You know what? I'll tell you a story of how the love feels in your heart. 

It's not a fairy tale like on the fanfic I had wrote or read. It's like being on a roller coaster or doing a bungee jumping without a safety rope. 

Hold tight or you'll die falling.

I was looking for how the being in love feels like, feeling something churning and do all the ing forgiveness or take all the hurt just to have the one you love.

I thought I find it when I was 25. Some mistakes, and I'm done.

Then I thought I found it again on my late 28. Turns out it just a bunch of fake dream.

And I met her, the one I thought I will never love. Now she's completely turn my world upside down. 

I hurt her, once. And she hurt me, repeatedly.

The me a few years back will leave for good, using my own logic and thinking that I deserve more than a scar on my heart. But then, I'm being as stupid as the characters on fanfiction that people's wrote.

I stayed, because I love her.
I ing love her, without any safety net.
I wanted her to stay.
I wanted her to be mine, as long as it took.
I wanted her to be fine, whatever it takes.

As stupid as it sounds, even if she wanted to proof how much I ing love her by stabbing a knife on my chest... Then she might ing do it and I'll be happy to let her do it. Just so she knows that its actually bleed for her.

Not for anybody else.

How come I'm being as cheesy as my own characters?

I cried, I smiled.
I'm happy, very.
I hurt, like, really.
But I stayed.

Sometimes I'm thinking of leaving, done with everything. Wait for a minute and I see her picture, I just couldn't do it.

She's precious. I wanted her to know that.
She's worth it. I wanted her to see that.
She's a diamond. I wanted her to feel that.

I'm become to cheesy, and ing clueless. When she hurt me, I just couldn't see myself without her.

Look, I'm loving her this bad, this hard. If she's too blind to see it, at least I'm die trying.

I wanted to leave, but my heart just won't listen to me. It tells me that she's belong to me, she's belong in my arms, she's belong with me.

Not anybody else.

No one in this world can love her the way I do. I dare you. No one.

And if to save her life, I have to put a knife on my chest... I will.
It hurt, a lot, I know.

But, it doesn't hurt as much as seeing her miserable or desperate.

She hurt me, also, I know.

And I still stayed, call me stupid. I just love her so ing much.

I'm not gonna leaving, not, unless I see her fine and happy without me.

Stupid? Yes. But, that's how I love.

I just know it that I can love someone this hard, for her.

PS: Hey you little motherer, I love you, really. So much.