Analyzing our Behaviour: An investment

The following story is a personal one. I happen to have so many issues as I try to learn new things about myself and discovering them aint always pretty. I came from a good and decent family. But with that said, everyone know that no family is perfect, as every human is still flawed and has our own weaknesses.

I would like to share this post to emphasize the title, that it’s an investment to reflect on ourself with our daily lives including interaction with everyone around us, even our own moods as we do anything, may it be a simple chore or just meeting a friend for a short coffee. Often, we are already on autopilot and everything we do or say just comes to us and goes. Sometimes our actions are even faster than our minds. And how often did this get us into trouble? I have the habit to reflect on myself as often as everyday. Not that much task now but it was a struggle at first. Why do I have to ask myself a bunch of nonsense stuff?  Why do I even have to analyse myself as if im a study project?

I wanna say that it helped me in various ways and this is just my opinion to help us get to know ourselves better. Imagine if you don’t know yourself that much, how do you expect others to get to know you? They will surely have a hell of a hard time. If you don’t know what ticks you off, you will just react like a chemical compound. Very dangerous. But if you try to get to know what your limits are and what makes you, you, then youll understand how things work and why you are that way. Its hard to ask ourselves questions like, “Why did you do that?,” “Why did you react that way to your friend or partner?,”  sometimes even ourselves are scare to know why we do stuff. But from experience I can say it will help you and other people around you get to know you. And will help them know who you really are. I know its scary to be vulnerable in front of people but no need to fear to get hurt because eventually youll get stronger and will find people who are actually going to admire you. Its no lie.

Maybe 8/10 will just choose to ignore the problem and after a heated fight they’ll say sorry out of guilt and when their partner forgives them everything was forgotten. Sure forgive and forget is a good thing! But what about the triggers that caused you to be angry or say something bad? No one is a saint and all of us has weaknesses, fears, and vulnerable spots. Many would just ignore what happened and WHY it happened. Fights don’t happen from nothing. Theres always a trigger, theres always a reason!

It would be better if your partner(if in a relationship) will try to be more open to the idea of searching within ourselves to answer all the “why” questions. If youre single then why not have a soulful journey of asking yourself why you do things that way and find your answers. It maybe a simple question like, “Why do you do things that way?”

In my experience, it saves relationships. When you know why youre suddenly snapping at your partner and they had no clue what the hell they did, it would be good to tell them they said or did something that triggers your bad emotions (e.g., youre sensitive about that topic, or you have issues in that way) then they can only be understanding with you and can learn not to say things or do things that way that might hurt you. But how to solve this fight if you don’t even know why youre mad at your love one? If theyre also reactive like a chemical then worse comes to worse I bet no cuddles tonight. Or worst it can cause a permanent rift (if you always fight) then a break up might be soon.

Its so much relieving when your partner understands why youre suddenly acting up, all of us are humans and wanted love and acceptance. But we cant help but push them away sometimes bcs we are also scared to be rejected and hurt, right? But if they truly lovey you, they’ll offer understanding and support. They wont judge you or use your weaknesses as a grip on your neck to make you feel even weaker and bad about yourself (that’s an abuse).

Okay back to the topic, no one likes to be a mind reader. So if you love your partner, its not always about you and don’t expect them to always understand you, do you even understand yourself? If youre in their shoes, are you a treasure or a pain in the ? 

Its good to know ourselves , and by knowing ourselves more and more the better we learn what makes us, unique. You might be surprised that you don’t know a lot about yourself. So start by being your own friend! Its an investment to know a very unique being such as yourself and youll give yourself the honor of being the 1^st to know you!

Start now! And start getting to know how beautiful you are no matter how flawed or scarred.

Let me leave my favourite quote, “Life is beautiful but only if you choose to see it as such.”