BACKGROUND + Born in Beijing, China, as the only child of a Chinese-Korean mix couple, Pan Mei Shi (her Chinese name that she used all her life, that is) was a well-loved child. She was a kid full of dreams and imaginations, full of creative ideas and cute witty remarks, making her the precious jewel in the crowd. Born to a fashion-loving mother who had a sparkling bright career in the world of fashion magazines, little Mei Shi soon became attracted to the pretty pieces of fabrics from her mother's working desk, mesmerized by the variety of themes and poses the pretty models made live. It didn't take too long for her to fall in love with the world of modeling as she started to cutely try out numerous dresses from her closet and posing in front of her mirror (just imagine that image and try not to squeal). And since then, it had been a sort of default answer for her if ever anyone would question what her dream was: a model. modeling then became an ambition she fertilized and grew since she was 5. Lucky for her, with her mother's (and father's) support, she managed to actually get trained in one of China's most prestigious modeling agency at the age of 13. She had started modeling minor children shoots by then, though she still hasn't earned her spot in the professional model's building yet, but she was contented enough to know that someday, she would have a chance to become a professional model too.

Sadly, not all sweet dreams were perfect. Only a year after she got accepted to the modeling agency, Mei Shi's parents initiated a divorce. Mei Shi herself couldn't count the number of the sleepless nights she had after the court decided that she was to stay with her father in China while her mother would return to her homeland, Korea, promising that she will continue to support her child's modeling career and that she would pay her a visit anytime she could. Young Mei Shi had no other choice but to believe and continued her trials to reach for her dreams.

True to her words, at the age of late 15, the company had decided to promote Mei Shi to the rank of a rookie professional model. Oh how elated she was! She was now no child model anymore but a professional adult model. How great is that?! And even greater was it that she got to get promoted together with her best friend, Wu Yuan Yuan, that she had stayed best friends with even when she started to befriend some of the other senior models from the agency. One of the senior models she had came to know was a guy a few years older called Lu Han. Thanks to his handsome genes, perfect body, and outstanding modeling talents, he was as expected one of the fastest rising young model in the whole land, and though wasn't exactly a celebrity, he was treated like one (if you don't call a +70k membered fanclub a celebrity treatment I don't know what is). Mei Shi had grown comfortable with him as a gege ever since their first conversation, and had even considered the possibility of her having a male senior as a best friend. Though, not once did the thought of the both of them becoming lovers ever crossed her mind in any way. Sure, after choosing the path of a model since her childhood days, Mei Shi had learned that along the way of paving her success, she had to have a spotless records with zero scandals on sight, resulting in the girl to practically push away every single romantic offer that came to her; which wasn't too much actually, but oh well. So yes, Pan Mei Shi has NEVER let herself be drawn to any kinds of romantic infatuation and relationship, and she wasn't planning to do so with this Lu Han either. Screw every second Yuan Yuan or the other people would lecture her about how stupid she was for not grabbing to such a catch; Mei Shi was unshakable. Lu Han is just a senior she admired and a gege she felt comfortable with; that was all. Period. No Questions asked. The only thing Mei Shi wanted from Lu Han was his friendship; no more, no less. Same answers came from both sides.

Unfortunately, JUST as the two were starting to build the base for their relationship, something just HAD to happen.

Mei Shi hadn't been too sure of how it happened, but one day, as she was just getting back from the toilet (she had to use the emergency toilet at the back of the agency's building because the main one was currently under co), she came across Lu Han, all pale but his face was flushed red, his body trembling quite badly. This view had Mei Shi completely taken aback by concern. What was he doing in that lifeless, deserted part of the building, looking like he could faint just about any time now? Worriedly, Mei Shi decided to take a closer look, questioning the man whether he was alright or whether he needed any assistance that she would gladly lend for this nice gege. Mei Shi had failed to catch some mumbles that she assumed was his answer, and thus her concerns brought her a few steps closer to him. What she didn't know was that she had made the mistake of a lifetime. Because that was exactly when it happened. It just happened. So fast, so swift, so horrifying that Mei Shi's brain could only go numb in shock and confusion. In a matter of minutes only, he, the person who she had thought of as a friend, swiftly pinned her to the wall before pushing her inside a dark room where he forcefully had his way on her. And in no time, the treasured possession Mei Shi had guarded all this while with her life had been torn away from her body, leaving her in nothing more but a bloody, bruised, tearful, and broken mess. He her. He ing her. How could he? So all these while, she had only been used? His friendship... it was all no more than a certain bastard's paveway to fulfilling his disgusting lust?

Mei Shi was absolutely torn and broken. It was even a miracle that she managed to find her way home after it and told her father about what happened. Her father had been as furious as hell, wanting to just rip the rotten guy's body parts limb by limb; slowly, painfully, ruthlessly, just so he could make that son of a gun pay the sin he had done to his precious daughter. If only he knew who the culprit was. Mei Shi had refused to tell him about the man who had gotten her to such state of trauma and depression—much to her father's disappointment—but instead had only asked to be transferred to her mother's care immediately, refusing to live any minute longer in the disgusting, traumatic grounds of China. It hadn't been so difficult for her father to comply to her wishes, because although he didn't want to part with her, but right now, she needed to calm down, and the best way to do that was to send her as far away from China as possible. In no time at all, Mei Shi had already dumped all her modeling career in China, being too traumatized to step even a fingernail in her company building again, and was boarding the first plane she could find to South Korea, where her mother was. Mei Shi even took a brave decision in changing her name from 'Pan Mei Shi' into her Korean name, 'Ban Joo Wol', not wanting anyone from her past life to spot her here. Not after what had happened.

But of course, the drama wasn't over. a little bit over a month to her stay in Korea, Joo Wol had started to fell strange symptoms in her body: she was getting nausea every morning, every strong smell made her want to puke, she started to get picky about food, and she missed her period by 2 weeks or so. Joo Wol was driven by terror shortly after connecting all the dots to what in the world was happening. No. No no no no no no..... What if... she was *gulp* pregnant? No no no, it couldn't be. No, she CANNOT get pregnant. Not now, not like this, not with him. Please, no. please. That was what she prayed for: that she would NOT be what she feared she was. But some prayers aren't answered sometimes, and unfortunately, Joo Wol's was one of them. She indeed was pregnant. With the child of her . Goodness what kind of funny business was the heavens playing on her, huh? How could life be so cruel as to let her experience this? What had she done wrong?

Joo Wol was impeccably distressed over the matter; so much to the point she had to take stress and trauma therapies. It wasn't a one time or two time thing for her to consider suicide or abortion, but somehow, she hung on in there. She was 16, and pregnant, without the presence of the father of her child. How much more stress could she take?

Well, more than you can imagine.

It seemed like fate just LOVED playing dirty tricks on her. First the , and then the pregnancy, and now, after 32 weeks of whole pain and stress on her side, it was finally time for the little devil to be born to the world. Well, not exactly. The baby was born prematurely, as a result of Joo Wol's stress and various medications she had to take during her pregnancy. Worse yet, the baby was born a deaf-mute. Joo Wol didn't know what to feel when she was informed about this unfortunate condition of her baby girl (yes, she had a GIRL); all she knew was just she couldn't stop crying day and night, watching as her little angel had to live inside an incubator, tangled in countless pipes and cables sustaining her life. It was just too much to take. Just too much, and Joo Wol couldn't find her strength. She just couldn't. Unlike her baby who had been much stronger than Joo Wol herself could ever be, even in that condition. Seeing this, Joo Wol felt like she was slapped right across the face: her baby was strong even after all of this, so why couldn't she, as the mother, be strong as well? She HAD to try. She just had to. And so Joo Wol decided that she would be strong no matter what, for the sake of her baby. She would not surrender to anything, she will not give up on anything, including her career. Just because she had a baby at such young age, will it stop her from gaining success as a professional model? No. Hell no it wouldn't. So after she had recovered from the delivery, Joo Wol tried again. With the help of her mother, she applied to one of Korea's mid-class modeling agency, being careful not to go too international and meet her old colleagues along the way. Being careful not to meet him along the way. She got accepted, of course, with those resume and portfolio from her past experiences in China (that she specifically asked to be kept secret due to her current identity as Ban Joo Wol instead of Pan Mei Shi), what company in their right mind would turn her down? And soon enough, Joo Wol had graced the modeling world once more, as a new person and a new vibe to bring, she scored perfect attendance in numerous photoshoots, fashion shows, and even endorsements in only a matter of a couple of months. Well, can't blame her; her new company just couldn't strain themselves from showing her off. But Joo Wol didn't mind. Why would she? She loved her job. Well, despite all the flinch and flip her mental self made every time she would have to come in contact with a male, she still considered modeling as her number one passion, and thus she managed to overcome her fears quite quickly thanks to that scary determination of hers. Turning your job into a trauma therapy; only Joo Wol could think of that.

And so it was going pretty smoothly for Joo Wol, with all the upcoming projects and whatnots, she was pretty contented and came to be brave enough to say that she might just return to normal again in a few if this great work kept up. Too bad something had to come and destroy everything, though. Oh no, scratch that; I meant too bad SOMEONE had to come and destroy everything, though. Yes, Lu Han; who else could it be? Of course in times like these, HE was the one who just HAD to appear.

It was supposed to be a normal fashion shoot for Joo Wol, actually, and she was quite excited for it as well, because her best friend Yuan Yuan had called her beforehand and informed her that she would come to Korea especially to do this shoot as well. Joo Wol got so excited that she even decided to bring her daughter, So Won, along so she can meet her best friend. Unfortunately, Yuan Yuan had failed to mention that one certain gege was coming along as well: Lu Han. Well actually, we can't blame Yuan Yuan for this; she didn't know anything about what exactly happened between Joo Wol and Lu Han, after all, and so she was still thinking that the two were still on good terms; Joo Wol would be delighted to see her favorite gege again, wouldn't she? Ha ha. Nope. She was FAR from delighted. In fact, the first moment she recognized him, standing in front of her in person, Joo Wol's hell had broken loose. All the walls she had been building for the past few months have come tumbling down as every bit of her trauma came back in a storm far greater than she had expected. She could do nothing but to scream at him in terror and distress, demanding him to go away from her sight at once. She fainted afterwards, and so she couldn't recall what had happened after, but according to Yuan Yuan, her place in the photoshoot had been replaced with another model due to her condition, and her company (who had been hell worried about the wellbeing of their newest diamond) had decided that she could have a week break from work, assuming that she was too stressed out from the loads of jobs they had put on her shoulders. Joo Wol didn't mind. She needed the rest after what happened anyway. Too bad, the next information Yuan Yuan had informed her just HAD to make her day: Lu Han had seen his daughter.

PERSONALITY + ambitious—since she was only a small child, being strong willed and unshaken was already one of her natural traits. If she wants something, she will try her best to get it; that was little Joo Wol's life all about. She wouldn't care about anything that might get in her way, nor will she care and fear about getting herself hurt. Joo Wol was one hell of an ambitious kid and everyone acknowledges it. Once she sets a target, no matter what would happen to the world behind her, she will never stop before she would reach her goal. Same goes for when she started gaining interests in modeling. It was since she knew that modeling was something she wanted to do later in life that she started pestering her parents to take her to various modeling courses, competitions, and she even begged her mom to bring her to the actual photoshoot set for the magazine her mother was working for. Nobody could bend her wills and nobody ever dared to. Being ambitious and strong-willed had been one of her biggest strength since, and it was helping her a lot throughout her days. I mean, look at her; if it were other girls who had been at work by another model, they might already be too traumatized to even step a foot in a photo set ever again. But Joo Wol was different. With only her determination, she managed to overcome her fears and rise to where she is now.

brave—Joo Wol is a brave girl, I must say. Although no, I don't mean that she would go through a storm by herself or anything of the likes, but Joo Wol is a girl with a strong mentality. She wasn't a girl gifted with the power to conquer a storm in the ocean, but she was someone gifted with the talent to conquer the storm in her own heart. She was brave enough to take challenges and she was willing to try out new things if by doing so it would mean an improvement for herself. Joo Wol wasn't afraid of anything in daily basis; anything if it only involved her own safety. But when we get to the part where her loved ones were the ones threatened, Joo Wol would be the most panicky one. Though, she would not hesitate to catch a grenade for anyone she loves (*sings Grenade by Bruno Mars*).

protective—goes for anyone who she felt like loving. Joo Wol had had the tendency to fear being left alone, and so her sub-conscious have created a trait in her that might prevent anyone she loved from being taken away from her side, which was to make her brain produce extra adrenaline hormones when she felt like her loved ones were threatened in one way or another. In a few given circumstances, people would take her as an annoying possessive brat (which she was), but in truth, all she had wanted to do was to protect everything that she held dear. Like the case with her daughter So Won, for example: knowing that So Won's condition wasn't too well off, Joo Wol had been worrying her off every single thing, trying to protect her beloved So Won from every smallest danger like any over-loving mother would have. She didn't do it to be annoying, though; Joo Wol was merely a girl who could love just so much, that's all.

sensitive—I could swear, she wasn't this sensitive before. But it seemed like the trauma of being had taken its toll on her. It was normal, actually, if you'd just research the complications of a victim: being overly sensitive to touches, and getting angry over the slightest insults that might not even be intended to be an insult—especially when it came to anything regarding So Won. Let's just say that anything, just anything regarding So Won was like a big red button that would trigger her explosion; press it even with the slightest force, and Joo Wol might just erupt into tiny pieces in your face. Nobody knew if her over-sensitivity would stay with her for the rest of her and So Won's lives (although it seemed like it would), but I guess for now it just couldn't be helped for a girl who had been through as much as she did, even with her mental strength it was very hard to get out of everything unscathed and well, even Ban Joo Wol was a human, so I guess it was rather already the most minimum amount of damage that could be seen left in her after the incident.

possesive—there's a blurred line between 'protective' and 'possessive' in Joo Wol's dictionary, actually, making the two traits almost inseparable and impossible to differentiate. But they are different, alright, because as for her being so overly protective, she only did it because of love, because she cared. But for being possessive? I can't quite say the same. It was mostly because of her own selfish wishes of not wanting to lose anything in life that she had turned this way. Sure, being the ambitious person she was and after losing the one most precious possession she had ever owned and will not be able to own back again, Joo Wol had naturally grown a particular sense of possessiveness to anything that she had felt was hers. Take So Won for example: Joo Wol had been so overly possessive around the baby recently, did you notice? Well, duh, I knew she was protective of her ever since, but just recently, Joo Wol had gone crazy possessive on So Won, looking like she wouldn't even let anyone lay a finger on her precious daughter, literally. Now why is that? Well, the sole and biggest reason there is was because of the reappearance of the baby's father, Lu Han. Ever since Joo Wol found out that Lu Han was aware of So Won's existence, she had tried everything she could to prevent him from having even the slightest contact with So Won, afraid that So Won would grow any kind of attraction to him (which was unavoidable actually, seeing how he was her biological father, after all), or worse, from Lu Han finding out that So Won was actually his flesh and blood and that he would take her away from Joo Wol's embrace.

paranoid—having her trust broken once, Joo Wol now knew no safety. At least not in this world. Eversince that fateful day, she had started seeing the world in a new light: being overly cautious and feeling like everyone wanted to pounce and devour her alive. Couldn't blame her, though, with that 'being a victim' being her excuse for every flaw she had. Honestly, even I'm tired of her reasoning, but what can I do when everything she said was nothing but the truth? But still, she's a little bit overreacting, isn't she? I mean, we all know that this world is not safe, but that's where we find life to the core, right? If everything was all safe and the world is all peace and love then life would be SO boring, don't you think so? But apparently, miss Joo Wol here didn't seem to understand that unwritten rule, especially when it came to (again) her daughter. Like, okay, okay, I get that you're scared she would be harmed somehow or that she would be taken away from you somehow, but geez, chill, will ya?
(a.n: Joo Wol is 'brave' when it came to more mental things and also things that only involve her safety. She is 'paranoid' when it came to the more physical things and especially if it involved the safety of the people she loved, because there are cases where some victim of ual harassments could have a calm and rather undisturbed minds but their bodies reacted differently, moved by solely the consent of their sub-consciousness, such as trembling, crying, etc, and Joo Wol's case was one of them; I hope you're not confused)

Ban joowol

was born on March 9th, 1998 from a Chinese father and a Korean mother in beijing,. Currently 17 years old, she grew up in beijing thus making her fluent in mandarin and korean. Standing at 165cm for 52kg, Ban Joo Wol is notably known for looking like PaRK SU EUN or even sometimes GAM DA IN.

PERSONALITY + A good man who was wrongly misunderstood. That was what Lu Han was. Up until now, I'm just going to guess that your image of him would consist of things along the line of 'playboy', 'hypocrite', 'cruel', 'ruthless', 'untrustworthy', and even any harsher versions like '' or 'pedo-freak'. Yeah, whatever you say, anyone would have seen him only in the dark lights once they know what he did, right? Is there even a way to deny that? He ing an innocent teenage girl and got her pregnant; what was there left to argue about? But let me tell you that those 'dark sides' weren't the real him. The real Lu Han was not that much different from his publicly known 'nice guy' persona; it was just that unknown to everyone, he secretly hid his biggest flaw under his cheerful smiles and kind words. If only that flaw didn't exist, then I guess I can safely say that Lu Han was a nice guy overall. He was a complete gentleman: kind and caring; totally the perfect husband material. Although he wasn't exactly a saint, and his kindness has their limits also, it hasn't ever been heard about somebody talking badly about him; at least not in public or to other people; so you get how nice he is, right? Too bad though, he wasn't that nice to himself compared to how he was with other people. In fact, he could even be counted as a total jerk to himself: keeping his own pains alone, blaming himself for everything, gave up his rights too easily, punishing himself over and over again for things he thought were his fault, enclosing his dark sides inside his weak heart until it pained him so, always forcing himself to do things he truthfully couldn't do just so people wouldn't be impaired; that was what he was. Lu Han never knew love for his own self, always trying to think about others before himself; which was good, until you actually reach the point where Lu Han is right now. I mean, it isn't wrong to be selfless, but loving yourself is important too, is it not? Well, tell that to Lu Han and see if he'd listen to you. Tch.

RELATIONSHIP + It was quite a pleasant friendship between the two, if I must say. Like a normal gege-meimei relationship. Well, ‘was’ so not anymore. When they first met, followed by their relationship for a few months after, Lu Han had been the nicest gege Joo Wol had ever met in this lifetime and beyond. They had been pretty close (although it wasn’t close-close, but more like just-close… yeah you know what I mean)and had been pretty comfortable with each other, caring for one another like the platonic love they shared. And yes, buckets full of teasing had landed on their faces quite a few times, coming from their fellow models and close friends, picking on how comfortable they were with each other, especially considering the dense loveless rookie Pan Mei Shi was who we’re talking about way at the other end of the string. Usually, they would just end up catching each other’s gazes and then laugh their butts off like there was no tomorrow, successfully tickled just by the thought of getting together as a couple. Ah, those pleasant, sweet days. Sadly, those days are all over now. Of course, after that fateful unfortunate incident which caused Mei Shi to flee to South Korea secretly and then changing her name to Ban Joo Wol; neither of them could ever see each other in the same light again. When it had been nothing but peace and comfort before, all the pleasant feelings along with the memories have now been replaced by fear and terror from her end, and extreme guilt and self-blame from his. Even after a few weeks after their first meeting since that time, Joo Wol hadn’t been able to see even a limb of him without screaming hysterically like a terrorized lunatic she was, making the lump of guilt in Lu Han’s heart grow more and more severe by each raise of pitch in her voice. After seeing her again, truthfully, the only thing Lu Han had wanted to do was to beg for her forgiveness, where probably, with some miracle, she might have just understand his sincere truth. But after seeing her in such state, his courage sunk. Sure, he was relieved that she was better off than how he’d imagined her state would drown to and that she was good enough to pursue her dreams again, but with every glance at the girl, and now the child, his doubts has been drastically increasing. Will she forgive him? One look at her face was all it took for Lu Han to read aloud the big fat “NO WAY IN HELL” as her answer. And so inwardly, Lu han gave up. He had given up the chance for his forgiveness that he was so sure didn’t even exist in the first place. He had given up on her. But not on their child. I mean, like it or not, HE was the father; and regardless of how he became one, HE was So Won’s biological father and he knew it. Joo Wol’s denials weren’t going to change anything. Her pushing him back and ing his interactions with So Won wasn’t going to discourage him. He was determined to do so now. He wanted a chance with his daughter and he didn’t need Joo Wol’s approval for that. Call him irresponsible or whatever, but if he had known of the baby’s existence sooner, he was sure as hell would drop everything behind just to be with her. But Joo Wol wouldn’t understand any of this would she? Even after recovering from her terrors enough to face him, her doubts were greater than Mount Everest as she eyed him with suspicion of him possibly going to harm So Won in any way, or worse, take her away. She was blinded by her past trauma and the fear of losing her daughter that in her sight, everything Lu Han did was an unforgivable sin. She couldn’t see his good intentions let alone his sincerity. In which he wished for his dear life that she would do too someday, so that maybe… just maybe; he could finally dream of her forgiveness once again.

MEETING (31, December, 2013) + It was New Year's Eve. Joo Wol and a few of her model friends have agreed to meet with the other senior models from the agency to catch the New Year's fireworks together by a rooftop restaurant. Joo Wol (still called Mei Shi at the time), Yuan Yuan, and another girl named Huan Wei were the rookies in the house and were all having their first times in an actual off-work gathering with all the seniors, so in the end, while waiting for the fireworks to start, all the senior models present made the three rookies introduce themselves one by one, before asking them each ridiculous questions (that were mildly lewd in some parts but they all laughed it off with a "hey, they're still underaged! Don't say such things!") like "when was your first kiss?" and then "how was it? *wiggles eyebrows*", "how many boyfriends have you had?", "how many boys have you kissed?", "is there someone here who you want to get to know more?", and... yeah. They're all practically about love lives (which of course, had Yuan Yuan and Huan Wei put in tomato red faces while loveline-less Joo Wol walked out just casually, leaving the seniors perfectly disappointed for being unable to dig anything from this particular rookie). Lu Han had found her interesting then, being all disinterested in boys like that; that was how he made sure that she wouldn't pounce on him like any of those model trainees who just so happened to be his fans, and also had him assured of his safety if ever he'd come up to her for a little senior-rookie conversation. And thus he did so that night, earning her friendship and a page in her good books, and walking away with a wish that their friendship could last for life.

STORY + He could explain. He SWORE he could explain. He didn't want to her. He didn't want to hurt her. He loved her like his own little sister. He would do everything to protect her. But Why? Why did he do it? Why did he hurt her in the worst way possible and scarred her for life, why? He said he could explain. So the thing is that Lu Han wasn't the handsome angel from Heaven everyone thought he was. Everyone had a flaw, and so did Lu Han. Behind his angelic, innocent face, he hid a flaw so big he himself was dreadfully feared by what he could do and what he could become. Now now, don't think he's a werewolf or a vampire just yet, because I have something more realistic to tell you about him. He had a condition, okay. He has a case of hyperual disorder, meaning he could feel like having at any time, anywhere, and he could have a tendency of pouncing on the first living being he saw when he reached the of his uncontrollable lustful desires. Go Google it; the condition was real and it existed. Unfortunately, on him. Lu Han had been SUPER DUPER EXTRA careful with his life eversince he found out that he had this condition, and had managed to escape somewhere quiet and deserted to calm himself everytime the needs would strike. And thus, he had made a record in not letting anyone know about this condition let alone harm anyone in anyway. Unfortunately, Ban Joo Wol was a different story. His conditions had striked him quite badly at that time, and he had managed to find his way to the deserted janitor's closet way at the far end of the company's building to calm himself down. Who knew what bad luck had befallen him, but before he could enter the janitor's closet and close the door shut behind him, Joo Wol found him and asked him worriedly what's wrong since his face was as pale as that of a ghost's. Of course it paled even more when he realized it was her. He didn't want to hurt her. He wanted to tell her to run off before he could do anything to her when he was in that condition, but the best he could manage was to croak out a barely audible "go... go away... don't come near me... please..." that only sounded like a mumble to Joo Wol, causing her to step closer in order to hear him more clearly. Bad move though, as that was the exact time Lu Han's needs finally burst, and with darkened eyes and drowsy mind, he swooped her into the janitor's closet and did to her what he wasn't supposed to do and would regret his whole life and more. He tore her apart, inside and out, mentally and physically. He broke her trust, and destroyed everything that she was and what she has built with her own struggles. He took her most precious possession away. Sadly, even when he suddenly woke up from everything, it was already too late. Blood was shed already and her heart broke into pieces already, sending endless rivers of tears down her reddened cheeks. He was woken up by the stinging pain on his own cheek caused by her angry move on slapping him. She had slapped him with all her might as soon as she got the chance to. But of course it wasn't enough. It never will be. And Lu Han knew that. He knew that as he ran a palm over his hand-printed cheek, mumbling "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry" continuously (even though she was in no condition to hear anything at the moment). He knew that someday, somehow, he would have to receive the rightful punishment for what terrible sin he had done.

HIS INITIAL REACTION TO THE PREGNANCY + SPEECHLESS. I mean, hello, she disappeared from the face of China just like that for a whole year after he did... you-know-what, and then suddenly they met again under the most ungiven circumstances just for him to discover that she already has a daughter? No, I mean, for him to discover that she already bear THEIR daughter?! Hell yeah he's speechless. Anyone would have been. One minute a complete jerk, one year a coward, and give him a next minute and he was a father? Repeat that: FATHER, DADDY, APPA, PAPA?! Dear Heavens, give him a break! Nonetheless, seeing the face of the girl he had done terribly wrong to for the first time in so many months of missing her and guiltily attached to her images, a gush of guilt and a slight relief was what Lu Han's first reaction was. After a whole painful 12 months, after all his fruitless efforts of mentally punishing himself and trying to just forget everything, she was now in front of him. Okay, sure she got lost to herself and instantly screamed "DON'T COME NEAR ME!!! DON'T TOUCH MEEE!!!! DOOON'TTT!!! STAY BACK! STAY BAAAACCCKKK!!!!!!! NO! GO AWAY! GO AWAYY!! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU! GOOO!!!!! MOMMY, MOMMY WHERE ARE YOU?! NOOOO SOMEBODY HEEELPPP!!!! GET HIM OFF ME! GET HIM OFF MEEE!!!! MOMMYYYY!!!", but at least he could see that she had been much better than how he first thought she'd be. So that was good; what a relief. But of course, the relief had to go sooner than expected, when Joo Wol fainted from the shock, trauma, and horror of seeing him, and was brought to her changing room, there was where he finally met two of the most mesmerizing black orbs he had ever seen, eyeing him with suspicion of what this stranger had done to Joo Wol, whom the round eyes' owner identified as her mother. It was no later than that instant did Lu Han's heart made a skip as a gush of peacefulness and a strange feeling of love and protectiveness washed over him only by landing his eyes on the young child. It was as if... they shared a bond. Wait... a bond? And that was where it clicked. The realisation dawned him like a 3 meter wave swashing him over: Joo Wol. One year. . Baby. Tingly protective feeling. Baby. Joo Wol. Baby. Him. Baby. Joo Wol. Baby. Him. Bond. Baby..................................................................... HOLY .

HIS WISHES FOR THE BABY + What do you think a father would wish for his child, huh? Happiness, love, protection, safety, more love, all the best, and just everything in the Heaven an Earth imaginable; THAT was what he wished for his child. Although, there will always be that bigger part of him where he would wish another bigger and more selfish wishes for his little angel: a normal life. He wanted her to be just like any other kids. He wanted her to have both her parents beside her, he wanted her to have a normal household to grow up in, he wanted her to laugh and sing and chat like every other kids out there, he wanted her to hear the sounds of birds chirping and the sound of his voice whispering how much he loved her. And while he might seem selfish, but as long as he could give her a voice and a normal hearing sense, he would gladly sacrifice his own life even and let her make do with it all she wanted. Even if it would take So Won to use her voice to cry or to talk back to her parents; he'll take it. Even if it would take So Won to use her ears to hear loud rock music blasting through her room doors; he'll take it. Anything as long as there would be a miracle somewhere here and his little girl would have back the gift she truly deserved.

WILL HE TAKE RESPONSIBILITY? + Yes. Of course he would. Driven by guilt and the feeling that he owed her BIG HUGE TREMENDOUS time, taking responsibility was definitely on his top list right at the moment; just next to begging on her knees for apology, of course. But it would be a big fat lie if he'd say that guilt was the only reason. I mean, he—they had So Won now. They had a little bundle of joy as a responsibility to care and love for life! And Lu Han would be crazy if he'd say he wanted to miss his little girl's every progress; her first smile, her first step, her first biscuit, her first bruise, her first trip, her first day at school, her first love... although she might never have her first word, but Lu Han had found himself loving her too much to care. Sadly, even at this point, Joo Wol was still the ing one, as always. Still VERY much insecure about how she should feel about the man that had hurt her the most being all loving and fatherly with her child. Well, their child. But that's not the point here, is it? Whether she would want to accept it or not, Lu Han was So Won's father and that's not gonna change. So taking responsibility, especially for So Won's wellbeing? Like it or not, Lu Han was totally going to do it.

luhan

He was born on april 20, 1993.

BACK-UP LOVE INT + Choi Sungmin (SPEED)

BACK-UP LOVE INT + Lee Sung Jong (Infinite)

INITIAL REACTION AT PRENANCY + Trembling fear; that's what. I mean, wasn't it bad enough that her ity was cruelly teared away from her in such traumatizing way by a person she had felt she could rely on? Wasn't it bad enough that she had to sacrifice all the dreams she had built within the company and left just because that 'someone' had ruined everything in just a few hours span? Wasn't it bad enough that she would probably be traumatized for life because of this (and to think that her life might be consisted of probably another 60 years more)? Why does this have to happen? Why her? Why now? Why does this have to happen just RIGHT when she was only a leap away from reaching her lifetime dreams? Why? Why why why? Did God hate her so much? What had she done wrong? What unforgivable sin had she committed to deserve this? Could she mend it up now or is it too late? What was she supposed to do? Where was she supposed to go? What the hell should she do with the... it inside her body and where should she turn to? What what what? She was alone now, that's for sure. Terrifyingly alone. And scared as hell if I may add. After all, she was only 16 when it happened; what do you suppose she'd feel?

INITIAL SOLUTION + I would be lying if I said she didn't think of suicide. In circumstances like this, especially with Joo Wol's teenage mood swings plus the trauma and shock from it, ending your life was the easiest way out and hey, who wouldn't want to take a shortcut, right? Fortunately, her brain worked fast enough to make her think about everything again for a moment. She thought about her loved ones, how would they react to her ending her own life? No, she didn't want to imagine. Besides, she had come this far with her dreams, and she had failed the first shot, thanks to a man she didn't want to remember (but sadly again, she couldn't exactly forget him this way, could she?). But is that going to be her end? No. Hell no. She wasn't going to give up on her dreams just because some guy her and got her pregnant. Nuh-uh, her dreams are too precious to be given away just like that. So suicide? Scratched out. Phew. But the contemplation wasn't over. There was always abortion on the list. Abort? Not abort? Honestly, Joo Wol had heard horror stories about girls who did bad and went for abortion, but ended up losing their life instead; in a literal meaning or not. She was terrified too if that's the case. But keeping the baby? Oh hell that sounds even more frightening. I mean, what the hell was she going to do with the damned baby if she intended to keep it? Huh? HUHH? But in the end, with a little encouragement from her mother and her best friend, Yuan Yuan (who both knew that neither the baby nor Joo Wol was at fault), Joo Wol had found light and decided to keep her baby alive, with a nervous anticipation of what was going to come, she decided to wait.

REACTION TO BABY HEAVEN AGENCY + "What the he-...". There you go; that was her first reaction when she was first introduced to the agency. At first, clouds of doubts were what storming into her mind. Questioning everything as always, Joo Wol began to dig every single danger that might come out from having even any bit of relation to this agency. She had her researches too, of course, and impeccably so. But the more she read and heard about this agency, it wasn't more fear and doubt that she encountered, but more safety and curiosity. It took her quite some time to finally decide that she could try out something new for this mean time; you know, to socialize for a bit with people who has the same problems, and perhaps getting rid of her trauma and depression limb by limb? Anyways, the point is that she could try. She was willing to try this. And that's the only thing that mattered.

REACTION AND RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS MEMBERS OF THE GROUP + There was a certain fear inside of her, of course, as she anticipated her first meeting with the other girls. What would they think of her? How would they treat her? Will they be nice to her? What was she supposed to say first? How would they react if they found out that she was pregnant without her baby's father by her side and also out of wedlock (especially considering that she was *cough*  *cough*)? Would they look down on her? Questions after questions popped out in her head. Of course, even after overcoming your human fear after a case, it still wasn't easy to just meet some random stranger and say hi like nothing happened. She was scared; very much so. And the fear didn't seem to vanish as she got to the part where she met the girls one by one. They were very, nice, of course, but the trauma of getting betrayed the last time she trusted someone held her back. But as she thought again about the fact that these girls also, held their own stories, and that they too shared a mutual fate with her in being teenage mothers; her doubts slowly faded. So as time rolled by and the girls talked more and more among each other, the more that Joo Wol felt like she truly found herself some suitable friends.

WILL YOU KEEP THE BABY OR GIVE IT UP IN ADOPTION? + ADOPTION? You're kidding, right? WHY WOULD BAN JOO WOL WANT TO GIVE HER PRECIOUS LITTLE ANGEL AWAY FOR ADOPTION? WHY WHY WHY? Mind you, from the start until now, she had never—I repeat NEVER—considered giving her baby away to ANYONE; not even if the baby's father would come fetch her. Well, okay, once or twice, perhaps, as the fear consumed her, she might just calmed herself down by saying to herself that once the baby was out, there will always come a way to dispose it to another household, but when the day finally came, it only took one look at her baby and Joo Wol immediately regretted what she had said. One look and Joo Wol instantly knew that an angel was sent to her from the heavens that day, and she been the biggest idiot out of all idiots for saying that she had wanted to get rid of the little angel. So from that moment onwards, Ban Joo Wol declared herself as a mother for her very own little angel, Ban So Won. Screw whatever it is everyone said; So Won was hers to keep and that's that.

HEALTH DURING PREGNANCY (ALL 9 MONTHS) + Bad. Bad as she could be. Very bad. Bad bad badddd. How did you even expect her to be well, huh? Constant mood swings, stress, panic attacks, nightmares, depressions, insomnia, the urge to just kill herself along with the baby off, late night cries and wails, the feeling of being alone, the horrifying memories of the unfortunate event that got her into this state, sleeping pills, mental checkup, sedative shots, psychologist, therapy, the feeling that everything was useless (which they were), more medication; these were what Joo Wol had to go through during her 9 months of pain. She was highly and truly depressed, and screw her promise of not committing suicide—she had given up numerous of times. If it wasn't for her mother or Yuan Yuan (who came all the way from China to assist her), Ban Joo Wol might as well only remain a name carved on a tombstone right now. She took medications for her insomnia and panic attacks, and sadly, little by little, she overdosed it. And now look what happened; her baby, her source of pride and joy, was born without a voice and without the ability to hear voices. Oh how it killed Joo Wol to see her baby for the first time, unable to cry like normal babies. She was moving and breathing, but the delivery room was as quiet as the dead of night; no laughter nor cries; for Ban So Won had been born as a baby who could not cry.

REACTIONS OF THOSE WHO SURROUND YOU + Shocked is number one on the list, definitely. Tears, 'why' and 'how's came next. That was it for the only three people who got informed from the earliest about what exactly had happened: Joo Wol's father, mother, and best friend, Wu Yuan Yuan. These three were the only ones who knew about Joo Wol being , although as for who the criminal was, the only person who knew beside the suspect himself was Joo Wol. Joo Wol had refused to name the devil's son who had torn away her ity as her parents and best friend interrogated her, wanting to send the criminal to hell immediately. Or jail might be a good choice too. But Joo Wol remained mum, asking with her eyes for everyone to just stop and leave her alone to forget everything, because if Joo Wol would go the right way and reported her to the authorities, she knew that they would question her and that news will spread about everything and Joo Wol wasn't sure if she could handle all of those ever. So her parents and Yuan Yuan respected her decision; and though they still had a hard spot for a faceless man whose name they couldn't manage to dig out, but they could only nod as Joo Wol asked to be transferred to South Korea to her mother, to live far away from the place where she once called home, but now a hellhole of horrifying memories. Well, at least she was safer in her second hometown, where no one knew who she was other than the fact that she was Na Sung Hee's daughter who was staying with her beloved mother for the span of time of her pregnancy. Sweet as honey from the outside, huh? And though people would often become curious as to who So Won't father was, both Joo Wol and her mother would always answer with a smile that hid a bucket full of pain, and answered with a scripted "he'll come soon"

ban Sowon

Baby GIRL was born 25th of december, she was born in a rather sad condition. She was born prematurely; only after 32 weeks of pregnancy, and thus resulted in the baby being born as a deaf- mute; unable to cry, unable to let out a single sound, unable to hear. Thanks to Joo Wol's behaviors during the pregnancy.

LAST COMMENT + okay, I am so so sorry about this crappy app, really -__- it's just that the story idea seemed pretty cool in my head just now but as I got to type it down like this it suddenly didn't seem all so cool anymore. Hah. But I enjoyed the four days I used to write this anyways teehee >< but yeah,  I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it and sorry for possible typos or errors that I might have missed during editing and during the painful research that I did for the sake of this app (stupid hyperuality and preterm birth disorders -___-). I tried my best! Mweheh ><

p.s: sorry I couldn't find any suitable vertical pictures for newborn So Won, but here they are~ ( X X )

SCENE REQUESTS

+ that scene where Joo Wol hysterically screamed at Lu Han's face hoho
+ a scene where Joo Wol would cry, embracing a sleeping So Won and saying things along the line of "I'm so sorry for being the worst mommy in the whole universe,"
+ Yuan Yuan finding out about the identity of So Won's father and kicked Lu Han right where it hurt most (gyahaha sorry I'm just evil that's what >< a violent bestie is always da bezt /bricked) 

PASSWORD + (just wanna fill the space :))