So I just read this AMAZING ANALYSIS OF BIG BANG LOSER MV (I know it has LOTS of conspiracy theory but this one really WOW Fantastic Baby Blows My Mind), U can read it here...Whoever wrote this is simply amazing and I kinda pissed me off some ppl just dissed the writer, dun read it u don't like conspiracy theory coz I LOVE COSPIRACY THEORY

And yes, THESE LINES completely describe me RIGHT NOW

"I can’t listen to hopeful love songs anymore
You and me both 
We’re just sad clowns, tamed and scripted 
I’ve come too far 
I’M COMING HOME 
I wanna go back 
To when I was young"

"At some point I started looking at the ground more than the sky 
It’s hard even to breathe 
I hold out my hand 
But no one holds it 
I’m a  Loser, loner 
A coward who pretends to be tough 
A mean delinquent In the mirror, you’re JUST A LOSER 
A loner, a jackass covered in scars"

"Can’t stop this dangerous full speed run 
Now I have no interest, no fun anymore
I’m standing alone at the edge of a cliff 
I’m going home I wanna go back 
To how it was before  
At some point I’ve gotten scared of people’s eyes 
I’m sick of crying so I tried smiling"

If U know me since around 2009 when I began to write fics, I was full of hope and dream and sweet  stuff, probably some angst but still trying describing good things...Lately, nah, I just dunno, these few years had been harsh on me and maybe that's why I'm drifted to Big Bang, their lyrics are too REALISTIC and I have to admit my eternal bias D5SK (TVXQ Duo and JYJ) lyrics are kinda dreamy, I love them, I grow up with them, but maybe because all the pain and things I have experienced so far, I need something more real right now...I dun think I can live w/out D5SK songs in my life but right now, I need some Big Bang overdose to let everything go. It's like I've been trying to be good for so long, keep everything down and the BOOM, I need to go crazy for now...So that's the explanation how my MUSE has gone to these days...Well, whatever...I'm sick of playing fairy tale these days...