" Why ? What happen ? Why did you cry ? " 

I want to say something. I really do. But it's easier to let the tears do its work and just keep quiet.

You know what.

I'm crying because i'm tired. 

I'm crying because i feel unloved.

I'm crying because i'm jealous of those perfect girls out there.

I'm crying because i've just helped my crush get closer to his crush. Oh the irony.

I'm crying because i've just seen my crush chatted with her for 5 hours. and still counting.

I'm crying because i'm desperate to be that girl. Which happens to be my close friend . Yeah , she's THAT PERFECT GIRL.

I'm crying because once again , i am unloved.

I'm crying because never did my crushes 'crush' me back.

I'm crying because i just wish to let go of this tiny hope. that he actually likes me back. 

I'm crying because i've been hurt too much.

I'm crying because of the irony of feeling this for the nth times.

But did they know i'm crying because of them ?

No , they don't.

Why you ask ?

It's because i never told them. they never know. and never will.

Why didn't i told them ?

Been there. Trust me. Just it didn't go as planned. I'm not stupid to do that again.

What i'd do now ?

Maybe die. Yeah , i probably should. Long time ago.

Why did i keep loving somebody ?

Well can you choose who you love ? I hope i could. Sadly didn't.

So should i give up ?

Maybe i should. Really. Who would want to live this life where nothing goes your way , where you felt like the unluckiest person ever.

But sadly i did not. 

When i tried , i kept thinking of those who have been there for me , loves me , supports me , care for me.

Will those crushes cry if i'm gone ?

Will those crushes feel lost without me ?

They won't. I bet you 100 bucks then.

I think i won't give up..... yet.

Because.

I prefer to get hurt than make those who loves me , who values me , hurt.

Let me cry but they smile.

Let me hurt but them be happy.

Let me feel all the negativity , as long as they stay happy for me.

I felt lost in this labyrinth of love.

But thank God i have them in my life.

For i willing to fall , as long as they bounce up like a ball.

P.S : I could never felt more grateful❤