she starts speaking before the camera's even rolling, only to be cut off by the interviewing holding their hand up. she squirms around in her seat, tapping the pads of her fingers against her bare thighs. kids these days have no patience. damn, ungrateful millennials. the interviewer clears their throat before motioning for the young woman to finally speak.

"the name's lalice kim, pronounced la-li-se," her pace only slows to clearly pronounce her name, tracing the hangul characters in the air with a slim finger. "i'm nineteen years old, born february twenty eighth nineteen ninety seven. um, i don't really have a traditional job, i'm a vlogger and part time meokbang star." apparently she's using 'star' very loosely. "i like making cooking videos, about like, gourmet cooking on a budget. you know, stuff like chicken parmesan using chicken strips and potato chips for breading. and then i let people watch me eat. but... i guess it doesn't really count as a job because i don't get paid for it? hmm.... it feels like a job sometimes? i guess i'm unemployed then."

"i was born and raised in france, but i spent two years studying in china, not like that's really important. um, currently i live in itaewon. seoul, of course."

"and as for personality... i dated a poet once and he described me as scintillating. i'm not really sure what that means actually, i hope it's nothing bad. but then we broke up and he called me machiavellian, which i'm pretty sure is something bad but i don't know for sure. moral of the story is: don't date poets because you won't even know what they're saying to you. my friends say i talk a lot and that i'm very outspoken? or like... brash? like, i'm really self-assertive and honest but like, kinda in a rude and like, overhearing way. i was like 'how?' and then they reminded me about the time i almost fought someone in class because they said pistachios were good. but like, everyone knows walnuts are best nut. they also say i'm bawdy and a bit of a tease? which i don't mean to be on purpose, i don't think." the interviewer blinked at her ramblings, not exactly sure which information was valueabe and which was just filler. and god, how many times has she said 'like' or 'um'? damn millennials.

"in school i was on like the debate team and stuff, and my teachers always said i was really um, -toot? astute? really good at like, reading the room or like a situation and using it to my advantage. and i guess i'm pretty creative? i mean, if i can make lasagna out of leftover kimchi, tofu, udon noodles, and lotsa tomato paste, that has to say something of my creativity, right? but like, when strangers first meet me, they think i'm really ditzy and like dumb and that i think of nothing except like playing. why can't i play and be smart at the same time? okay but honestly, i may be educated but i'm still stupid."

"as for pressure, i live for it. i always act like i don't and that it stresses me out a lot, but i work better under pressure than almost any other time. i do scream, a lot, when i'm on a tight schedule, but my screams only make me more powerful and help to harness my inner chef magic. honestly, i scream a lot because everything's so exciting while cooking. like when you flambe something and the fire just goes all like woosh and then it almost burns off your eyebrows so you're kinda scared but it's so cool you're just like 'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!' and that's how i am only like all the time. i cheer for myself while chopping food and washing food and prepping food and using a blender. screaming is just fun." the intervierwer gave lalice a wither look, already able to tell that the production team and other competetors would have a lot on their hands with her.

SOLLILOQUIES FOR LALICE KIM : tl ; dr looking at her, you feel bubbly like a carbonated drink. you feel excitement, you feel laughter. the energy and fun-loving nature of a puppy almost makes you brush her off as harebrained and mindless, but then you see the glint of something more in her eyes. you look deeper, seeing hermes and his winged sandals flying around in her mind as she adapts to the situation at hand. she gives you a smile, the curve of her lips attracting you, pulling you in, beckoning you to learn more. she's like a summer sun storm, unconevntional but refreshing. her way of thinking is unorthodox, you learn, something almost foreign. she's honest, you learn, though sometimes aggressively so. she's strong and energetic, but also overbearing with a tendency to be rude. she is clever, brilliantly so, in such a way that betrays your first opinion. and her skill, you've met no one to match her kitchen macgyverisms. but, you feel, that because she thinks she has to prove that she's more than a dumb teenager, more than a ditzy girl, that she is cunning and unscrupulous, taking the thrill of competition too far. when she gets worked up, you no longer see hermes in her eyes. instead, the fire of ares ready to strike hot.

TROPES AND EXTRAS : genius ditz, macgyvering, cordon bleugh chef, aquarius, chaotic neutral, the magician

she looks down at the title of the paper she was handed, sprawled in neat, bolded, size ten courier read any tv-worthy tales? she paused to think before picking up her pen to record her answers.

i was born and raised in paris, but like i said, during the last year of middle school and the first year of high school, i studied abroad in china. → i can speak french ( native ), english ( semi-fluent ), korean ( advanced ), and mandarin chinese ( advanced ).

currently, i live alone in a decent sized one room apartement in itaewon. my parents pay for my rent so i don't have to worry about being homeless.

my parents own a contemporary korean restaurant in paree, so i guess i get my experiemental cooking style from them.

i don't really like living alone. if i could change anything about my life, i would try and find a roommate or a boyfriend or have my family live with me.

perpetually single and perpetually trying to find someone to show me affection. every time i flirt with someone, i get brushed off. is it because i look like a boy? c'mon at least i look like a pretty one!

being in a kitchen feels the best when there are a bunch of other people in there too, and you have to scoot around each other in my opinion.

i'm that kid who took dodgeball too seriously in gym class.

i was featured in a french cooking magazine in an article about uprising millennial chefs, which was really cool and i have the article framed on my wall.

i like cooking better when there's a camera around so everyone can see how pretty i look. i film my cooking vlogs pretty frequently, but only meokbang on mondays because that's the day everyone hates and the day everyone could use company if they eat alone.

if anyone on this show tries to trash talk me, i will in their mouths.

i have an iq of 145. not really cooking related, but i like to brag.

oh! my hair is this length because of a kitchen incident when my hair got caught in an open flame! good times. i had to chop it all off because the hair was well, burnt. don't be near open flame while drunk, kids.
 

she's back in front of the video camera now, she hopes she didn't make any glaring mistakes in korean.

"i want to join flambe so i can take the pretentiousness out of cooking. it's stupid how women are expected to cook and stay in the kitchen but highly paid professional chefs are men. even worse, how said chefs don't consider anyone who hasn't studied extensively in france and knows what a sous chef is to be a real chef. all forms of cooking are valid, and not everyone has the resources to buy white truffle or saffron."

"and as a young chef with no formal training who makes use of whatever i have laying around, i want to prove to people that cooking is more than fancy french schools and expensive ingridients. by taking the pretention out of cooking, you'll find more and more people who love to cook." 

"as a contestant, well, i have no formal education when it comes to cooking, so if you speak to me in really technical cooking terms, i'll have zero clue what you're saying. i'm really only used to working with ordinary ingridients like chicken nuggets and pop tarts and popcorn, so if you throw something like... i dunno some exotic fish for the great barrier reef, i'll have to taste it before i know what to do with it. i also refuse to tolerate disrespect. if anyone and i mean anyone on this show tries to talk me, i will destroy them. i'm a very competetive person but if i'm facing off against someone decent, then i can focus more on my cooking and not one-upping the who makes fun of me for using chicken nuggets."

"as a chef, i work with familiar ingridients, things that most people have laying in their fridges and cabinets. i specialize in cooking western food because, don't tell my parents i said this, but korean food is very constricting when it comes to like, alterations to the recipe. they require a specific way of cooking them, otherwise they won't be what they're supposed to be."

"like, i can't put gogi into sundaeguk and still call it sundaeguk the way i can put bacon, diced onion, and cilantro into a pancake and still be able to call it a pancake. i can't bread kimchi with crushed potato chips the way i can bread like... mac and cheese."

"but i dunno, all in all i work better with simple ingridients, making gourmet food into comfort food by using familiar ingridients that everyone can make. i just want to have fun, and win, because cooking is supposed to be something fun, y'know? not something like 'oh what a ing noob you don't know how to properly extract all the bountiful flavors from this giant- swordfish?? pathetic'."

the interviewer nods and stops the tape, wondering when they stopped chiding her for being young and relatively dumb and started absorbing everything she said.

A FINAL WORD ON LALICE KIM : she is unapologetically millennial. young and hopeful and trying to shatter the foundations of a male-dominated structure with what she has, even if it may not seem like much to those around her. she'll build a new fusion of food with her own two hands, revolutionize convenient food, revolutionize making something beautiful from what she has.