I am incredibly sorry for not updating for AGES.

Before any of you make an assumption that this is an announcement post about how I am going to give up writing.... IT'S NOT. Don't worry (or maybe you should be worried since you are not getting rid of me that easily) I am not going to give up my stories because once I am writing a story, I just can't leave it unfinished. I did once with one of my earliest fanfics and I still feel the guilt until now. :(

ANYWAYS. The reason I haven't been updating regularly (and probably won't be updating regularly) is...

1. College is starting. 
2. I have been feeling unreasonably sad/blue/down lately.
   I don't really know how to explain this but since last year, I have been having this dark, heavy feeling in my chest. I can't really explain what this dark, heavy feeling is but it feels like a mix between sadness and void. I tried EVERYTHING to distract myself from this feeling; clearing my desk, cleaning my room, long bath, watch some (obviously those only traumatize me even more), reading all those positivity posts, reading tons of fluff, pilates, yoga, swimming-- but nothing ever worked. WELL.. It worked for a while. I was distracted for a brief moment but when I am no longer distracted, that
   feeling came back even heavier than before. Quoting from Alec Lightwood... "It feels like millions of papercuts everyday"--- or maybe something along that line. UGH. Okay, so that's how I've been feeling. I still don't know how to deal with this kind of feeling but I am trying to work my way around it. 

Thank you for your understanding.