It is really hard to explain, I know where my place is, where I stand with him, but it is inevitably to feel this way.

I just can´t do this, is like everything I want and imagine, happens but with my outside.

I want him and I know it is impossible to have him, but is the same feeling everytime. Maybe I should just leave, and stop this childish games or childish hobby, is iy too late to grow up and find new likes or friends or hobbies??

Did I lose my self and I won’t be able to find me? Am I too stupid to feel like this?

I just don´t understand, is like I have two different people in me.

My psychologist told me that it was normal to feel like this for a few days, no more.

My ego, my IT and super-ego were fighting and the rational part is fighting against my necessities and I just can´t hold it anymore.

I’m not going to mop and whine I just ask WHYYYYYYY, why is this happening!? Why can´t I be normal?? Why is real life so hard?

My parallel world is way much better than this, and no, im not only imagining good things but I guess I’m doing something wrong because everything I wish is happening but with a single detail:

I’M NOT INLUDED!!!