Ghost in The Mirror

Baramtokki

TITLE: 5

The title was very nice. It’s a bit eerie but it’s meaningful because it’s about Jieun, like the story. The story is all about Jieun and her ghostly present and equally ghostly past. The title is nice and appropriate and most of all, I liked it.

DESCRIPTION: 3

I didn’t quite feel the description. I mean like, it didn’t give any sort of impact towards me. I do think that yes, it has relevance and it is related to the story, but I don’t know it’s just plain and lacking for me.

GRAMMAR: 18

Your grammar is okay. It’s not all that great, but it’s okay and fine and nice. Reading through, word after word and line after line was nice because you had little mistakes but the thing that really irked me was how you kept on repeating some words and phrases twice or thrice in the same sentence. The grammar is good but the vocabulary needs a little work. Please do write more so that you can improve and you can continue to write more stories!

PLOT: 29

It’s my first time reading a fic like this and it gave me some spooky vibes but overall, it was good. The plot slowly unraveled itself towards the end and I liked how it was a happy ending because Jieun finally passed on. I like the story itself, and the plot is really nice seriously but I just think it isn’t nice enough for me to give it the perfect score. Nice isn’t synonymous to great, but it is a very good story overall. I just think it’s lacking some oof but other than that, I would recommend this story to those looking for a light, nice read.

CHARACTERIZATION: 9

I liked Jieun. I like her endearment terms towards the children, like she calls them “dear” and “sweet pea” and I’m here like, “call me that too Jieun please”. I like her character because she was described really well. I like her kindness most of all. Taemin and Jinri’s character had little description and I couldn’t connect to them like I did towards Jieun. But you have a nice set of characters, I just wanted them to be portrayed a little bit more.

WRITING STYLE: 7

Your writing style isn’t bad at all. I think it needs more improvement, it’s really good. It gives me the feeling of peace and tranquility. A writing style like yours fits for slice of life stories, definitely. It’s simple and plain but it’s borderline boring sometimes to be very honest with you. It’s nice yeah, but nice doesn’t get too far unless we act on it. I hope you expand your vocabulary, too.

RELEVANCE TO THE PROMPT: 10 
The prompt was there, and it was mentioned and I liked how you made it into Jieun’s advice towards Jinri. The prompt was well used and well incorporated.

OVERALL ENJOYMENT: 9

I like Jieun’s character. I’ve said that already but just to let you know, mhmm. I liked how kind she was and how sad her past was and how she went through so much even when she was already dead. The story was good in the end, and the plot was okay. The characters needed work but I liked Taemin a little bit, too. Most of the points are from Jieun’s character though, I really liked her. Great job!

TOTAL: 90/100