What is this empty feeling?

 

I don’t know why but I feel so lonely although I am surrounding by friends who are always care about me.

 

Am I selfish? Am I wrong for wanting nothing but someone to understand this suffocating feeling inside me?

 

I am drowning and battling against myself but no one knows. No one is sensible enough to ask me why, to understand me, to maybe, just maybe give me a hug and whisper, “That’s alright. Just let it go.”

 

I am so useless, living only to burden people who love me, and who I love.

 

Deep inside I am so hurt. My heart ache for wanting what I would never get. I don’t ask much. I only want-

 

…

 

I don’t know what I actually want.

 

Am I craving for love? Am I desperate enough for a friend? Am I so poor and in need of money?

 

I don’t know.

 

Human can be complicated. They are unique and different.

 

No one could live in this crazy world alone, without someone special by their side.

 

That someone could be a friend, a significant other, a soulmate, or maybe a stranger.

 

A stranger that knows us better than other person.

 

A stranger that understands what we want, what we need, what we never had.

 

I wish I had one.

 

But fate is cruel and likes watching me suffer.

 

Fate enjoys ignoring me and leaving me alone when I need a shoulder to lean on.

 

We believe the moon is bright and gives hope.

 

But it is the sun that shines. It is the sun that stays loyal and patient for the sake of the moon that wants to shine like the sun.

 

Can I be the sun?

 

I only want to be the sun. Just stay behind people I love and make them shine bright, giving light to people in darkness.

 

When night comes the sun will go down for the moon to shine.

 

We cannot see the sun when it is the one who always by the moon’s side.

 

What am I babbling now? Why I talk about the sun and the moon when my problems are still unsolved?

 

Funny isn’t?

 

How a simple ‘sorry’ could change how someone’s think and act.

 

To the hell with that, I am too tired to deal with your bull.

 

you I don’t need you anymore you ing I am so mad at you and you still being ing ignorant, with your ing ego.

 

By hook or by crook I swear my heart would never be the same as before.

 

you.

 

---

 

something i write at 3 am wtf.