I Seriously Don't Know Anymore...
I honestly don't know anymore.
Today, it felt like my head was a ball of string and it kept getting tied up. No, it still is.
I've noticed, and even my new friend and my mum have noticed, that I'm not my usual self.
I mean sure, I'm a very quiet person in real life. Seriously, I don't say much in general.
But today I don't even feel like myself. I don't even want to look at people, talk to people, eat food,
sleep, smile or laugh. I've also been stressed recently (I guess). It just feels like I have a million things
to do and no time to do them. I have no free time anymore. I'm always rushing in the morning, even if I
get up early. Even if I were to sleep a full 24 hours, I would still be tired. My mum says how happier she is.
And I feel guilty that it's the opposite for me.
I feel guilty that I'm sad because she goes to work early and comes home early, which means I never have
time to myself. I shouldn't feel like this, I feel like I'm being selfish.
I don't want to tell people any of this because it's all just stupid things.
I don't think I'll pass my A-Levels either. Spanish is so hard. I did it last year and I'm so used to having
time to do things, and it all feels so rushed. I don't feel like I'm good at Media Studies either.
It just feels like everyone understands it better. Idk.
I don't know what I want to be or where I want to go. I'm scared of growing up.
I'm scared of not having my safety net I call my friends.
I'm just not sure what to do anymore.
I don't know.
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