Between Life and Death

By: unspoken_

TITLE: 4

I docked off a point only because I didn’t quite find the title to be eye-opening or attention-grabbing. For me, of course. But the title suits the story well and the whole plot, I just didn’t find it as interesting as I should have. The title relates to the story well, and it basically is the story itself.

DESCRIPTION: 5

The description, at first, was fine. I was like, meh. But when I read the whole story, I got to understand it more and realized that the description was the story in just one sentence. It was what Jiyong said, and Hanbin began to revolve around those words and it helped him in the end. It also helped Hayi realize some things as well.  

GRAMMAR: 19

Your grammar is okay, it was good. It was simple and I didn’t have a hard time understanding words and sentences. I liked it, because it was just plain and nice in its own way. But I docked off a point because there were numerous small, minor mistakes that authors sometimes overlook. There were a handful like missing letters from a word, or “she” became “he”, if you read through you’ll find out. Other than those spelling mistakes, grammar is flawless.

PLOT: 28

The plot was very nice, and very meaningful especially to those having their own personal battles of life and death. It was very touching and reassuring and I very much liked the ending. Nice touch on the ending, I loved it, really. It was kind of predictable, and maybe that was what turned me off plus I thought it was going a little too fast and it made me feel like it was rushed. It’s still good, it really is.

CHARACTERIZATION: 9

Hanbin’s character, I kind of don’t get. He’s cold and ignores her and he doesn’t want to get mixed up in her business but then after a single talk with Jiyong, he’s up and into what she’s doing to herself. Maybe Jiyong just has that much influence on Hanbin, or maybe Hanbin is more mature than I thought. I really thought he was immature during the first part because hello, pretty girl talking to you? Said pretty girl wants to die too? Or rather, feel alive by slowly killing herself? Yeah? Anyway, I liked him in the end still, as I always do. Now, Hayi’s character was very sad. Her characters are always sad, but she’s exceptionally sad in this one. She’s sad and she’s okay with it, which it makes it even sadder and it made me frown. Her character was nicely made. And of course, even though Bobby had a itsy bitsy cameo, I loved him. I loved how he trusted Hanbin and I loved how he was part of them later on. 10/10 mainly because of Hayi and Bobby’s characters.

WRITING STYLE: 9

Your writing is nice. As I’ve said, it’s simple and plain and nice. I kept cringing at the parts where they talked about scars and cutting herself, and that’s a good thing because you made me feel something. You gave me an image and a feeling just by reading a few words and sentences. Your writing is already nice now, how much more in the future? Please do continue writing. (especially about Hanhi)

RELEVANCE TO THE PROMPT: 10 

You really let the prompt inspire you. It was nice to see it and read it on your story, and you incorporated it so well too.  The prompt was the whole story, and I’m glad you found inspiration in it!

OVERALL ENJOYMENT: 10

I was skeptical at the beginning but slowly as I read on, the story rubbed off on me. The end was what I like because Hanbin was so sweet and Hayi was so fragile and he just held her and omfg, yes Hanbin yes just hold her like that and never let her go. Then the ending came and “just like that, there were three.” Lmao, ARE YOU KIDDING ME. That is how you get my feels bursting. Forever love the golden trio. Great job.

TOTAL: 94/100