A/N - Sorry if everyone expected some sudden action after last chapter's fiasco, but this one is a slower filler! It sets things up for what comes next. You'll see by the end of this chapter! So enjoy it~

@womaninmblaq - Keep guessing! I can't reveal anything because it'll be too...well...definite... But anyway, glad the last chapter gave you all something to chew on. The next few chapters will have more~

@wookielove - Haha, that you did! Actually a lot of you are guessing right about a lot of stuff or are very close to it! Keep the guesses coming~

@reilsm - Originally i was going to have Ji-eun's mother there as well (she was going to be a colder character) but then i thot of making Sanghyun's doctor the father. Don't know if you all guessed him in the beginning (i dropped a few hints), but at least it would explain why he was at the hospital!

And Ji-yun hasn't lost her voice completely, she just can't use her vocal cords as effectively. So her speech is limited in terms of range. But yes, there will sweet moments in a few chapters time. Not this one >< Sorry. But soon!!! I've written it already and it's super cute!

Oops about the car accident on your birthday. The date i picked was totally random, haha, and as for the y pics...hmm...of course i'm aiming to put as many as i can in! There's about 56 chaps in total, so lots of room for y Doongie! Today's photo is glasses time!

@HanSang - yup yup, you guessed a lot of stuff right! A+ ~ As for Ji-yun...we'll see if you still like her in the coming chapters. I hope you do, because i don't want her hated too much! I'm so glad you're supporting Doongie as well! I didn't want him hated too much for all his trouble making and anger issues in the last few chapters. Because yes, he also has his problems. Actually everyone in this story all have their own problems, thus why they act accodingly. Lol, yes, but that is to be revealed later~

As for B1A4, I can't stop watching that vid >< SOOOOO CUUUTE!!! Have you seen the body talk vid? That one's even funnier! Especially Baro at the end with the toilet pumping mimicry!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_I_0MstC-c

My bias is Jinyoung the halbae. He's adorable, but i have to agree about Sandeul's derpy faces, they make me smile! 

Glad you liked the fanfic as well!!! I laughed because the moment i read your comment, a new update came out! Lucky~

Finally, thanks to baboracoon and msyang25 for subscribing! Omo!!!! 30 subscribers!!! *jumps for joy* Thank you all so much!!!!

And after yet another super long A/N section (which seems to becoming a trend, but one i love! Coz it's fun talking to you all~ so keep the comments coming!) you can finally read today's chapter. 

Oh yeah, happy Hari Raya to everyone! I actually totally forgot it was a holiday today. Lol.

Chapter 31 – Returning to the past, he and she apologize

Seungho POV

We all stood in silence after the doctor’s sudden departure, unsure of what we could possibly say after that bombshell had been dropped on us. Sanghyun had gotten into car crash resulting in hospitalizing three girls and destroying the lives of two of them. It wasn’t something so easily forgiven. And yet, we still hadn’t heard from the boy himself.

“What are we going to do, hyung?” It was Mir who finally spoke, but his voice was hollow and lifeless.

I took in a deep breath. “We wait till Sanghyun tells us the truth from his own mouth. I’m not going to judge him on the basis of what one man said. I want to hear from Sanghyun himself.”

Beside me, I felt Dara’s cold hand slip into mine and clasp it tight. “I’m sorry, Sanghyun.” She whispered. “I’m sorry that you went through something so difficult and I’m sorry there was some reason you couldn’t tell me…but this time…when you wake up…I promise to do my best to be a noona you can rely one. Promise.”

Mir then stepped forwards. “Yeah, hyung,” he gulped. “I’m sorry I wasn’t the supportive brother I should’ve been. But I don’t believe one word that doctor says! I will always believe in you first this time!” he sunk to the ground and hugged his knees.

Joon knelt down next to him and rubbed his shoulders. “Sanghyun,” he said in a hoarse voice. “I know there must be more to this story that the doctor knows. So please wake up and please tell us the truth. I don’t…I just want to stop feeling this way. This dark, angry hatred I can’t help but feel every time I look at you and…and…her….” His voice turned raw, as if sliced to pieces. “I just don’t want to feel these dark, terrible feelings I feel about you. So wake up, let’s talk and lets be the friends we used to be.”

I glanced at him. Dark, angry hatred? Had Joon really been feeling this way the entire time. God I was a bad leader wasn’t I? I didn’t understand any of my dongsaengs – not Sanghyun, not G.O, not Mir and now not even Joon. Everyone seemed to be suffering from something and I hadn’t been there for any of them when I should have been. Gods.

“It’s not your fault.” Dara rubbed my arm soothingly, as if reading my mind. Next to her, Chae-rin gave me a soft smile, as if to encourage me as well. “You can’t always be there for people, so just be there when they ask for it. That’s all you need to do.”

G.O smiled from where he leaned against the wall. “She’s right, you know.” He glanced at me. “It’s not your fault that you didn’t know about Hyo Jin’s accident or Sanghyun’s problems.” He then frowned at Joon. “Or other people’s feelings.” Then he looked back at me with a wan smile. “You’re our leader, so we will come to you when we need help. Understood?”

I wrapped my arms around Dara and looked at each of my members and Chae-rin in their eyes. “We have to believe in Sanghyun,” I said truthfully. “Ji-eun was right about. I didn’t trust Sanghyun. That much was clear when me and Dara tried to hide our relationship. So it was only right that he didn’t trust me either. So I want to change. I want to become the proper leader who Sanghyun can rely upon.”

I rubbed my hands over Dara’s cold arms, trying to warm her cold body up with my touch. “I’ll become a leader who everyone can rely on. Not just Sanghyun, but for you all.” I looked at them straight in the eyes, conveying what I couldn’t with words through expression. "I'll become a leader who has no need to hide things and is someone you can all entrust yourselves to." 

I could feel Dara smile even though I couldn’t see her face. And I could read her thoughts even though I wasn’t connected to her. It was like she was saying thank you. Thank you for believing in her baby brother when it seemed that no one else would.

Cheondoong POV

I woke up to blinding bright lights. For a moment I didn’t know where I was. Heaven perhaps? It was a tad over bright, but maybe that was how it was supposed to look. Then my thoughts crashed back to reality. Heaven? Who was I trying to kid. The only destination in afterlife I was heading to was hell.

Leaning up, I brushed against a cold hand. Dara’s. She was asleep, head in her arms and fists bunched tightly as if even in her sleep she felt tension. I wanted to rub that crease out from between her brows, but I didn’t want to wake her.

Scanning the room, I found to my surprise the rest of mblaq and even 2ne1. They were asleep in various states of lying and leaning around the room, sprawled and making the hospital room look like some boys scout campsite.

Hospital room?

Then it all came flooding back to me. The shouting, my raging actions and then the injection that made the world swirl and me feel like I was being drowning on the earth itself. I shuddered at the thought of repeating that experience.

Suddenly my phone, resting with my other items on the wooden table beside the bed buzzed. Luckily it was on vibrate and woke no one. I reached over to pick it up gingerly and flipped it open.

[1 new message]

Sender: ???

Time’s up. Think quick and act fast, kid.

I gulped. Time was up. I had to go.

I looked down at Dara’s frown and felt guilt stab my heart as I was about to betray my noona once again. Seungho-hyung was right, I had never tried to let them in – I had thought this was my battle to fight, my battle to win and my battle to protect. I had never wanted any of them involved, but in doing so I had hurt them more than protected them. 

So I guess it was time to tell.

Time to let them know the truth I had so furtively tried to keep my own business. Time to let them know why I did what I did, why I said what I said. Time to let that glass box crack.

Time to end this all.

Dara POV

Something was wrong. I could feel it in my bones. I don’t know what it was, but it woke me from my dreamless sleep. Blurrily, I rose and my hands searched for Sanghyun’s…only to find cold sheets rumpled.

“Sanghyun!” I was alert in an instant, my eyes wide open and showing me criminal evidence that the bed was empty.

My brother was gone again.

“Dara?” It was Seungho, mumbling sleepily as he pushed himself off the wall. “What’s wrong, sweetie?”

“Sanghyun.” I whispered, unable to believe that my little brother had done a runner again! As if the first two times weren’t bad enough, he still couldn’t bring himself to trust us and tell us the truth. “He’s gone.”

“What!” Seungho bolted to his feet. His eyes scanned the bed, showing him the cruel evidence. “Damn!” he hissed and slammed his fist against the wall, waking the other boys and Chae-rin. In various states of waking-up, everyone stumbled to their feet. Their expressions were all the same – one of shock, disbelief and sorrow.

“He’s gone.” Mir said in a hollow voice.

I turned away, unable to look at that empty bed. But just as I did so, Joon spoke up suddenly.

“What’s that?” I turned around to see him sliding his hand under the pillow and pull out Sanghyun’s blue phone and a white sheet of paper scribbled with ink.

“What does it say?” I said hesitantly, unsure of whether or not I wanted to hear what Joon was about to say.

“Noona, everyone. I’m sorry that I had to leave you guys in the cold again, but this will be the last time. I’ve decided to end it all: all the secrecy, all the problems I’ve been facing and all the hurt I’ve been making you all feel. Therefore, please listen to the recording on my phone. I’ve decided to tell you everything. So please listen. You can judge me later. Just know that I love you all, and I’m sorry.”

Joon gulped. “It sounds a little…final…doesn’t it?”

Seungho stepped forwards and took the phone. Flicking through it quickly, he found the recorded file and paused with his finger right above the play button.

“Shall we listen?” he looked up at me, his lips nervously.

I nodded. “Of course. I want to hear it.”

Seungho took a deep breath and sat down on the bed. “Very well then, I’ll begin.” He said and pressed play.

A/N - Seungho's shaping up to be quite the man! Go Yang Leader~ Did you all see that twitter pic Seungho put up? The one about support, friendship, loyalty etc? Well I'm going to write a short five-shot ish fanfic based on it. But yeah, i was just going to say what a brilliant leader he was~ Hope i portrayed that well here! Next chapter, Sanghyun's first meeting with Ji-eun is revealed! Woot~ Cute fluff~