I don't know where else I can take this awful feeling that was invading my mind.... It not that you should care about this, I just wanted to write to clear my mind.

This year.... has been the worst ever in my life.

First of all, I'm in my last year of high school, soon I will go to college... that's the problem. I don't know where to go. I'm living in Chile and The ' Universidad Catolica de Chile ' is one of the greatest universities in the whole Chile. My parents, especially my mom, really liked the idea that I ' wanted ' to go there to study Design. But... I'm not really sure to go. I wanted to go there because it's the best university, but I have this feeling that it won't suit me at all. This caused to much fights and arguments with my mom. 

This year, my grades aren't as great at it used to be.... I'm feeling tired every single day, my relationship with my friends are dropping to the ground, my grandma died a month ago, it seems that my lucky isn't helping me at all.

I feel so lonely when I'm in school, at home. I feel like I'm alone... My thoughts about my mom worrying about my future, my grades, about college... just stress me out. I don't want to be the villain in this story but I can't help but to feel pressured by my mom and the things she wants. She told me once that if I don't enter in a great college, eveyone in this society will look down at me. Maybe she's right, but I don't feel I will suit in the college she wants me to go...

I don't know what to do anymore.... every day I feel depressed. I just want to disappear from this world. I'm mentally broken and I'm thinking that I won't have a good future. My hopes are all gone....