WRITTEN NOSTALGIA
By: thunderingclouds

TITLE: 5

I was honestly a little skeptical at first because I didn’t see how the title connected to the story. But then as I read further, I understood. It was very bittersweet, the story that is. And the title is the whole story, the title is Sehun thinking of everything that reminded him of Amber, of them. The title fits it perfectly.

DESCRIPTION: 5

Your description was spot on. It gave a hint to what the story was all about or to what you were going to write. I liked the description a lot, it was short and simple and to the point and absolutely precise. I really liked it because it had my attention too, it had me from the very moment I read it.

GRAMMAR: 17

There were a few mistakes, some small ones but they were noticeable because I noticed them and it made me think “what a shame.” Your story is really wonderful and near to perfection if you had just read through and changed the grammatical mistakes present in some sentences and lines. But other than those small, minor mistakes, I think you have a good vocabulary and your words mesh together really well.

PLOT: 29

I think most of the things were in order, you revealed everything in only a short amount of words because a story like that isn’t easy to write in just a few lines and sentences and you did great packing everything together in a oneshot, really, but I don’t know. I just feel like something was missing. I feel as if something is pulling me back from giving you the perfect score. I know something is missing from the story and it’s great already really, but I don’t know. It’s short and rushed a little, for me, and maybe that’s it. But it is still, overall, wonderful.

CHARACTERIZATION: 10

I loved Sehun mopping around, seriously. Usually, I scoff at characters who think they have no life now just because someone broke up with them like ugh, no. But I don’t know why when Sehun did it, when he was reminiscing about everything, it was sweet and very cute I liked him, plus I could really relate to Sehun because little secret, I’m a bit heartbroken too. Anyway, I liked Amber also and she was so courageous and headstrong that I could see why Sehun fell for her. Great job on them!

WRITING STYLE: 9

Your writing style is beyond me! Wow, I love it. You have to keep writing and working on it because as mentioned, you had some grammatical mistakes here and there, but with a little more practice your already beautiful writing will become even more beautiful in the future. Your writing is really good, wow, I’m honored to have judged your story with your amazing writing. (The turn off there was you didn’t put periods or commas at the end of dialogues, but your writing is very descriptive and it’s still absolutely great!)

RELEVANCE TO THE PROMPT: 10 
I was worried in this part because I didn’t get to see the relevance of your prompt to the story, but in the end, I did and I was glad because it was beautiful. You made the prompt alive and there are not enough synonyms for “amazing” for me to use right now to describe your story and how you made the prompt yours. (I liked how you mentioned Boracay btw since I’m from the Philippines and I love going to Boracay every time)

OVERALL ENJOYMENT: 10

I was about to cry at the very end. That’s how beautiful it was. I can’t even with your story. Just know that I indeed enjoyed it very much and thank you so much for that and for this absolutely lovely story. 

TOTAL: 95/100