Men Vs. Women
NICKNAMES
If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
***** 60 FACTS ABOUT BOYS THAT GIRLS SHOULD KNOW!!!!!
I laughed so hard when I read this and I just had to share it
1. Guys hate s even though they have with them!
2. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.
3. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're going to say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.
5. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile when they’re attracted to them
6. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.
7. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're going for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.
8. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.
9. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.
10. Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.
11. Guys get jealous easily.
12. Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.
13. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never mind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.
14. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
15. Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.
16. Girls are guys' weaknesses.
17. Guys are very open about themselves.
18. It's good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don't let him wait too long.
19. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
20. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
21. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
22. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.
23. Guys will brag about anything.
24. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot.
25. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.
26. Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.
27. Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.
28. Try to be as straightforward as possible.
29. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's
too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be mature and grown up.
30. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.
31. No matter how much guys talk about asses and s, personality is key.
32. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
33. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.
34. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.
35. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.
36. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."
37. Guys don't really have final decisions.
38. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.
39. If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.
40. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.
41. Guys like femininity not feebleness.
42. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
43. A guy has more problems than you can see with your eyes.
44. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.
45. Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.
46. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.
47. Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.
48. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.
49. A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.
50. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.
51. Not all guys are s. Just because ONE is a jackass doesn’t mean he represents ALL of us.
52. We don't like girls who are too skinny.
53. We love it when girls talk about there .
54. Always make sure you know what kind of stuff your getting into before making out with a guy , like whether it's a one time deal or not .
55. Believe it or not shy guys are the most easiest to talk to. It may not seem right but trust me they will start opening up like books after you just ask them questions about their lives and unnoticeable tell them about yours.
56. When a guy hits your it means that he wants you ually.
57. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs.
58. Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it, it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts.
59. Guys will test the waters to see how far they can get with you. Even if he doesn't intend to it will happen. Know how far it is you want to let him go and he will respect that after you let him know a couple times.
60. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.
Source: http://www.fanpop.com/spots/random/articles/30884/title/60-things-girls-need-know-about-guys
******60 Things Guys Should Know About Girls !!!
1) For all we talk about how hot guys are. We mostly care about there personality. Though a hot body is a plus
2) We are just as shy as you are about relationships
3) Many of us don't let you see us cry, unless we want you to comfort us
4) We like dropping small flirts, to see if you are interested. But we will later deny it or make it into a joke
5) Most of us prefer to be call beautiful than hot or y. But not all of us
6) We only wear mini skirts, tank tops and skimpy cloths for you (unless it's REALLY REALLY hot outside). So if you don't like what we wear say something likely look really nice today, but you know...I think I like you in jeans better'
7) We travel in groups for one of two reasons 1) because we want to share some form of gossip with each other or get advice on something 2) B/c we don't want to get caught by ourselves with you because we won't know what to say and are afraid we'll make a fool of ourselves
8) MOST girls spend about 15% of the time thinking about specific guys, 20% thinking of guys in general, 25% thinking of how to get guys to notice us and what to say when we do, 30% of the time TALKING about guys (even if someone else isn't listening), and 10% of the time doing something else
9) Girls automatically assume that all guys are ***** and only want to get into our pants until you prove otherwise (and even then some small part of us still thinks that)
10) Most girls are under the impression that guys only want skinny 'hot' girls
11) Most girls enjoy being paraded around once in awhile in front of your friends. We enjoy having you show us off to your friends, kind of like, 'Hey, look at my hot girlfriend! Aren't you jealous?" But we don't enjoy being nothing but a trophy girl
12) Nicknames like "Babe, or darling" are safe to call just about any girl. But beware of "Princess or Angel". Some girls will take offense to this thinking you are calling them to innocent or incapable of taking care of themselves.
13) Speaking of nicknames, almost every girl has ONE nickname that they just love to be called
14) Most girls will drop lots of hints to tell you that they like you, but won't come right out and say" I like you" or "I love you". If you think they like you, there is a good chance they do.
15) Scenario time! -You like a girl named Ashley, Ashley has a friend named Brenda. Brenda comes up you in the hall and asks "Do you like Ashley?"
More often than not in this scenario Ashley asked Brenda to ask you because she is to shy to ask you herself. And even if she didn't the first thing Brenda is going to do with your answer is tell Ashley. Now you are thinking "WHAT!? NO!! DON"T TELL HER THAT!!!" but in reality, this is a good thing. Because there is a good chance she already likes you. And if she doesn't, she will now be looking at you in a different way, and let me tell you. It's a lot easier to fall for a guy if you already know they like you. So its safe. So go ahead and tell Brenda that you like Ashley. Take a chance.
16) Girls hate it when guys say erted things.
17) Girls love to feel special, even though they might not show it
18) Girls talk about everything with their girl friends. So unless you tell us not to tell them about something, they WILL know about it within 3 days. And if you are the girl's boyfriend, that means, you're possibly 90% of their conversation. And believe me, trash talking takes up most of it, unless you're a Greek god, which you're not...
19) Girls hate guys with bad hygiene.
20) Girls love it when a guy pulls them close by the waist
21) Most girls like a guy that will willing dance with them, even if he doesn't know how
22) Usually, when a girl is sarcastically mean to you, it means they're attracted to you, but are afraid that they'll be showing too much
23) A kiss on the hand with the right timing can be a REAL TURN-ON
24) Some girls can think about their crushes for hours straight. No exaggeration
25) When a guy says something really sentimental, girls will remember it forever
26) Girls get embarrassed easily, even if guys don't know what the hell just happened.
27) Girls daydream about their crushes ALL the time. They just don't show it.
28) When a girl is upset and wants you to listen, she wants you to listen. She doesn't need you to fix it or tell her how to. She just wants you to listen.
29) When a girl is crying, she feels a lot safer if you pull her close and tell her that everything is going to be all right. And more likely than not, it will endear them to you more than anything else.
30) Girls love it when guys say their name
31) Girls love confidence
32) When a girl cooks for you, you know you mean a lot to her
33) Girls hate it when other girls flirt. Yet they flirt themselves too. Ah, the beauty of irony
34) We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.
35) Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.
36) Size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that want relationships.
37) No matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe to us. Not because we don't like your taste in women, because believe me WE do! its just that...we don't want to have to wonder if she is better than us. And if she is a hoe, we are better. So it makes things simple for us.
38) We are self-conscious by nature; we can't help it. But we CAN try and hide it.
39) Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body, it is not. Though we sometimes will tell you it is.
40) As far as you are concerned, we are beautiful at all times, and don't tell us different, unless you make it sound like a compliment (even if it isn't) Like, "You were really pretty yesterday when you wore -insert clothing/accessory here-, I think you should wear that more often"
41) Whatever you do, don't just show up at our house unexpected or at least without ringing the door bell...we run around in our underwear just like you do. And no matter how much you would like to see that, we will likely never talk to you again
42) DON'T CHEAT ON US. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and you will be dirt.
43) We want you to beware of every male relative and all guy friends. All of them would kick your at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat. We just don't want you to be too obvious.
44) We enjoy being kissed by you in front of your friends. It makes us feel like you care a lot about us.
45) You don't have PMS; so don't act like you know what it's like. Don't try to understand...believe me you never will.
46) Violent statements like "If that guy keeps looking at you, I'm going to tear his head off" are appealing
47) We don't want you to say you love us if you don't mean it
48) We love it when you make eye contact with us while we talk.
49) Most girls are afraid of losing our independence to guys (for some unknown reason)
50) If you ask a girl out directly, more likely than not, she will say yes to you. Even if she only has lukewarm feelings for you, because it will give her the chance to get to know you better and get to like you even more.
51) Most girls love it when guys ask them for advice.
52) Girls like it when you tell us what you are thinking, even if you don't understand it yourself
53) After you've been dating for a while, realize that we really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, privilege and control than you would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond
54) There is nothing wrong with being attentive and sensitive. However, this behavior can be carried too far. You don't have to hang on our every word or give in to our every whim. The thrill of the chase doesn't end after the first successful pick-up line. If you don't present us with some minor challenges, we're likely to get bored, or worse, feel that you're creepy and obsessive.
55) Variety is the spice of life. There are patterns underlying what your woman says she likes and doesn't like. It would benefit you far more to try and discern the nature of these than to repeat everything she admits to enjoying until she no longer does
56) Most men think the chase ends once they have us, but truly it has only just began.You must work even harder to keep us then you do you earn us. We not some trophy you can earn,put on a shelf and admire. You have to care for us like the living human beings we are.(see 54)
57)WHEN WE SAY NO ITS NO, SO STOP ASKING!!!
58)If someone flirts with you, its a complement. If you're not interested, accept it but dont flirt back.
59)The woman in your life needs to hear how you feel about her, and often. Tell her now
60)All women are complicated, and it is doubtful any man will ever fully be able to understand us.But we know that, so its going to be ok.
Source: http://www.fanpop.com/spots/random/articles/43615/title/60-things-guys-should-know-about-girls
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I really loved this article that's why I shared it with you guys! Plus, I'm so into male and female differences lately that's why I browsed for this kind of article. Hope you had fun reading it! <3
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