So about 3 weeks ago, I broke up with my boyfriend because it just didn't work anymore and I decided to go back to writing here since he didn't like me writing on this site and I've missed this.

The break-up hurt me bad because I really love him and still think about him too much, but instead of crying my eyes out and stay depressed, I thought it was a good idea to use this dating site to find other gay men (I'm biual myself but a guy felt more like he could replace the old feeling I had with my ex).

I know we've only been apart for like 3 weeks and I already had a date with someone else way younger than my ex (ex=42 btw and I just turned 23) and even though I liked the date (because he can cuddle great like my ex and the was great) it just doesn't feel right. 

I know I dated WAAAAY too soon but what else can I do? I feel like my heart is locked in a cage half my heart's size and slowly shrinks more. 

With my ex we only watched tv, took a stroll from time to time and cuddled a lot. But I want someone whom I can do fun things with outside the house, play games, laugh a lot with, someone who trusts me <- most important thing because I trust very easily but my ex never trusted in me. 

This may sound silly but I really enjoy a master/slave like relationship with me being the submissive but I also want to have fun and cuddle a lot.

Now I have a second date with my previous date but I already know it's not gonna work out because he's not the one I love, he already said that it's okay just for though but it feels wrong. And to make it even worse, I have a date with someone else as well, because we have mutual interests and he wants to watch anime with me, I thought as friends but I just found out he might want more so >.<

Anyway it is my first REAL relationship that's over and I know that what I'm doing is wrong, but I can't deal with this...

Sorry for the rant I just needed to put these feelings somewhere...