Mr. & Mrs. Choi (Reviewed by Lady Comma)
Author: the_Dollhouse
Genre(s): Romance, Drama, Action
Brief Description: Park Bom, neice of notorious Yakuza leader, and Choi Seunghyun, heir of the KKangpae royal family, meet while on vacation in Madrid and quickly fall in love, marrying before they even return home. However, while they were gone, a deal goes sour between the Yakuza and the Kkangpae and the two quickly become bloody enemies, tied to each other by their vows.
Rated H: Yes
Reviewed By: angelfocusbroken (Lady Comma)
1. Title: [5/5 pts.]
Very eye-catching... You don’t find titles like these very often. Good job!!
2. Poster/Graphics/Background: [5/5 pts.]
I love the poster, it fits well with the story line and also with the color theme. I am glad you chose a background that is of a solid color instead of one that has a lot of pictures or cartoons on it. The black helped me to focus on the story itself because anytime I find a story with a flashy background, it often detracts my attention away from the story. Good job picking out a color scheme!!
3. Foreword/Description: [10/10 pts.]
Although you didn’t add too much information about each individual characters, that is just my personal preference, I will say that you wrote enough to appease my inner reviewer and also enough to peak a potential readers interest. I didn’t see any grammar or spelling mistakes in either of your foreword or description. I’m glad that you added a good preview of your story in your foreword, that was enough to draw me to your story and get me motivated to read it. You did really well in this category, congratulations.
4. Plot: [30/30 pts]
HOLY !! It was action packed, -tastic, and just damn good to read! Your writing, and plot, is something that I would like to term as ‘high quality’ writing. There were times when I couldn’t tear my eyes away because it was so action packed and plus the scenes were... eh-hmm.... y?! I got so hot from the scenes that I thought I had jump-started my menopause and needed to take something for hot flashes... You need to put a sign that says:
CAUTION! SCENES WILL CAUSE YOU TO GO INTO MENOPAUSE PREMATURELY! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!
It was really good, I could definitely tell that you have thought out, and organized, the action and just the story line itself. I was very disappointed to discover that I had finished reading your story at the end of chapter 10... You did a damn good job girl, congratulations!!!
5. Flow: [3/5 pts.]
Your story is fantastic but I was a bit frustrated when you included so many ‘From the Author’s Desk’ notes in between chapters. I know that’s how you keep your readers informed and get their opinions on certain topics and such, but since I got really into the story itself, I was frustrated to find this notes because it was like hitting a wall blocking my way to the next scene. I know I am probably being unfair but I was frustrated girl, I even growled at my monitor whenever I saw these notes! No offense sweetie! My frustration and sadness of not having a lot more to read made my decrease your flow category by two points.
6. Characterization: [5/5 pts.]
The characterization was phenomenal. The reason why I say that, and I know it may sound a bit cheesy, but I was surprised, and quite pleased as a matter of fact, at how well you were able to keep every character in character while you switched POVs. This was the first time I was able to find a story where the characterization remained consistent with how many times you switched their POVs around. You did an excellent job!
7. Grammar/Spelling: [17/20 pts.]
The actual story chapters, not counting the ‘From the Author’s Desk’ had a few careless spelling errors that I caught without meaning too. Since you are a gifted writer and I figured you hadn’t intended to make some errors, I tried to be lenient. Next time, just try and read over your chapters before posting them to eliminate such errors.
8. Overall Enjoyment/Entertainment: [20/20 pts.]
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your story. It was action-packed, -filled, and just plain awesome. The best part was that it kept me glued to my seat and my eyes couldn’t leave the monitor.
Comments/Feedback: You are a very gifted writer. I hope you are considering a career in writing because I can definitely see you becoming a success. I am so very proud of your story and can’t wait to post it on our Recommendations list! Congratulations!
Total: [95/100] ← Amazing! Another high score! *throws confetti in the air*
*Please always remember that if you make changes, or add to your story, you can always request for another review to better your score. Just send in another application, and we’ll get back with you as soon as possible.*
P.S. I really liked the Teacher Park Bom one-shot :)
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