Dream

Loser, yes I am one of the loser.

Every dream that blooms withered instantly at the harsh word from people around me.

Living my life day by day with people judging each second I breathe.

My face (oh so ugly!), body (fat !), and clothing (what is she wearing?).

 They even judge me by my voice (her voice is so weird)

I know I shouldn’t be affected by this.

But I couldn’t help it since I am just a human and I do feel.

And it hurts. It hurts every time people say harsh words to me.

I become strong eventually as I don’t feel anything anymore.

The childhood dreams I have, I buried it with the innocent little girl who believes she can share her voice to the cruel world.

Love

It’s okay.

I pushed it away saying, I’m not going to die without any dream.

All a person ever wanted is love and to be loved.

I hung my head low as the constant comment drowns me deeper in my insecurities.

I’m not too sure if I just don’t feel any more or—

Maybe I’m just too scared to love.

Because I know, I’m ugly and fat. It’s the truth and I admit it.

But really… am I meant to be hated for the rest of my life?

Am I really not worth it?

Friend

Who cares about having boyfriend if you have a good friend?

But… where is mine?

Hey guys, where are you?

Alone again… oh well, guess I will be alone.

There again I sit alone with my phone hoping one of you will text me.

Wanting to text you but I am so afraid of rejection or the usual “I’m busy. Let’s talk later”.

Because I know, that later will never come and in the end of the day it will be only me crying over the beautiful memories we have.

Family

Too afraid to burden my beloved single mother

With my unstable emotion

She has too much to think of.

She must be missing my late father so much.

The only one she can lean on.

Can’t tell it to my little brother,

He is too young and I shouldn’t show him the miserable side of me.

Abah (father)… if you still here, will I have the strength to tell you about this conflict that have been going on in my head?

Can she tell you about how much her heart is broken?

I guess she won’t be able to do that…

Abah, your little flower, your princess is missing you badly.

Is this little flower going to wither and die alone, abah?

Is this princess will forever stuck on the high tower of non-ending judgment?

Abah… help… I’m feeling weak to go against this world.

Can I just sleep and follow you peacefully?