( rant imniduh )

soooo, i've had cases where some people either hate me or look up to me and trust me, i'm not writing this to boast but it does give a great amount of confidence when you know somebody actually sees you as either a role model or a threat although today, i'd like to take the perspective of seeing me as a threat. i have a lot, like, literally a lot of cousins who are way younger than i am that sorta, / in a way /, sees me as a role model and just a few days back — i got my national exam results. i'm very proud of it so i'll just say it straight - i got myself two A's, two B's, two C's, two D's and a G. i failed my Additional Mathematics, in which some countries call it as Algebra but that's not the cause of this rant. as i've mentioned, i have cute little youngsters looking up at me as their Wonder Woman and of sorts though, i can't be a role model for them since those aren't really good grades – that i admit and well, parents only want the best for their children, right? yep, i know but saying something to me like, "that's all you got? why does the kids even look up to you? you should set a better example!" or i think the worst one that i had was, "kpop this, kpop that – you think you're all that just because you know another language? they all did plastic surgery ffs!" or maybe this one, "why don't you just go run along with your boyfriend and stop messing around with the kids' minds?" for the record, i don't have a boyfriend — i used to but we broke up because he cheated on me. i've been wanting to talk this out with someone and i know i'm supposed to update my stories but i went missing ( again ) for the past couple of months and i'm sorry. i really feel so ing worthless, like i'm just some dumb that people would forget and i just thought that 'why should i go on with life? why should i bother logging on sns and rant about my useless self - nobody cares.' but then, i felt really guilty and i remember how all of you anticipated my comeback and i thought, 'why should i drag others with my misery when they deserve happiness?' and sooo, with all my heart, i promise you that the stories will be updated within this week and i'll try my best to update it on a daily basis and i am so sorry to have been drowning in my sorrow to the point where i forget my responsibilities.