Anxiety and Self Hate playing their games.

YO,

I had an anxiety attack about an hour ago and am still suffering with the after effects, I am so anxious and self hate that had been doing so well seems to have relapsed.

All over my ing hair and I feel so stupid and pathetic over this like I know it can be easily changed in a few days, but my brain is telling me how ugly I am and that I am the most useless in the whole ing world. 

I sent out a plea for help and luckily two people sent me a message one being an ex who I am still close to, the two people spoke with me for a while (one up to an hour) before they all fell asleep as it was already 1am at that time. It is currently 2:27am and I am still dealing with that stupid self hate voice screaming all sorts of crap. I know I shouldn't listen to it but it is really hard when your anxiety is also fighting with you. 

I really am useless.

Great.

Sorry for being such a burden to everyone *sigh*

 

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Thekpopobsessor #1
I hope you're feeling better! I had a attack yesterday and I had two today... I'm tired.
sleepingprince #2
I hope that u'l feel better soon. Try doing some meditation it will help you to relax. Read some self help books as well. Get inspired and go for your dreams. Believe in yourself
CaptSunRiser #3
You are not useless. You are not a burden. I know your self doubt is telling you that, but it is lying, and you kind of know that already. Also, if you were useless, people wouldn't come to you to make sure you were alright, and especially not an ex. Exes don't do that. So listen to that voice. Hear it out. And then call it a liar because if you were useless, a random stranger on the Internet wouldn't be telling you that you are ing awesome and you should be proud of how eloquently you have put your mental state and how much you understand about it. So few people understand how they feel and why they feel these things, and you probably don't understand everything about it (because who the hell does?) but you understand more than most, and that's real insight. So you're not stupid.
And as for saying you're ugly, that's a) not true, and b) based on comparing yourself with other people. People who are not you. Most of whom are made (with make up and possibly surgery) to look beautiful because it is their job. You live in a society where you are told you need to be at such-and-such a standard to be beautiful. And that standard is always changing. And it's now becoming inhuman to achieve. You are not ugly. And, as far as I am concerned, I think you're beautiful anyway because your soul is coming out through this post and I think it's really a beautiful soul, and that makes you beautiful.
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