it's already 3 P.M. I was got home as always there will not people at home well it's have just my cousin and granpa. Living here like you are living in hotels. No parents that welcome you like another kids. No home that make you feel like "home". No the quote "Home Sweet Home". Empty same like my needed for parents love. It's empty. Well you can say i am different when i am in school with i am in home. In school i am trying my best to make my friends smile, my teacher proud, make people comfortable with me beside that i am lonely, i am damaged, i am needed some hug but hug become strange. My parents hug make me flinch, make me scared, make me remember that i must be perfect, keep my family's name, make my remember my slave contracts. When i can't or failed to keep my so called promises, they are treat my like trash, silent me, no love, everyday you become pressure cause the invincible remind that tell you all your parent want. You may say fight against it. But i say it's not easy as you talk. I try to push people not give up so they don't be a failure like me. You know i really afraid to make mistake cause my parents take care of me, guide me, teach me to not become a failure. Is it wrong ??. I really want to be perfect. I really want, really. But why you must pressure me. Please i just want a love, just say you love me even if deep in your heart you don't want to. Just a hug is fine even it's fake. I need it. You say go for it girl it's your life. But they a part of my life. Don't say it like that. It's make me i already can't go for it. I really like to make people smile cause i am already taste it when i am crying the hardest. Please just releasing me from your chains. I am numb. I wish i can die this moment. If i am die i know for sure i will go to the hell, cause I don't be greatful hehe. It's hard really you can say i am just a kid yes i am. But is this kid don't deserve a little bit love. Why when i was still a baby why not you kill me??. You say you will be there when i need you, but you are not. You will go to help another people but not your child. I know i seems like spoiled brat. But how you feel it's going until now. I am 15 , so how do you think i feel. I feel no love mom, dad. I feel numb. Is your busy life not including me but only your works. Not just you the one that put the pressure on but my siblings too. Yes i am lonely and for JeVriendin Unnie i am sorry the problem that i say you are run away. That's time i just want you to be like another author that runaway and not come back. I respect you. I am. I say that not because i say you a coward or runaway author i just want you are not be like that. I just don't know me live here most of silent tortures I don't know until when i can pbe strong, brighter person or smiley person. I just you understand it. I am kid still i am kid mom, dad. I need you. I know i am a failure hehehe. Thanks until now you still got home alive from your works. Just remember even you ignore me and always busy just remember i waiting you guys got home with the promises that i will show you. I love you..........mom,dad. Please at least be home that all my wish this 15 years of my life.