So, I was in dilemma this past few months. First, because I had fought with my friends, like FRIENDS that I already befriended over 10 years because of some pathetic reasons. Idk why they can't understand that world is spinning around they can't expected me to stick with them 24hours with different classes all the time and they even have a nerves to say that I have a new friends. LOL.

My new friends that they were talking about is the same friends back in primary school. So let me make it simple, We were like 12 people in one group since primary school and we still friends until we moved into secondary school and it all happened when we took a different classes when we 16 y/o last year. Four including me (Sya, Zya, Za and me) took an account class while the others (lets not mention the name bcs I kind of allergic of them after what they had done to us) took science class. We were all busy because of final exam and we rarely hanging out again with them who took science class. We, an account students had an extra class, tuition etc so of course we four stuck together like a glue. Expect we had a one new friend, Ca. She's not really new since we kind of hanging out with her after we entered secondary school so we kind of accept her in our group and let me tell you that we REALLY close after she came into our group. Even we're not close with them (science students) like always, I still make an effort to chat them, sent whatsapp messages when I'm not busy. But they said that they didn't like it. 

OKAY SO IT HAS HAPPENED LIKE REALLY HAPPENED, THIS YEAR. THIS ING 2015 WHEN I HAD SUPPOSED TO TAKE A FINAL EXAM. 

They kind of misunderstood us because of us rarely came to their class to talk and gossip like usual. Of course we busy this year. They were like witches. I meant it. Because when they were in front of us, they acted like nothing happened. But in SNS accounts, WOW THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT US, HARSH REMARKS, SARCASM AND EVERYTHING. The words they used like were punched straight through my face. Sometimes, I was thinking before I slept, I always thought. ''Am I the fault here? Am I wrong for not trying to fix the friendship back? Am I ego? Was what I'm doing this time not worth for our friendship?'' I always thinking about that. To say that I'm forget about them, no. I still remembered them, their birthdays, their favorite colors, foods, drinks. I even had our photos and videos I still kept till today. Maybe I was too ego. But I am hurt with their words. Fuhhhh. OKAY END OF FIRST PART. I already get over it ngehhhh

So the second is about my crush, my friend and my boyfriend's friend. 

Sue is the only one that I still talked and friend who was in science class till now. Because she's cool like that. I like her. Hahaha. But the problem is, her boyfriend. GAHH. okay, let make it simple.

I had a crush, a good looking and tough boy to be exact and he is a friend of my boyfriend's friend. So my crush (I have a cute nickname for him, Badul <3 and Sue's boyfriend, Chad (not a real name tho because his name are freaking hard to spell lol). Chad and Badul are buddies, gay buddies loLOlolOLLlol. 

Chad is my best friend even before he in relationship with Sue, so I kind of comfortable and love to be near him. He is funny, derps, dorks and happy go lucky type of boy. 

Then, Badul is one of the most handsome boy in our batch bcs he's mixed Arab blood. I'm not kidding, if I can I will put his picture here but nahhhh it will be a viral lol. I like him since last year, when he parked his motorcycle (the big and classy one and it called RR Yamaha something like that lol) next to mine since I also ride a motor to the school. That was the first time I saw and know him. He started first with a stupid question that I fell for. ''Are you form 6 student?'' and I dropped my helmet at that when he opened his mouth to ask that question. AWW HOW I WISHED THAT TIME FOR THE GROUND TO SWALLOW ME WHOLE. I'm so embarrassed to act that way aigoo. Then, he freaking laughed and took the helmet to give it to me and said. ''Just kidding, I know we in the same age.'' OH MY GOD. But after that, he moved to boarding school and I was heartbroken. LOLOLOLOL. So Chad the one who support me all the way until this year, Badul moved back into our school after spent half a year at boarding school. 

I was happy of course! But the rumors said he has many girls at the old school and he became a player. I'm not believe it at first because he looks so innocent and he rarely talk to girls. Even it true, I still like him. 

The problem is Chad. When I talked to him about Badul, he will snapped at me and glared at me everytime I said Badul's name. He even said that Badul already has a girlfriend and got engaged at early age. I asked around if that's true but its not. I kind of mad at Chad but oh well idc. His friends said that Chad kind of protective over me. Idk why. He has Sue already! I really appreciate when he sent me home everyday but i dont really like it because he has a girlfriend and afraid Badul will misunderstood us. Everyone said I'm naive because didn't notice the way Chad acting around me. So I kind of avoided him and Badul now. I WAS IN DEEP DILEMMA. I NEED HELP LIKE SRSLY. 

I don't know if Badul and Chad even like me. But the way Chad acting around me...Idk. And then Badul, he's so cold after he moved back here. I'm so confused right now.