Herro everyone,

For the past few nights I haven't slept well and but not slept well I mean I have gotten under 3 hours of sleep. So last night I just couldn't sleep and by the time I managed to nod off it was 5am (I have to get up to wash my hair at 6am and leave my house by 7am) I woke up gone 7am and I was going to miss my bus to college. 

I haven't been feeling good and DD knows this as well and has been comforting me, yesterday I honestly didn't want to be at college I knew photography was going to be a nightmare. I had done all the transition tasks for my second year as a photography student and that is a mindmap, montage, statement of intent, and further research. I had done all of it and my mindmap was so full I couldn't fit all my ideas onto it. 

My teacher turned round and told me that I had no ideas even though I clearly did and the fact I had done all the work before anyone else as well it just upset me.

I had to explain my whole project idea to this teacher and she still didn't understand, she thought I couldn't develop my shoots and that they would all be the same etc. I am doing Mental Health...I had to explain each shoot in detail for her to bloody understand my vision here as I want to take a different Mental Illness with each shoot and for my first one I want Anxiety to be portrayed and I want to include DDLG because that is my personal copying mechanism.

The fact that this woman just kept saying I had no ideas and stuff really got to me... why is it that when I am able to finally get some motivation to do work I get pushed down by this one stupid teacher who isn't even a photographer she is a graphics teacher...she looks at images different to one of a photography teacher. She fails to see deeper into the images to work out all the connotations and meanings etc thats what really gets me angry because she goes round and tells everyone how bad their work is even though it is absolutely stunning. She did it to me and she did it to many A* pupils in my class, we got our grades for a reason by her telling us that our work is bad we start to feel frustrated. 

The head of photography was in my exam two weeks ago and I was editing one of the many images that the certain female teacher disliked, he stood behind me and bent over me to look at the picture and the words that came out of his mouth was what I wanted to hear 'Beautiful picture' That is from a real photography teacher and head of the department in my college...so how is it that he likes the work but this doesnt. 

It really frustrates me.

I don't even want to go today but I have to.

I am seeing DD today so I guess I can look forward to that hehe.

sorry for my little rant by the way... I really needed to get it out.