uhm, hello?

hello?

yeah, so hi dearies! :)

as the title implies...

im going to rant so delulu stuff again because i want to share my feels with you, co-delulus

i don't know the reason why suddenly there are things that pop out regarding the kxk dating news again

one is what mama vic has said in an interview (y mama vic??? y???)

and then here (link)

(i know its akp and its not really trustworthy but im already delulu right? lol)

in their last performance... the angsty airport pic that was shown (it's not really related to kxk but yeahhh huhuhuhu)

honestly, it's almost a month and my heart has already calmed down and i even started to write another fic which includes them after i finished ISWAD (if interested, it's here)

i thought that i was already over it since you know? i would have to accept it eventually because it's the truth (maybe) or just take it from the perspective that the boys will date in the future because they are normal human beings who have feelings and there is a large possibility that they will be marrying and will have kids blah blah blah

but it turns out that im not lol

im feeling so pathetic over this

i creyyyy

tbh, im also one of those people who feels slightly disappointed in k**

ever since the news broke out, i thought he will be leaving some kind of a message to the fans, even just during their anniversary because he always does that right? he's the type to leave messages on the official site when it's a special day like a holiday or during their comeback...

their anniv is just as important as that, right?

well, maybe the kid is just scared of how the people are going to react if he does so

so i can't really blame him, if that's the case

it's just... regretful? that he can't be the same after the dating news

and i still blame SM for that lol

why??

idk what has gotten into them that made them think that announcing another exo member dating is going to be okay for everyone

it's like the ba**y**n thing didn't even happen

if kxk is truly really really really real

couldn't they have just denied the news and say that kxk are simply friends hanging out together?

i mean people will still believe that because they are known to be actually friends

because dating is a whole other issue (and mess) to get their artists in

i dont think SM people are that stupid to have not foreseen the reaction of the fans if they confirm the news

did it bring them any good?

i don't see anything good with

kfans bashing kxk

people doubting kxk

people uncovering nastiness on k**

speculating that k****** will follow sister

k** looking all tired and sad

people not getting impressed with k****** new photoshoot and posts on sns

and of course

kaisoo just not being the same anymore

it's like when k** was healed

soo backed off

it hurtsssssss

maybe they got to see the fans who support the couple

but really

im curious

are they really the majority of fans? (kfans and intl fans combined)

and idk why there are still people who thinks that most who are not supporting kxk is because they are jealous because they lost their chance with k**

tbh, i don't see much statements that support that in all of the platforms that i lurk in

i could still conclude that many people are skeptical of kxk because they know not to trust SM from previous media plays

and does anyone know what happened to krishan's lawsuit???

damn

its been 20 days and i still know nothing

not even a paragraph of article was written abt that

and those who are feeling mad and/or leaving the fandom or changing biases

they were feeling that way and doing that because of the same reason why im pretty disappointed with k**

sure, the kid doesn't need to apologize for dating

its his right and we cant stop who he will fall in love to

but let us try and understand this from the kfans perspective (because they are generally the ones who are most upset with this)

and just to clear things

what you will read may sound ridiculous, selfish, possossive, immature... blah blah blah

i am not saying that i approve of them

but i would like to keep an open mind because keeping yourself ignorant on what the other side has got to say is being close minded and unfair

you may agree with them

but you might also not

so yeahhh

let's be understanding and love each other :)

also im not going to say that what i will say here is accurate

this will be based on my personal observation okay?

so yeah

from what i could tell, kfans really go all out with the idols that they support

they treat them on a different level with heightened admiration and curiosity

those who are feeling these to the extremes become the sasaengs

they build a perfect image of them and they expect them to act within their expectations because that is how an idol gets their support

anyway

how does a kfan support their idol?

they buy albums

they go to perfs

they pay for concerts

they buy the merchs

they follow them around on different levels of extent

im short, they dish out money

which SM loves

and that keeps their idol groups to be kept on promoting

more fans

more money

more fame

and what does an artist need to survive the industry right?

there are tons of competition and if you have lesser fans

that means lesser machinery for promotion

sad lifeeee

so i think they have this mentality that without them

the idols are nothing but normal people with talent and have trained but will get nothing out of it but praises by people who appreciate them

without their support, do you think a group woul feel encouraged to perform at their best everytime if they dont have an audience?

without them paying money to their company, would their company fund their promotions and such?

being an idol is also making for a living so without the proper support and funding

where will that lead?

i hope i got my point across :P

so the reason why they are upset when idols do something that they shouldn't which doesn't involve improving their performances and talents and skills

like smoking

partying

drinking

dating

gambling

etc

they feel mad because they shouldn't do that

it makes them feel disregarded, neglected and ignored

it makes an idol look like ungrateful and that's the reason why they are pissed off

that is the reason why most of them are asking/waiting for k**'s apology

he already has an issue of ignoring the fans in LA and these whole mess is just adding fuel to the fire

sure, there are many fans who have crossed the line but there are still many who didn't

i think they feel that it's unfair that they are being treated like they dont matter because k** has been mum until now

but then again

k** is a pretty sensitive kid and his fear could be justified

im not going to want to force k** to apologize because i do think that he doesn't need to

if kxk is really a thing and we are just barking at SM for nothing

why cant he face his fans and appease them?

there have been so many dirt thrown on him and i hate it that SM doesn't do anything to defend him

and why doesn't he look like himself anymore?

i mean we all know that he always looks sleepy outside of stage

but i dont know why other people say otherwise but lately he does look sad and super tired

even after recuperating from his injury

this thing has been putting too much strain on the kid

i think we could all see that

what is this even with those things that brings kxk back on the headlines?

i mean we've already been through a lot after the news

and then they will come back with mama vic affirming the relationship

and then the revealing that they alleged 'condo for dates' is real and has been found out

why do we need more eveidence from them that kxk is real

i mean SM confirmed it already right?

and we who reads and believes the theories are not that many right?

or yeah, maybe we are too many to ignore that they needed to push down our throats that we have to believe that kxk is real

okay, so what does it give them if we believe kxk?

they could still date even though we don't support them right?

i don't think we're that important that they will break up because of us

we aren't going to kidnap them when they will go out on a date or do whatever

well, they've already lost fans and many people just don't care if they date because yeah yeah it's their right blah blah blah

but if we don't believe kxk...

no one will believe their future ploys anymore

mwahahahahaha

all i know is that it has opened my wounded delulu heart... :'(

so what's actually the point of this another long post??

i'm feeling disheartened because of all these things

i know i know

but im delulu so yeahhhh

i started another fic because i thought i could handle it already

and it's got a 100+ readers already and it's sad that i might just disapoint them

right now, i feel like removing k**'s character from the storyyy

but nooooooo

that would destroy my story line and everything will be a mess

but then i don't know if i could update as soon as i wanted to

siiiiighhhh

but then when i added a bonus chap to DDG, i was just fine

so it's not because i feel lazy writing

but yeahhhh

kaisooooo :'(

i couldn't help but wonder why does it seem like their relationship is affected by this issue

i mean they were really okay before

so why are they acting differently since after the news?

if we get out of our delulu world, shouldn't they act the same because after all, their bromance wasn't realy affected?

they should still be bros, right?

but in our delulu world

of course soo will be upset

because you knooowwwwww

and i might just have repeated what i've written in my previous blogs

lol

also, i'm not bashing the kfans because i've no right to do that because i don't fully understand where they are coming from

i try to though and somehow, i could see reason in their actions

but im not fully supportive of them

maybe i will be one of those who thinks that they could date all they want

just dont let us know about it

and maybe reveal things after their 8th anniv maybe?

it's a cruel world and being a kpop idol is never easy

you submit your life to almost whole day trainings and practices

you submit your life to public scrutiny

you submit your life to performing

you submit your life to striving for more and perfection

and i think they all know that

i hope that there will be a time where the fans and idols come to a compromise with these dating news

it's sad that idols can't live normally

it's sad that fans are feeling unappreciated

oh well

i hope i didn't make you sad or confused with this post

and i hope you would still feel free to share your thoughts

to hell with those who doesn't want to understand yet they take time to read posts and comments about what they don't like and say things to make them look cool or whatever

im still bitter

lol

sorry

but yeah take care dearies

ily <3