told u u dont have to read this why r u reading this

have u ever sit where you are and think, "I'm such an ."

u know why things never happen the way you want it. you found out whats wrong with you and whats been holding you back your whole life in one sitting. well maybe not in one sittng? maybe ive been thinking about this, unconsciously, for so long.. maybe? but I know now

i kinda beat my self up for it

i googled stuff like 'how to not be this and that'

one of the steps was 'quit telling yourself you're negative things. tell ur self that ure a motivated, positive person!"

i tried.

couldn't do it

taste like a nasty lie in my mouth

blegh

right. just need to get these out. bye. and if youre reading, beause youre curious or you really care, thanks!!1 means a lot rlly. <3