Hi everyone!

Anyone still remember me? Or my works? It's okay if you don't. I haven't been active for awhile. 

There are so many thins i wanna say to you guys. 

First off, thanks for reading my fics, for keeping up with me being a grammar nazi and less of literature aspect in every of my fics (sobs)

Secondly, I'm sorry i haven't update my chaptered fics (which i believe  you guys already forgot they even existed by now) but i've been having this syndrome where i would have so many ideas in my head, but when i got home amd sat down in front of my laptop, my mind would go blank or yeah, i typed some but then my mind went blank. So i just stared at my typing (or even a blank page) and then after some minutes staring at it, i would close the document.

(Anyone can help me with this?)

Thrid, I just read some of my old blog posts and i just realized how i misses you guys so much. Interacting with you guys were fun. Eventhough i could never keep the conversation long (because i'm an awkward potato) but atleast it was fun. I misses you guys.

Fourth, a lot of things happened to me this past year. Remember I ever told you about my 2 years crush (well it's 3 years already by now) and there's no progress. And guess what? In that mean time, a potato loke me somehow managed to got a boyfriend (which lasted only for a month), don't get me wrong, we were happy, too happy i guess. He was like my bestfriend bc we can talk about everything and anything (even talking about openly lol) but we're just have too much things alike. Guess the opposite attracts theory was right. So yeah, we decided to break up (eventhough a lot, i repeat A LOT of people think that me and him are still together). It was short but sweet nonetheless. (And did I mention that he is one of my crush's pretty close friend?)

Anyway, I live without my parents now. I'm with my grandpa and auntie. My mom and dad at the different city (because of my dad's job) and my sister is in boarding school. I can contact my parents but can't really wiyh my sister bc her boarding school doesn't allow cellphones. I misses them so much. 

I misses my little sister so much.

I'm on my finals week, and it's just.. i know a lot of people feel this way on their finals and i'm just.. kinda.. frustrated? I don't even know. There were times when i couldn't sleep.There were even times when i would be awake without a blink of sleep dor three days in a row and be sleeping in clases. I couldn't focus on shoolwork or studying in general. 

I guess i just mises a lot of people in my life. I even missed my bestfriend eventhough we're at the same school but different classes. I really wanna talk about something deep. About my fear and my joy but i just don't know how. How to start or how to bring that topic to the surface.

There were also times when i feel like an outcasted. When i feel my friends have their life mapped oht and their plans to navigate their lives while me, just sitting there, listening to them and subconsiously realizing that my life seems to be a mess. I don't plan anything. That made me feel free without a burden but scared at the same time.

I'm scared of life in general.

Maybe this is a phase. Maybe this isn't. Whatever it is, this thing scares me.

That was my rant. It's 00.19AM and this happen.

Sorry for my rant.

anyone can relate to me?

I misses you guys.