" I like you," you said, " I really really really like you, I like you so much that it scares me."

I couldn't reply you; I didn't have the courage to. Darting my eyes to the ground, I bit hard on my lower lip, desperately searching for the words to say. But despite my eloquence, I couldn't even form an apt sentence in my mind. Contrite and compunction rose inside of me and washed over me like a physical tide, drowning me in its wake. I couldn't say anything or do anything, all I could do was stand there, avoiding your eyes. 

The vulnerability you displayed was real; you weren't like the others who were simply casual and superficial in their confession. The pain in your brown orbs, the weakness in your voice and the hopelessness in your actions hunted me like a ghost. I wanted to reach out to you, and comforted you like how i normally would when you got beaten up, but I couldn't. 

I used to think your best friend falling for you was utterly cliché; it never existed in real life and only happened in novels where happily ever afters existed. I used to scoff at it, laugh at it and criticise the female protagonist over her actions. Never had I,  expect myself to be in this situation. 

The hopelessness was raw and it gnawed at my heart. I had so carelessly broken your heart hours ago by telling you not to fall for me; how heartless could I be? How could I be that dense? How could I've not realised you'd long fallen for me? Everyone around me realised, except me, so the joke was on me.

Words were potent, how could I've never realise that. A tongue had no bones but it could break even more hearts than any other organ. My mother was right, my teasing nature was going to hurt me someday. You'll never want to hurt your close friend, it's a carnal sin, yet I did. It feels as if a metaphorical cross was nailed to my back and nothing could exonerate my actions.

You ran a hand through your hair, groaning exasperatedly. " I shouldn't have confessed last night." You reach out and slammed your hand against the buttons of the lift, jamming it at the sixth floor. " this," you whispered, turning to stare at my eyes, " we need to talk."

You dragged me by my wrists to the stairwell and stood opposite me. We stood there in complete silence, staring at each other with words lingering on the tip of our tongues. I waited for you to speak but you didn't. Unable to stand the silence any longer, I started climbing up the stairs and you followed after me.

After 10 flights of stairs, you stopped and started to speak. " I really like you." I stopped and held my breath, deliberating my next move. You kept quiet and slowly,  I turned around to face you, my eyes still not meeting yours. You seem contented with the fact that I could face you and, you continued. " I never felt this strongly for anyone before, that feeling, it's eating me from inside out. I can't picture myself with anyone but you when we leave school. I really like you. I can already picture you beside me when I wake up. I know you don't like me but I really really like you. Please, give me a chance. You're the most realistic thing that happened to me in my 16 years of existence."

I stayed silent, leaning against the wall for support as I shifted my weight awkwardly from One foot to the other. "  When did this start?" I asked, in a voice close to a whisper, meeting your eyes for the first time since the confession.

" I don't know." You answered, " we started being friends in August and I think it started from there. Initially I was very annoyed with you, because you kept pushing me past my limits when studying and I wasn't even pushing myself. There I guess it I started falling for you when you never gave up on me and continuously stayed beside me, encouraging me and listening to me. But then, you friend zoned me and you broke my heart. I wasn't even thinking last night, I was so tired when I confessed. I'm so sorry. I know you don't want to be in a relationship now so I'm not going to do anything or chase you. But, please, no, do you think you can give me a chance."

My throat became dry as I drank in every word you said; I bit on my lower lip and took in a breath of air. " even if I didn't tell it straight to your face, isn't it an unspoken thing?" I paused for a moment, relishing the cool evening breeze blowing against my skin. " it's basically impossible between us. Your father is my sister's principal and our families have been at logger heads. It's too complicated.  "

A look of annoyance flashed across your face. " Your sister would graduate after 4 years. It's not forever. Plus don't your mom want to transfer her to your school? "

" But still, " I replied, hugging the jacket in my hand closer to myself, " it's too complicated. And even if she wasn't your father's student, it's too complicated. And, I'm against her going to my school, the culture there is too superficial and materialistic. Not to mention, competitive;  the teachers are good but the students are another issue."

" that's true." You answered absently, reminiscing about your first heartbreak from a girl in my school.

I turned my head away and stared at my white-washed canvas shoes, studying the stains on it as I spoke; it was easier this way, I didn't have to meet your eyes. " If, my sister wasn't your father's student and if our family were never at logger heads, you might stand a chance. But even if I ignored the situation and said yes, how long would it last? We're only 16, we're still young and immature, we've a whole life in front of us. How long would it last? I like the dynamics of our friendship and I want you in my life as a friend, I can't picture you anymore than that."

You stared at my eyes, pained and hurting, sinking to the ground. " I understand, " you whispered, running a hand through your hair, ' but tell me, do I stand a chance?"

I knew you were going to ask me that, I knew you too well to predict your moves. I merely shrugged, smiling bitterly. " Maybe not now, or a year later; instead maybe in future, when we are older and more mature, maybe yes." I wanted to reach out to you, apologise repeatedly and make you feel better; I couldn't. All I could do, was stand against the wall and stare at you silently, with numerous apologise lingering at the back of my mind. " Nothing is impossible, everyone has a chance."

"You aren't lying to me, are you?" You asked cynically,  your demons seeping out again . "After all, you have so many other options as compared to me." And, you started berating yourself.

Shaking my head, I held your gaze and replied with a firm no. "You know me, " I said, " I don't make empty promises or sweeping statement's. I mean it. Because you don't know what the future holds." I glanced down at my watch, marking the time. I was torn between finishing our conversation or going for tuition. Time wasn't on our side. Why did you even confess now? Why of all times, days before our major papers?

" Then I'll wait for you." You said, raising to your feet. " I'll seriously wait for you. Maybe after NS or something but I'll wait for you. But I'm scared you'll leave, you'll find someone better and the forget about me.. "

You looked like a lost child, lost and confused in the dynamics of the world. " I'll always be here. Even if I leave, I'll always remember you and keep in touch with you.  I don't have a lot of friends."

My heart was breaking as I watched you crumbling in front of me. No words could describe my guilt; so this was what it meant by being speechless, it was the feeling of having many things to say but not being able to say anything. Maybe if I hadn't been so dense and realised it earlier, I could have stopped you from falling too deeply and saved you the heartache. 

I should have realised. No guy would keep me company pass midnight on a school day,  after I got into a fight with my mom; no guy would sneak out from his house to teach me math at 1am in the morning, the day before a paper. And, no guy would constantly reassure me when I was feeling down for underperforming academically. I should have realised. It was only when I saw you, down on your knees, broken then did I fit the pieces of he puzzle together.

" So I do stand a chance? "

I nodded, " have I ever lied to you? I'm pretty sure I'm the most straightforward person you'd met, I don't sugarcoat my words."

" Then I'm really going to wait for you." 

I wanted to tell you not to but I kept silent, unable to see you shatter further into pieces. I couldn't see you more than a platonic partner; maybe as time passes by, you feelings for me would fade and maybe one day we can laugh over it over a cup of coffee. I could only hope.

I glanced down at my watch and realised I was running out of time. You looked as if you had something to say but I cut you in.

" I've to leave." I said curtly, " I've a class in 10 minutes and I still need to shower. "

Your eyes dropped immediately to the ground. " oh," you replied laconically, " I'm sorry for holding you back."

"Sorry." I apologise for the umpteen time that day. I realised you could always say sorry but the real apology was when you see the sadness in their eyes and the pain in their eyes and, you realise you have hurt them as much as you're hurting. I turned and walk up the stairs, stopping after a few steps. Turning back, I glanced at you and smiled weakly. "Promise me something."

You hummed in response, " what?"

"Don't let this affect your performance during the exams. Think about it later, we seriously need to talk to clear the air between us. We'll continue this after your papers are over."

With that, I left, not turning back once.

 I wanted to run away but I knew, I could run but I could not hide because, no matter where I ran, you'll always find me as I was your neighbour.