A/N - Last chapter of the 'returning to the past' arc!!! Sanghyun and Ji-eunnie's separation was inevitable, the tides of fate pulling them apart, but soon we'll return to the present where everyone has the chance to start anew! Sanghyun is taking his last stand and will it end in his victory or just further tears? Find out soon~~~

@thunbii - Hehe, thanks for the hug. I'll return the favor with another virtual *hug* for being such an awesome commenter!!! I'm glad i managed to conveyed a sombre atmosphere to you all >< It was really emotional for me writing it as well! But fun~~~

@HanSang - to my other awesome reader, wooo~~~ You can FEEL it!!! (-.- that totally sounded like some sort of cult remark) but conveying the emotions of a characters is essential and i'm glad as an author i was able to ^^ Ooo and good luck for the bio exam (tho it's probably finished by now T.T) Hwaiting!!! As for the idol manager, i only watched one with soft subs but it was still pretty gd~ If you need the link let me know!

@wookielove - to my next most awesome reader (only in order of the comments right now), >< Don't cry!!! But yes >< Sanghyunnie went though a lot of pain, which is why he's so resevered in the present! And i've commented! Hope you wrist gets better soon! Hwaiting~~~

@ImaVIPbaby - Woot! More comments from you~~~ *little dance of joy* Haha, loving the face/emoticon!!!

@ainnurdoongie - Hello sis~~~ It seems my last chapter has resulted in torrential weather (is it bad im happy? ^^) Eh~ And you're asking why i hurt Doongie??? *stares intently at the unnie who wrote a very similar sounding story*

Kekeke, jokes~ I'll be awaiting your update with bated breath~ Your turn to make me cry!!! (with sadness or happiness, either one works!) 

Finally, cheers to loveforever0224 for subscribing!!!

Chapter 39 – Returning to the past, he recounts their parting

“What?” Sanghyun spun around to look at the doctor with disbelief. “You want me to leave?”

“That’s exactly what I said.” The doctor said in a calm tone. “You’ve done enough damage as it is and I doubt both of my daughters even want to see the likes of you ever again. So I’m demanding you leave, right now!” his voice took on a hard tone. “Or else I’ll involve the police.”

Sanghyun staggered backwards. “But I love Ji-eun…I can’t just leave her like…like this?!”

“Do you remember what you promised when you first met us?” The doctor said in a calm, but edged voice. “That if your presence was causing more harm to Ji-eun than good, you would leave her.”

Sanghyun’s overloaded brain was barely processing what the doctor was saying, but somehow that promise resounded within him as clearly as a raindrop in the middle of well, the ripples echoing around the stone edges repetitively so, preventing Sanghyun from avoiding it.. Even though his body wanted to refuse it, wanted to reject it, that memory was true. He had made a promise. And he had to keep it.

 “But…the accident…the media…” Sanghyun held his head, trying to sort out his priorities. Trying to find some sort of excuse to stay here for longer.

“I’ll deal with it.” The doctor said simply. “Someone of my status has sufficient power to interfere with the media. I’ll erase details of the car crash and Ji-eun’s involvement. It wouldn’t be good for her status as the ‘nation’s little sister’ to have been injured. You too will come out unscathed. Your future as a singer is still possible. All I ask,” he looked at Sanghyun with the caring yet fierce eyes of a parent, eyes like a mother fox defending her cubs. “Is that you leave Ji-eun and Ji-yun and never cross paths with them again.”

Sanghyun’s hovered. If Ji-eun’s father did as he said, Sanghyun dream of being a singer could be realized and Ji-eun’s success as IU would continue. But to do, the cost would be to part. And that broke Sanghyun’s heart into two.

It hurt. It really, really hurt. But Sanghyun knew what he had to do .So he steeled his heart and raised his eyes.

“Will you promise none of this ever comes to light.” He whispered creakily, barely able to understand why he was saying this. Why he was giving into the reality and not fighting back like they did in the movies, the man breaking down all barriers to be with his woman. Was he always this much of a coward? “Will you make sure no one ever finds out about the car accident?”

The doctor simply nodded.

“And will you make sure Ji-eun is happy…?” Sanghyun continued, eyes fixated on the doctor’s. “Make sure she can laugh and smile, because I can’t do it…”

The doctor nodded again.

“And will you make sure…she never finds out about me?” This was it. Sanghyun gripped his hands into fists.

The doctor’s eyes widened. “What?” he couldn’t believe his ears.

“I want,” Sanghyun took a deep breath. “I want to make sure you never mention me again in front of the two of them. I want to be erased from Ji-eun’s world completely. I don’t want her chasing after me if she does remember anything, I want you to make sure she doesn’t even know I exist.”

The doctor’s mouth fell open. He had expected resistance here. He had expected some sort of trickery or manipulation, a reminder to Ji-eun of what she had lost in order to make her return to him. He had not expected Park Sanghyun to be so…so…selfless. “You…you would do this for my daughter?”

Sanghyun nodded. “I would.”

“Why?”

“Because I love her.” Sanghyun said simply. “Is that not enough of a reason?”

The doctor’s eyes darkened. As a man who had married his wife for success over love, he didn't. “Do you?” he whispered, doubt evident in his tone.. Then he shook his head. He knew he never would understand. “Very well. In exchange for hiding the car accident from the media and…and ensuring Ji-eun’s happiness without you, you will leave and never speak to my daughter again. Is that understood?”

“Yes.” Sanghyun whispered throatily. “I can’t do anything else in repayment, can I?”

Even the doctor couldn’t say anything against that.

Sanghyun stood up straight. “I’m sorry for everything I have done.” He bowed to the doctor. “I am sorry that I have hurt your family and damaged their futures. I am sorry that I can do nothing in repayment but leave and I am sorry…that we couldn’t get to know each other better.”

The doctor was shocked. He knew his daughter had picked a good man, but like any father he did not want to let go of his daughter so easily. Yet this man, the doctor couldn’t help but think, that if things had not gone so awry, perhaps, just maybe he might’ve given his daughter away to this man with a certain heart.

But things had turned out this way. And Park Sanghyun had to leave.

“Go.” He commanded, unable to say anything more without losing his controlled tone.

Sanghyun raised his head. “Can I just have one last moment with her?” his eyes begged for this last chance and the doctor knew he couldn’t deny Sanghyun of it.

“Very well.” He said, desperately controlling his voice. “Five minutes.” And then he walked out of the room.

Sanghyun walked over to Ji-yun’s side first. Her stark white skin was a painful reminder of what sins he had accumulated and he could barely touch her. But touch her he did – he reached out with one hand to her soft cheeks.

“Ji-yun.” Sanghyun said softly. “I’m sorry for wrecking your dreams and your future. I’m sorry for not being able to love you and I’m sorry that all of this happened. So I’ll go away, you’ll never see me again. I promise. All I can hope for is that your future is still bright – that you find the future you were meant to have. I’ll pray for the day you can smile wholeheartedly again.”

He stared at her for a full minute, committing her face to his memory from the soft curves of her lips to the dark bruises on her cheek. He would remember her for the rest of his life, even if it killed him.

Then, Sanghyun turned around to face the girl he loved.

“Ji-eun.” He said and he couldn’t keep the love out of his voice. Even now, he wanted to be beside her. But they were not meant to be. “I’m sorry.” His voice cracked and tears poured down his cheek. “I’m sorry.” He bowed down and kneeled his head onto the bed next to her hand which he gripped like he was falling off a cliff and she was the thin, frayed rope holding him teethered to the world.. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, unable to say anything more and knowing what else him might say was meaningless. 

Nothing against the tides of fate. 

He did this for three minutes: just kneeling, just crying and just holding her hand.

A soft tap at the door interrupted his moment of regret and Sanghyun raised his head. It was Ji-eun’s father. Time was up.

Sanghyun stood and wiped away his tears roughly with one arm. He nodded to the doctor.

“Ji-eun.” He couldn’t help saying her name one last time. “I will always love you.” He promised. “Now and forever, you will be the only one in my heart.” He leaned down to kiss her on the cheek, leaving the gentle imprint of his final goodbye. “So please be happy, no matter what.”

With that he walked out of the door and past the doctor. Though each step hurt like stakes being driven into his feet, he continued to walk. He ignored the stabbing pain in his side or the furious pounding in his head – remnants of the accident – and instead treated them like punishment that was duly deserved. He ignored the wretched, twisted feeling in his heart. He ignored the way he wanted to fall to the ground and wail like a banshee till all his sorrow and pain and terrible burden were loosen unto the world the way the devil advocates his minions to set forth.

But Sanghyun knew nothing would come from that. He could cry it from from the spires of every tower, from the hills of every park, from the top of the tallest mast in a ship, but even then it would change nothing. His voice could not move mountains, and so he sealed it. With a lock and key. And then he tossed that silver key into the moat, letting it sink into its secretive murkiness and the metal rust unto dust. 

Sanghyun ignored all these torrential feelings and left the hospital – leaving his heart and soul behind.

***

Back in the hospital, one girl opened her eyes. She was crying, but muffled it.

“Sanghyun…” she sobbed into her pillow. “Don’t go…don’t leave me…”

Ji-yun’s heart felt like it was being ripped into two. The pain was worse than the raw, sliced feeling of her neck or the furious throbbing of her chest. All those physical injuries didn’t bother her as much as her heart did. But no matter how much her heart and soul cried out for him, she knew Sanghyun would not return. Her feelings could not move mountains, so she threw them away. With lock and key, she placed them into a silver box and sealed it, throwing away the equally silver key into the dark depths of a murky lake where it sank to join countless other tossed keys, turning slowly to rust and eventually to dust. 

Because even now, Ji-yun knew that Sanghyun didn’t leave because of her. He left because of Ji-eun. And that was the way it would always be.

***

Ji-eun opened her eyes again. She didn’t know why she wanted to wake up – her head was pounding like fifty men had decided to rebuild the N Seoul tower in her brain – but her heart told her to wake up. To wake up now or forever regret it.

So she wearily cracked her eyes open to hear the soft fading of footsteps. Somehow they sounded sad, defeated almost.

Ji-eun tiled her head to one side and saw her father leaning against the wall with his back to her, his shoulder hunched as if he was trying to suppress something. Then she turned her head to the other side and saw her sister lying in the opposite bed. As she did so, something wet touched her cheek.

Ji-eun slowly raised her fingers, crawling along the crisp bedsheets, to touch the spot next to her cheek. It was soaked.

Was there a leak in the hospital? Had it been raining?

Somehow she didn’t think that was the case. No…this was…tears?

Ji-eun didn’t know why she suddenly thought that way, but her heart throbbed painfully as if telling her she was forgetting something important. Ji-eun raised her hand to touch her right cheek, exactly where Sanghyun had left his last kiss and involuntarily tears fell.

Ji-eun was shocked. Why was she crying? Over what? A wet bed?

Or was it over something her mind no longer remembered but something her body did. It was crying out, telling her 'remember', 'remember'. But she couldn't. It was like hitting an invisible wall, frustrated at not being able to find a way through whether it be hands pummeling the mysterious object or foot angrily kicking it. Her strength could not move mountains, so she left it. With lock and key, she sealed the need to move past that obstacle. She restrained her curiosity and tossed that silver key down into the murky depths of the most where it lay amongst a thousand other nameless keys, turning to rust. 

Ji-eun raised her hand to touch her tears and then stared at the glistening drop on her fingertip. She watched it linger for a moment, dancing under the spotlight and then saw it teeter, shake and – like everything in this world inevitably did under the force of gravity – she saw it fall.

A/N - >< Another sad, emotional chapter. Sorry guys, but there's more tear-jerker moments to come! First though, we're heading back to the present where Sanghyun will wrap up his story and everyone will begin to make their move! 

And did you all like the photo >///< Omo! Doongie's so y as always~~~

And my reccomended story for today is ainnur unnie's equally tear-jerking story! I swear you'll regret it! Awesome story (lots of angst and love and emotion!!!) So yeah, check it out! I swear you WONT regret it~~~ Kekeke, get lots of love unnie! And update soon~~~