danny:
one of those chinese girls who went out on a date with me
is coming to my place in about 15 minutes
still can't figure out how she got my address
couldn't act cruel enough to say no

me:
stalker~

danny:
what do i do

me:
she's watching you now
tell her you got family coming over today

danny:
no seriously

me:
and you can't entertain

danny:
like i have no time and i think she's already on the way
FML

me:
like say "you can stay for a lil bit, but i got parents coming over"

danny:
i had a love affair with a bottle of tequila tonight
dunno what to do

me:
so make small chat, etc.

danny:
panickin

me:
and then kick her out

danny:
if i log out that means she's here
help help

me:
get a friend to call you
and be all "hey mom..yah...unh huh. okay see you soon"
that'll give you an hour max with stalker chick

danny:
good idea
the only prob is that i'm not sober enough to carry out the process

me:
lemme look up a phone card or somethin..

danny:
it's so different to when i'm drinking wine
it's like i feel as i'm high on smoke or sumthin
should i shower
should i lock my door and windows
plz help T__T

me:
no shower. yes on the door and iwndows
pretend to not be home

danny:
so...
answer is to be a ?
i'll take your advice
wish me good luck

me:
good luck~
times like these i'd be a for you
come out in a towl when she's at the door
best way to get rid of a chick
or yell at you that the baby is kicking
lol

danny: lol good girl