Should I Give Up?
All she want is to make her parents proud. She tried REAL hard to study and she even makes many reviewers and notes. They might not see it but the truth is she really did give her best in everything she does. Well, what can she do? They just see the girl that slacks off and just do internet surfing and stuff. They never see the girl that tried her best just to make others see that she can do it, the girl who just wants to make her parents proud of her again, the girl whom everyone thought is strong and easy-going, the girl whom they thought that she's always happy and doesn't have problems.
She who helps others solve their problems and make them happy and yet not one person that she considers her friend and family notices the pain in her eyes, the fake smiles and that masks she wears whenever she goes out. She can only put up a smile for everyone so that they don't worry about her. She always put others first before her happiness. But in truth, she just want th people around her to notice her sadness, the pain that she is going through and her longing for comfort. That maybe someday or sometime one person says to her that everything will be okay and that she doesn't need to worry anymore. She doesn't want to be misunderstood again for her actions. She's so tired of hearing those degrading and insulting words thrown at her.
She's tired of crying every night and being disappointed at herself.She just want the pain to go away. She just want everything to go back to the things they were. People makes mistakes and I'm one of them. Why can't they see that I'm doing my best? Perhaps they think that I'm not so serious about it and they think I'm just slacking off. It hurts you know, the people I expect to cheer me on turns out to be the people who brings me down.
Sometimes I just want to give up. I'm thinking that if I would just leave they would be much happier 'coz you know there is always my sister who makes more achievements than mine and studies way better than me and is sweet to them and always makes them proud while me all I do is disappinted them. What can the get from a useless and pathetic daughter like me? They wouldn't be bothered much If I disappeared would they? Because I always make them angry and upset, would they care for me?I admit I'm not that much showy of my feeling towards others but that doesn't mean that I don't love them.
My sisters way better than me so it wouldn't be much of a loss If I disappeared, they still have another daughter that would always make them proud not like me that would just ruin everything. :(
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