I make this because i inspired by creamysmiles's blog. I started upset and sad if i with them especially when we're talking about task and anything. So, i'm in the college now. 7th semester and started working on a proposal for a final project.

First, We're 7 people. In the 3rd semester we began to disintegrate. I with a beautiful girl and a girl who innocent. While the Other 3 joined together and the last one choose to join friends in the organization that she follow.

In 5th semester, 2 of 3 from 'the other 3' ranging separated from one girl because that girl was starting to show bossy attitude that can not be tolerated anymore. Call them the leaders because every conversation most of those who lead. While I and 2 others began to close with a girl who is very diligent.

At the end of the 5th semester we decided to get together. Initially I felt normal when joined them in 6th semester.

But somehow, every time we got a difficult task, began to be indifferent and unwilling to help me. I began to tell my mom, and she said maybe they thought I was capable of because I have a high score in the 5th semester so that they do not want to help. My mother also said the possibility that they were jealous. Because before I never shows the development of score very rapidly.

As well as in the 7th semester of this. They like the thought that since I got the highest score of the six of us, I ruled out. They are putting the beautiful girl that famous for royal against a friend. The beauty is friend that i loved and cared. She's so pretty and so royal. My family and her family had known each other when his mother died. My family also thinks she's a good kid and love her than the other. Overall, I was with a sincere heart to say that she is my best friend. While the innocent is really plain. Although he was innocent, he's often in joking with by the leaders and the dilligent. The beauty, the innocent and i take a bus to go to college.

The leaders are the smart girl and the funny girl. The smart girl said smart because she is easy to remember what was said by the lecturer and clever to explain back to us about the material being taught lecturers. While the funny, not just a humorous person but also a sharp-mouthed. If a comedian, she was a sharp-mouthed comedian. While the diligent, he was the type of person who has a lot of rules. She cant do this, shouldnt do that. A lot of which she should not eat or do because the rules in her family. She also sometimes gives advice to you sound like a patronizing. I do not like it.

And. They always put the beauty first. when we wanted to hang out, the beautiful always get the very first vehicle lift. The beautiful aided doing his job while I had to repeatedly ask for help, even until my eyes glazed, then they help me. The diligent also began to dare to say that I'm a cheapskate because I rarely want to join them when hang out. I got to thinking, what dose a person is stingy because he would rarely invited anywhere?

I admit I was a very idealistic. when I feel that hang out somewhere is a waste of money and time, they thought I was the one who was not good at having fun. while, when they want to buy something, or they have a little pocket money, they start complaining. honestly I say, I am a very fun-loving. but sometimes, when I want to have fun with them, often ending with badmood because they ignored me and deify beauty. also, i dont like when they're wanted to hang out, they want to bring their boyfriend.

Among the six of us, 3 have and 3 havent boyfriend. Always, each wants to hang out to a new place (except for go to the new cafe) they would invite their boyfriend. To be honest, I was not comfortable. I just wanted to hang out with them. I want to hang out with 'girls time' not 'girls with her boyfriend'. really very not independent.

In retrospect, I could have spent the money to 300 thousand rupiah a day when I really want it. And my way of having fun is not to hang out in a new eating place but looking for a book. I guess they think it is boring. Often all I wanted to go buy something and alone, they are considered as if I was crazy for spending alone and using public transport. When I think, that's interesting. Very exciting. You do not need to think of other people who come shopping with you being tired or not, because I love to go shopping around the store so many times that I decided to buy anything or sick.

Last friday, the diligent once said 'if I were you, I would still go in for a lecturer who was very difficult to predict'. While she did not know how difficult the task presentations are given. Then after that, she wanted to inform something I do not want to hear. She said 'You know, the bossy scores of lecturers A blabla etc etc'. And you need to know, the bossy and I have the same supervisor and the bossy also have a close relationship with one of the lecturers.

So I was not surprised that the bossy get score first. And surprisingly, with-know-everything-gestures, the diligently come to me, give information without care I'm stressed thinking about work on the presentation. The diligent angry with me when I say I do not care. I admit, I use a high tone. but, when the diligent getting angry at me, all my friends even defend it. None tried to explain why I dont like it. With irritated , i'm apologized. 'I'm sorry. I do not mean to say rude. accept it or not, I apologize. ' then I left.

I started to thinking. When i angry with someone or someone in our group nobody defend me. I'm always beside. The fact, when i vent to the innocent, she said some words. We ruled out.

My story is absurd. I know. But that i wanna say is 'if I'm guilty of all this my attitude?'. What should i do? and yeah.. sorry for my bad english. thank you ♥