May 7, 2016. This is the day that I will finally be able to meet the five boys that changed my life forever. 

On that day, SHINee will be coming to LA to perform at the Hollywood Bowl, and thanks to some amazing connections and my wonderful best friend, I will be attending. I honestly don't know what to feel. When I first found out they were coming, my mind went blank. They were actually coming to my hometown. Los Angeles. Wow. The only though that came to my head was, "I have to be there." Immediately, I told my parents. Luckily, my parents are supportive of my love for kpop. They do tease me from time to time of my obsession with it, but they are not bothered by it. The only condition they have for me is that I keep up with my studies. My dad even listens to kpop with me in the car and holds conversations with me about recent kpop news. Our debates get pretty intense. I love my parents. 

The next person I told was my best friend, whose mom has a job that allows her to get few free tickets. She told her boss that her "daughter" was a huge fan and that she must obtain these tickets for her. So, along with my parents, my best friend, and her parents, I will be able to see SHINee live.

I have been a kpop fan since 2009. My introduction to kpop was pretty typical. My best friend sat me down in front of a computer one night when she was over at my house and played a few music videos for me. The very first video I watched was B2ST's "Bad Girl." To be honest with you all, I didn't like it very much at first. I thought all, except one, was ugly. Their clothes were atrocious and their hairs were weird. The video itself was structured in a way I was not accustomed to. Dancing, dancing, close-up, dancing, close-up, close-up, close-up, dancing, dramatic effects, dancing, finishing pose. What the hell was I watching?

But, I admit, there was something intriguing about it. Something mesmerizing. I couldn't stop thinking about it for days. Eventually, I embarked on a journey to learn as much as I can about this phenomenon called kpop. Honestly, as a Korean, I was embarrased I wasn't aware of my own culture's music. Unlike my other Korean friends, I was born in the States and grew up pretty "white-washed." I spoke little Korean, couldn't eat spicy food, and barely knew anything about my country's past. 

I discovered SHINee by watching Hello Baby. From the first episode, I was hooked. Following my avid viewing, I watched every single music video, listened to all of their albums, and learned their names, faces, and facts by heart. Years past, but my affection for these five boys only grew stronger. My best friend always jokes about how I'm like their mother, and while the comparison is awkward considering the , it's fitting. Never, to this day, have I ever liked a kpop celebrity romantically. I never looked at an idol and thought, "I want to date him/her. I'd screw him/her. We'll get married." They're human beings, people I don't know personally. Why should I lust after them? My love for SHINee is beyond simple fangirl desires. I admire them. They're role models for me. They are some of the most hard-working, genuine, and lovable people I have come to know, and I treasure their existence. 

So come May 7, I wont' know what to do with myself. These past few weeks, I've been feeling overwhelmed. What do I do when I see them? Will I cry? Will I not cry? What am I supposed to feel? As a sentimental person, I probably will cry. Not tears of sadness, but tears of joy. For SHINee, I'm happy to shed tears and let down my barriers. I will scream at the top of my lungs until I lose my voice, feeling no regrets the morning after. I will sing along to every song, word for word. I don't care if the people around give me odd stares. I will show my love at the sacrifice of my pride. SHINee taught me to be brave, to be strong, and to be confident. And that is what I will be. 

My poor Shawol heart has been leaping for joy. SHINee is home. SHINee World is family. I am so damn proud to be a Shawol. I bleed pearl aqua.

Dreams really do come true.