Okay, so I feel like I need to apologise. Again, yes. I tried to come back here like, idek how many times but I never truly stayed and posted any story updates. So that's what I'm going to tell you about now.

I think the last time I posted a story was some time in 2014, and I think that was something I had made a while before. Truth be told, I don't think I had been writing anything since the end of 2013.

I suffer with pretty severe depression and have been diagnosed with that, and anxiety, since I was about 14 years old. It wasn't severe back then though.

Just before I turned 16 in 2011, my nan passed away due to cancer. We were very close so that hurt me a lot. Then I lost all my friends at school because I shut myself away and they let me so I guess it wasn't really a loss if they could do that. After that, my dad practically abandoned me for his new girlfriend.

In 2012, things started to look up. I met my boyfriend and even through a few ups and downs we had a pretty great relationship going on. I was happy because I had new friends and a boyfriend that I was so in love with and he was amazing. 

2013, the worst thing happens yet again. My boyfriend passed away. Due to the same son of a ing disease that took my nan. That hurt me more than anything could and once again I shut myself off. Only this time that one amazing friend(Micka) didn't let me. 

But she doesn't live in the same country as me so I still shut myself off from everyone here. I didn't make friends, I never really went out the house and my depression got worse. A lot worse. To the point that now I can't even socialise with people properly. I don't even know how to.

It's been however long since then that I tried to write but I literally lost any and all love and motivation for the hobby.

You might feel like I am making excuses but everyone is different and I lost that part of me to the depression for so long. I feel like a let down a lot of people who waited for updates that I didn't provide even though I promised.

The whole point of this blog, really, was to apologise and make an announcement that I am proud of.

Today I started to write again. I don't know how it happened but I just suddenly felt this urge and when I opened up a word document, the words just spewed onto it. I swear the only reason I stopped is because I have to be up for work at 5am but other than that, I was so ready to come back.

I cried because after I finished two chapters I felt so proud and I feel like I've claimed a part of me back. I have won. To anybody else that suffers and knows they don't do something they once loved, maybe you can relate. It was so emotional for me. Even most of my family or a few friends that have known me a while messaged me and told me that they were proud/happy for me. Anyway, I have no idea how to finish a blog post like this so I'm just going to tell you all that this time I mean it when I say I am coming back. I'm going to finish my old fic. This time, it's a promise I'm not going to break.

If you made it all the way to the end here, I seriously admire you, haha.