~ Story Title: 3.5/5

Honestly, I was drawn to your story a bit by the story title, but it wasn’t the big hook that drew me in right away. I really liked how it had a bit of a double meaning (at least to me), regarding how both Donghae and Eunhyuk kept up a “masquerade” throughout the story, and the actual aspect with the masks they physically wore when they saw each other. To summarize: I took off some points because it’s not the most original name on the site, however it tied in very nicely to the story.

~ Appearance: 8/10

a.) Poster and Background (3/5)

I think the main poster and background worked very well to set the original tone of the story: dark, y, and mysterious. The only problem with me was the coloring of the letters on the main poster feels a bit awkward (with the red and black), as well as the puzzle pieces with some character faces in them just makes me confused since puzzle pieces don’t really match the theme. Regarding some of the chapter posters, it sometimes confused me when there would be one with a hooded figure (forgive me, I love Suju but I’m still rough with their faces) and another figure just sitting on a stool. If there was a pattern to this and it went right over my head, I deeply apologize!

All in all, it still looks very well done!

b.) Lay-out and Formatting (5/5)

I was on my mobile the first time I read Masquerade, and I was not disappointed. The fonts were legible, and there were no awkward sizes or colors that make reading fanfics a torturous experience for my poor eyes. Sometimes there was a very subtle font size difference for some chapters, but it hardly made a difference to me. Well done!

~ Description and Foreword: 7/10

I think your description is close to perfect. It’s simple and to the point, yet it provides the reader with that essential first taste of the story that reels them in. However, for readers like me, I would’ve definitely taken the bait faster if there was just a bit more in the description. I just have a serious issue with reading or watching something that I don’t have a good description of, but in this case a little goes a long way! The foreword was nice, especially since you reiterated the fact that this was a seriously hardcore story, and it wouldn’t be a simple -without-plot story. Amazing job on both the description and foreword!

~ Character Development: 9/15

a.) Unity of the Characters and Their Actions (3/5)

Some parts confused me; when Donghae speaks to Eunhyuk about not wanting to be dominated in a relationship, it really sent me reeling back as I firmly thought Aiden and Donghae were one and the same. Sometimes it surprised me how Donghae could be very sensitive (ex. when they were eating seafood, Eunhyuk joked that he was eating Nemo’s family and Donghae became upset) yet it was like he was a completely different person while being intimate. Perhaps that’s the whole idea surrounding Aiden/Donghae, but there was just a bit too much distinction placed on each of them. Another thing that kind of bugged me was that when Donghae found out that Spencer was Eunhyuk the whole time, he didn’t tell him. Wouldn’t it make sense to tell his lover that it was, in fact, him the whole time? Either way, the characters still worked well for me and other than the things mentioned above, their actions felt worked well for them. Great job :3

b.) Evolution of the Characters (2/5)

Alrightie, let’s start with both of our mains: Euhyuk and Donghae. Neither of them change very dramatically throughout the story; in fact, they both seem rather static in the grand scheme of things.

I’m just going to lay it out here: I didn’t feel like there was a massive, immediate change in any of the characters. However, rather than have a character go, “Aha!” and do a complete 180 in their personality, you introduced changes very gradually, which is something I really liked. For example, when Aiden/Donghae was speaking to Spencer/Eunhyuk after , he noted that Spencer had changed in ways that he wasn’t as aggressive anymore, being much more merciful with Aiden during their intimacy that he had at the beginning. It made him seem much more realistic, and that is something I enjoyed immensely. Donghae seemed to change a little bit, but it wasn’t as significant as Eunhyuk, which is why I took some points off.

c.) Point of View Used (3/5)

Whew, this one is tough. For the most part, I felt the point of view was easy to follow and not difficult to understand. It was only towards the ending (when the stuff started to hit the fan) did I become a bit jumbled in my reading. It wasn’t clear to me who Aiden or Andrew were (but I think that was your intention oops) until the end of chapter 12, which made me want to go back and reread to see how I could’ve missed it! Good job on this :)

~ Plot: 25.5/35

a.) Originality (4/5)

Ah, the originality of this story really put my brain to work. On one hand, I feel that it’s a bit clichéd in the sense that Eunhyuk and Donghae didn’t recognize each other for the entire duration of their ual encounters, despite knowing each other and working together for two years, which reminds me of the fairy tale Cinderella. On the other hand, you took this plot and added some very creative twists that left me begging for more. Bravo!

b.) Setting of the Story (5/5)

The settings throughout the story were very well described and worked well with the plot. I think the descriptions  for the places such as Opera, where they worked, and Jeju Island were very well thought out and nicely detailed. I want to write more but honestly I found no problems with your settings!

c.) Theme of the Story (5/5)

To me, the theme of the story was that deep inside, everyone has a dark desire that won’t always be understood by everyone. Yet, when you find the right person who can accept and love you for all your secrets and turn-ons, you’ll achieve true happiness (wow that sounded really cheesy even to me OTL). Even if I completely missed the mark on this, I felt that you presented it well!

d.) Flow and Pattern of Events (7/10)

I thought the general flow of events was pretty good for the first few chapters, but since there wasn’t very much conflict occurring throughout the story, it left the whole plot a bit weak. There was a bit of jumping between POVs that left me a little stranded, but the flow of the entire story was relatively well done!

e.) Conflicts and Resolutions (4.5/10)

Here we go: I felt like there was hardly any conflict in the story. As much as I loved this fic, I felt that there was next to nothing in the conflict department aside from the last few chapters with Donghae and Siwon, yet even that wasn’t much antagonism either.  Nothing was really resolved regarding anything with Siwon aside from him being kicked out of Opera; it made me feel a bit disappointed. However, I really liked the whole person-vs-self conflict parts of Masquerade: Eunhyuk and Donghae were both very torn about whether or not they should tell their partner about their dirty little secrets.

 ~ Grammar and Writing Style: 18/20

a.) Choice of Words and Use of Language (5/5)

Honestly, your writing style is pretty amazing. The amount of detail was perfect: enough to paint a clear picture for the reader, but not too much that would lull your audience into a zoned-out state. I could clearly tell that English is your first language as your writing is darn near impeccable! Fantastic work on this!

b.) Grammatical Errors (10/10)

I think in your entire story I saw maybe one or two grammatical errors, but for the life of me I can’t find them because they were so medial! Extremely well done here!

c.) Writing Style (3/5)

Although your writing skills are absolutely incredible, there weren’t very many figures of speech in the story. I think if you added a few things here and there (like similes or metaphors) it would really take your writing to the next level!

~ Over-all Enjoyment: 4/5

I absolutely l-o-v-e-d this story; once I started reading, I couldn’t stop until I finished at two in the morning! I myself am a huge fan of (and not because of 50 Shades of Grey, ugh) and I love the aspects of it that you covered: the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. The details you added in each scene left me all hot and bothered, which doesn’t happen as often for me anymore as I am an avid reader.  The only thing that irked me in your story was the fact that Eunhyuk and Donghae didn’t recognize each other the entire time. Honestly, aside from that, this is probably one of the best fics I’ve read, simply because most of them are simply about meaningless that eventually blossoms into something more. Although I was a bit confused at some parts from the switching of POVs, it became clear to me after reading the whole story. Taking something so raw, so intimate, and weaving such an incredible tale of lust and love is something that not many people can execute.  Reading briefly through the comment section, it’s glaringly obvious that I’m not the only one here who thinks this is an amazing story. Pat yourself on the back and go treat yourself to your favorite foods, because this is truly a gift for any enthusiast. I look forward to your next update ;)

Total Grade: 74/100