One of the something that I dislike is ...... being left alone . Right now , I am all alone in the hospital room without any visitors or guardians . I was admitted in the hospital last two days ago because of high fever for more than a week . For a moment , the doctor kind of lost on what to do with me because even with the medicine they provided me , my temperature kept on went high . But out of sudden , by just now , when they checked me , my fever already gone . Only left with dry cough and sore throat . I was surprised , of course . You do not know how happy I am to finally can open my eyes and move around comfortably . 

Actually .... let me explain of why I hate being left alone in hospital room . 

On 2013 , I was admitted in a psychiatric ward for trying to suicide . At that time , I was only 15 . I was depressed because of my dark past that kept on coming to haunt me . Okay let's not talk about that . But yeah . When I admitted in that ward , no one , I repeat NO ONE ever visited me for more than a month . I was lonely and confused . Where were my friends ? Where were my families ? Where were my teachers ? Where were everyone that close to me ? I felt that I was being abandon . The only people that entertained me at that moment were the young Chinese doctor , the head of nurses and the grandma next to my bed . Other than that , people just ignored me and treated me harshly . 

The staff in the hospital kind of disgust (???) with me because I had cause too much chaos during my stay in there . Well , I ran away once from the hospital . I protested once in the ward . But I think that was all . No need for them to chain me up to the bed like a slave . Okay , I feel so sad thinking about this so I am going to stop . 

But from this short thing I told you , I guess you can already conclude of why I feel this way , right now in this big hospital room . I tried to act like I do not care and learn to be strong . But remember , once a wall already broke , it took time to build it back . 

Now tell me . What should I do ?

P/S : If you are curious whether I am still a suicidal or not , well let me tell you I already stop long time ago because I want a better life . :)