It feels like I just can't handle sh*t anymore. Breaking a little, yes. 

I'm saying that I'm fine, but I'm not. So much obligations and when I stop thinking about one, another one comes up. I need to swim because of training-diary, but don't have time.  

It feels like I don't really have control and it's bad. To feel like I have control, I turn to unhealthy options to cope with feelings and... Idk. I just want to disappear...