I have been looking around. It felt so empty. Why? Wasn't I in my own country? Somewhere that I communicate better. Somewhere everybody understand what I said. Somewhere I should call home. Indeed, it was my home. I was born in this country. It is my hometown. But why I still feeling empty!

 

"Yixing-ah, tomorrow your flight is at 9.30am. Get ready."

Manager hyung reminded me. Yes, hyung. I answered. 

I was going to leave them again. Sigh.

 

I have been really tired recently. Filming, photoshooting, practicing, recording, flying, composing and countless jobs. I wondered myself, how could I survived all of these? Ahh, I just want to show the world, I really want to do this. It was my choice after all. To become a celebrity, to show my talents, to show the beauty in my dance moves, to produce good songs for people to listen and feel.

 

"Hyung, why I can't join the concert?"

"Your schedule clashes with concert dates. It's okay. You just do your jobs here." i was in china at that time.

"But-"

"Next time yixing. You have many more concert to attend."

"But its tokyo dome hyung. Maybe once in a lifetime. I can fix the schedu. We should try hyung. There must be ways to make it fit."

"Yixing ah. Why don't you just do your filming right now? You're busy here. It's okay to miss that concert. You will be there again. In the future."

"But hyung-"

 

 

 

I scrolled the screen. Why people being so careless? Reckless? 

They said what theu want to say. But they never know the truth. Why people being so heartless? I was sincere. I didn't mean to hurt anybody. I didn't mean to break my own promise.

But, they kept judging me. Am I a criminal? Am I deserve to be threat like that?

Once the leader left, I cried until I couldn't hold myself.

When that big gege left, I tried to support him regardless what ever he decided.

Whem that brother left, I don't really know what to say.

 

But my brothers, my another half, they also worried about me.

"Hyung, will you leave too?"

"Hyung, you will stay right?"

I just wanted to be happy with them too. But people doubt me. Why, why people are so mindless?

 

 

 

"Yixing-ge, its okay. You been working hard lately. Be strong, we love young."

Ahh, instead of me who should give a memorable birthday wish, he comforted me.

He always has been taking carr of me. He was so loud and looked like he cared about himself only. But he was the nicest brother tho.

 

 

"Yixing-ah, be strong. We are waiting for you. We are one right?" he kept chanting that words since we have been debut. Out of all people, he hurt the most. Even he hurt, he still kept going strong. Tried to smile like nothing happen. Ahh, I should have that spirit too. Then, I acted bubbly, 4D. No, that was not an acting. It was real. It was me. The leader friend inspired me.

 

 

 

Ahh I felt so tired. Too many thing to be carried. If I could, I wanted to lay on this road alone. Not even thinking of waking up. Heavy eyelids, limp muscles, weak legs, I just wanted to lay down on the ground.

 

But a hand suddenly jerked in front of my nose.

"Lay hyung, you're not alone." the guy offered a beautiful smile. His features look like lost puppy and barking all the time. But he has been a great companion.

"Thanks Baekhyun-ah." I grabbed his hand.

"Don't be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry with." another hand was trying to help me up.

 

There, 6 guys with beautiful smile waiting for me to rise. Rise and shine with them.

 

Lay hyung, no matter what people say, you wont be leaving right? You have nothing to be sorry. We all love you.