It was a cloudy and gloomy day. The sun was almost set and the weather was cold. Everybody seems tired. They fidgeted at their positions, their expressions read “When will this be over for godsake”. The mood in the set was down, and the bad weather was not helping at all. She reads the situation and hurriedly reading her script. She shut her eyes and trying hard to immerse herself in her character.

“Okay, let’s continue!”

The director’s loud voice startled her. She immediately opened her eyes and saw everybody scattered, getting ready at their positions. She took a deep breath and put her script on the table. This is her 15th cut and she doesn’t want to extend it further. She doesn’t want to be a burden to everyone, everyone had a hard time because of her, she thought. And to be honest, she’s also worn out and want to end this fast. She was determined to complete this scene no matter what.

“Yoona-ssi, this is our last take. It’s getting late and it almost raining. If you can’t do it, we will continue tomorrow, okay?”

“Yes, director.”

“Okay, everyone get ready!”

The director sits on his chair and focus on the small screen infront of him. She took her position, and get ready for the director’s cue.

Okay, ready....Action!”

Mrs. Kim put her diary on a table. She was indulge in reminisce. Hana was at the door, she just silently watched her mother. After a while, she decided to greet her.

“Mom.”

“Oh, Hana. Come here.”

She walked onto her mother’s side and sits beside her. The rain has stopped but the weather was rather cold. Mrs. Kim spread her green muffler to share with her daughter. She hugged her.

“What were you reading?”

“Hmm? My old diary.”

She hesitated for a moment like she was thinking something. She was sure she had remembered her lines. She tried to chase away her thought and hurriedly continue her lines.

“...Emm, mom were you sick? Didn’t you tell me you were sick this morning?”

“No, I’m okay.”

“Really?”

Mrs. Kim nodded to assure her, “Really.”

They silence for a moment. Mrs. Kim patted her head with her loving eyes and radiant smile, like a real mother did. Hana stared on hermother’s eyes.

“I hope that I can hang on just a little bit longer.. I want to see you get married, I want to see the garden you make. I want to see them all..”

She just stared blankly at the fellow actress, her thoughts were wandering somewhere. Somehow, she’s also wondered how will it feel, to have a mother who worried about her daughter. But she was more curious to know the feelings of a daughter who has a mother more than anything.

It was supposed her turn to say her lines. But her mind was distracted, thus made her tongue to halt, freeze. No words come out from her pretty lips. The fellow actress realised what’s going on, so she just continue her lines.

“I don’t want to be a burden to you.”

Again, she patted her head. Like a cue, Yoona back to her sense and spoke her lines.

“Mom, don’t say that. You never be a burden to me.”

Deep in her heart, she hope she also knows what does it mean, and how does it feel.

 

“Cut!”

The filming was paused for a moment. The director and the scriptwriters focused on the small screen infront of them. They analyzed the scene and had discussion. There’s a little frown on the director’s forehead, adding his already existed wrinkles. He stood up and walked to Yoona.

“Yoona-ssi, we have discussed about the scene. There was a moment where you looked lost and hesitated. Thankfully, your fellow actress save the situation. I think we can use this scene.”

“I’m sorry, director. I will try harder.” She bowed.

“It’s okay. You did your best. But I think you need to say your lines with more feelings. Try immerse yourself into the character more. Where you only have your mom in your whole world.”

 

Mom.

 

“Study the character more, and you will be better.”

“Thank you, director. I will study hard.”

“Okay, I think it’s enough for today. We will continue the filming tomorrow!” the director announced.

The filming ended and all the staffs heaved their relief sigh. She thanked the director, the fellow actors,staffs and bowed to them.

 

“Thank you for your hardwork. Thank you.”

 

After all the staff finished packing, she gets into the car, where her manager had waited. Along the journey home, she was silent. She was exhausted and her body was worn out, but her mind cannot stop thinking. She was thankful to the director and fellow actors. They guided her throughout the filming. The director praised her many times and told her she did a great job. At the same time, he also told her to improve her acting. She was thankful to them. Of course, she never told the director about herself. That’s make her even more curious and wondered, did she really did a good job? How in the world she pulled that off? Jung Hana, a cheerful and innocent girl who lived with her only mom for whole her life. Where in reality, she also doesn’t know that word well.

 

Mom.

 

===

 

Yoona was studying her script in infront of television, while Sooyoung was eating her cereal. There was only two of them in the dorm that day. The others were having their own schedule. Every week, there will always somebody’s mother come to their dorm to visit their daughter. Today, Sooyoung’s mother come to their dorm and bring a lots of food for them. Yoona greeted Sooyoung’s mother. They shared a hug while exchanging greetings.

“Hi, Yoona! How are you?”

“I’m good, mom.  I was just studying my script.”

“Oh really? I watch your drama! You were so good Yoona. I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you, mom. Come in and sit. I’ll make you juice.”

“Mom, you always prefer Yoona than me..” Sooyoung pouted.

“Well, she greeted me first. ”

 

Mrs.Choi was really like a mother to all of them. She cooks food for them, tidying up their rooms and chats with them. Yoona is always thankful for her warmth. Not only Mrs.Choi, but to all other 7 moms. Sooyoung was chatting with her mother so Yoona excused herself. She glanced at both of them before she went into her room. They happily chatting with each other. She was just touched with that scene and smiled. She studied her script from her own experience and her observation of her sisters with their mothers. She studied a lot and day by day, she was getting better at her acting. The director praised her acting. The filming was finally ended and she was proud of herself.

 

===

The girls were always go back to their home if they have free time. As always, for those whose home are near, they just straightly went home. But not for Tiffany. Even they got 2-3 days off, she just stayed in the dorm. It is understandable because her family was in the US. So they always dragged Tiffany home with them. Last month with Seohyun, this month with Sunny, next month with Yuri, and so on. It was early February, and they just have 2 days off. But Tiffany was busy packing her luggage. Yoona noticed her Fany unnie always go back to the US every early February. Even she have more days off on any other day, she will always go home on the early of the second month. She doesn’t know if other members noticed this. She’s just curious of why Tiffany always go back during that period of time. Yoona knocked on the door and greets her unnie.

“Hi unnie.”

“Hey, Yoona. Come in.”

Yoona entered and sits at the edge of the bed. Watching her unnie packing her clothes.

“We got 2 days off, don’t you want to go home?”

“I just went home last week, and it’s only two days, so..”

“Oh, so you will stay at the dorm?”

“I guess so.”

“Oh, okay.”

Tiffany just continue packing her stuff and it intrigued Yoona. A sudden idea came to her mind.

“Unnie.”

“Hmm? ”

“Can I tag along?”

“What? To the US?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure? It’s a long journey.”

“You don’t want me to follow you is it?”

“No, of course not silly. I’m just afraid you will be tired. Besides, it’s only two days. But of course you can follow me.” Tiffany smiled.

“I miss your sister. She always treats me good food. Heh.”

“Yah, I will tell your sister that.”

“My sister always prevent me eating my favorites. ‘You need to take care of your body’ she said. ” Yoona imitated her sister. Tiffany laughed at her antics.

“Okay, okay. Have you tell your father you want to tag along with me?”

“Not yet. It’s just two days. I think no need to.”

“No, go tell him. I will not allow you to follow me if you didn’t tell him.”

“Okay, okay. Unnie, you’re no fun.” She pouted.

“Whatever. Go, go. Call them and pack your stuff.”

 

She practically pushed Yoona out of the room.

 

===

They seated on their seats and make themselves comfortable. It’s going to be a long journey. They took off their shoes and put on the slippers provided in the plane. Tiffany took out her Totoro pillow, preparing to sleep.

“Unnie, you're such a kid.”

“What?”

Yoona points to the Totoro pillow.

“Look who’s talking. You also bring your Rilakkuma blanket don’t you?”

 “Ho- how did you know?”

“It says ‘Hi’ to me.”

 

Tiffany points to Yoona’s bag. The blanket was messily out of the bag. Rilakkuma’s print on the blanket innocently smiled, greeting the surprised Yoona. She shoved the blanket into her bag and zip it.

“It- It’s my fan’s gift.” she stuttered, embarrassed.

Tiffany smiled, “Me too, kid. Now let’s go to sleep.”

They both went into silence, Tiffany was trying to sleep while Yoona was not sleepy yet. After a few hours, she poked on Tiffany’s arm.

“Unnie.”

“Hmm..?”

“I’m not sleepy.”

Tiffany took out her mp3 and gave to Yoona.

 “Listen to this.”

“I have my own mp3.”

“Try watching movies.”

“I finished watching 3 movies already.”

Tiffany gave Yoona her magazines. Yoona gladly take it. After a few pages, she just stared blankly at the magazines. She poked Tiffany’s arm again. Tiffany was soundly sleeping and didn’t respond. She poked again, this time on her cheek. Tiffany opened her eyes immediately.

“Unnie.”

“What again? Can’t you just let me sleep?”

“It’s in English.” she pouted.

Tiffany scratched her unitchy head in frustration. She was soundly asleep and wanted to scold Yoona, but she was defeated by Yoona’s puppy eyes. She can never win against those eyes.

“Okay, okay. So what do you want to do?”

“Hmmm....let’s play some games. Do you have an idea?”

“I do.”

“Ok, what game?”

“Who closes her eyes the longest, wins.” Tiffany answered while she closed her eyes.

“Unnie!”

“Okay, okay. I woke up now.”

Tiffany groggily woke up from her sleep. Yoona thought of something.

“Unnie, let’s talk.”

“Hmm, about what?”

“Emmm...unnie, can I ask you something?”

“What is it?”

“We only have 2 days off, is it enough for you to stay at home?”

“Yeah, I missed my home. So I just go back. I don’t mind, 2 days is okay for me.”

Yoona was  practically runs around the bush. She was cautious to ask what exactly she wanted to ask.

“I mean, why don’t you go back when we have more days off on the other day? You can stay and rest at home longer.”

Tiffany was quick to understand where Yoona’s questions lead to and just smiled. She just answered Yoona’s questions like usual and silently enjoyed watching Yoona’s cautious acts. Eventhough Yoona always annoyed her with childish voice and antics, she can be such an adorable kid sometimes.

“Because I just feel like going home now. And here I am, with you, unexpectedly.”

“You really don’t want me to follow you right, unnie?”

“You can said so.”

“Fine, I’ll go back now.”

Yoona stood up, pretending to sulk. Tiffany grabbed her arms and made Yoona sat back on her seat.Tiffany flicked her forehead.

 

“Oww! What was that for??”

“I’m just kidding, silly. You’re on the plane, pabo. Where do you want to go?”

“I know..” Yoona rubbed her forehead.

“You pabo.”

Yoona was still curious, while Tiffany just waiting for Yoona to ask. Yoona gather herself and hesitantly asks.

“Emmm...unnie.”

“Hmm?”

“Why did you always go home during this time..? I mean, you always go home on February..”

Tiffany smiled. “Thought you never ask.”

“What? You know?”

“I’m your unnie, you pabo.”

“Whatever. Answer me.”

Tiffany went into silence for a moment before she calmly answered.

“Because it’s my mom’s death anniversary.”

 

===

 

After long hours of flight, they finally arrived. Tiffany’s sister, Michelle fetched them at the airport. They went to the nearest restaurant before going home.

“As expected, unnie is the best! My unnie will never treat me like you did.”

“You’ll be in trouble if Fany report that to your sister.”

“Im Yoona, you’re dead when we go home.”

Yoona just stucked her tongue out to Tiffany. Michelle just laughed at the both kids.

“I prepared extra bed in Miyoung’s room. Have a good rest okay?”

“Thanks unnie.”

They went up to Tiffany’s room. It was tidy and cozy. The curtain and the bed sheets are all pink, as expected.

“You will never get tired of pink, right unnie?”

“Yeah. I love pink since I was kids.”

Yoona saw a frame of Tiffany’s late mother picture on the table. She was smiling, so did her eyes. She was so beautiful. That’s where Tiffany unnie got her eyesmiles from, she thought. She immediately remembered her last conversation with Tiffany.

“Unnie.”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry I asked you that.”

Tiffany smiled. “It’s okay, sweetie. Take a good rest. We’re going to somewhere tomorrow.”

“To where?”

She smiled again. “Somewhere.”

 

===

 

It was a bright Friday morning. The weather was nice, birds were chirping at the Hwang’s yard as they were welcoming Yoona.  After they had their breakfast, they walked to their destination. On the way, Tiffany friendly greeted her neighbours. She has been always friendly and sweet. Yoona just followed Tiffany and smiled. They continued walking until they reached a florist shop. Tiffany bought a bouquet of white lilies. They continued walking and finally reached to their destination.

 

It was a cemetery. They walked further inside. Yoona followed behind Tiffany as they walking. Suddenly Tiffany stopped and turned to a certain grave. She bowed and Yoona followed along.

“Hi, mom. Long time no see. I miss you.”

Tiffany knelt down and placed the bouquet on the grave. It was her mother’s favorite flowers.

“Mom, this is Yoona. This is your first time meeting her, right?”

She wasn’t sure her feelings as this is the first time she felt such feelings. Mixed emotions grew in her. She bowed again and greeted, “Hi mother. I’m Yoona, Tiffany’s unnie dongsaeng..”

 

Tiffany swept the falling leaves on the grave and trimmed the growing grass at the surroundings. Yoona knelt down to help her.

“Mom, I’m sorry I didn’t go home for a long time.”

Yoona just being quite and let Tiffany had her conversations with her mother.

“I just finished my musical. Did you watched it? I’m doing well, right?”

“I was very happy when I received the offer. I studied hard, Taeyeon and Jessica helped me too. It was very difficult at the beginning. I had to juggle my schedules, between the music programs, MC, CF filming, and promotions. I feel like I want to give up. I feel like I’m going to die.” she stared at the grave. Her eyes were blurry from the tears.

 

“But the members were very supportive. They picked me up when I was down. They hugged me when I was weak. Then I immediately thought of you. You always do that when I was young. You hugged me when I cried. You came to me when I lost my faith. I was thankful to them. And I was thankful to you.”

Tiffany’s tears were threaten to fall. She never let out her feelings to anyone. She just keep it to herself. Tiffany was someone who never tell anyone about herself. She always showed the cheerful and bright side of hers. Yoona was surprised when she saw this side of Tiffany. Her eyes were b with tears. She felt bad. She never thought deeply about how her unnie feels. She squeezed Tiffany’s shoulder, comforting her.

“I’m sorry. I never bring any of the girls to you. I guess today is my first time introducing one of them to you. This is Yoona. She’s pretty, right?”

“Hello, mother. It was my first time meeting you. Don’t worry about Tiffany unnie. We take care of her well.”

“Yoona was our second maknae. She just finished filming her drama. She was great. You are proud of her, right mom?”

Yoona’s tears finally fall on her cheeks.  She was touched. She never feel this way before. She never know the feelings of letting herself out to someone called a ‘mother’. She was also had a hard time, just like Tiffany. It’s just, she never tell anyone about it. She just keep it to herself. Yes, she was famous, the center of the national girl group, got plenty of CF offers, and all. But deep inside, she was lonely. She never saw her mother, never know how she looked like. She wondered if her mother recognize her, did her mother watch her drama, did she know who she is now, she wanted to know if her mother proud of her, she’s curious about everything. She wanted to let herself out, she wanted to say something, but no words come out. So she just cried. She was touched because of Tiffany’s simple words. Tiffany was surprised when Yoona burst out to tears.

“Hey, hey..what’s wrong?” she hugged her.

“I- I- I missed my mom.” she stuttered

She’s not sure if it’s the right word to choose. Where in reality, she never saw her mom in her whole life. How can the word ‘missed’ out of ? She also doesn't know, she doesn't care. Tiffany hugged her tight, her back.

“Shhhh....it’s okay.”

 

Yoona was still crying in Tiffany’s arms. Tiffany was also crying silently at the crook of Yoona’s neck. She felt bad. She should think of Yoona’s situation before she brings her here, she thought. Tiffany hugged her tight.

Later that day, they went to Mrs. Hwang’s grave again. This time with Mr. Hwang, Tiffany’s brother, Leo and Michelle. They were working during the morning, so they can only gather during the evening. They flew back to Korea that night.

 

===

 

Since they got back, Yoona grew more quite. She rarely talked. She just stayed in her room most of the time. Other members realized her sudden changes and went to Tiffany. She’s worried about her precious sister and she doesn’t want to keep this as a secret to others. They have rights to know. So she told her members everything. They also surprised after hearing from Tiffany. The Yoona they know is the most cheerful a person could be. She never show her tears and always smiled. They were surprised when Tiffany told them she cried. That night, after their dinner, Yoona straightly went into her room. They decided to console her. Tiffany knocked on the door.

“Yoona?”

“Yes?”

“It’s me. Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

Tiffany went in and sat on Yoona’s bed. Her eyes looked swollen. Lifeless. Tiffany held her hands.

“Yoona, I’m sorry.”

“Hmm? Why do you said so?”

“I made you sad..”

“No, you’re not. You’re not at fault. I was just...thinking.”

“Mind to share with me?”

She looked down. She was hesitated to answer.

 

“I’m....I- I wanted to know about my mom... The last time I saw her picture was when I was 4. But that picture lost when we moved to new house. And...I couldn’t remember how she looked like.”

“Yoona, I wanted you to know, no matter where your mom’s are, I’m sure she was proud of you. Open yourself to your father, and tell him how you feel. I’m not sure, but maybe your father is still in-contact with your mom. I can’t say much, but try ask your father about it. Don’t give up and don’t be sad. Talk to me. I will always be here for you.”

Tiffany pulled Yoona into a hug. The others were eavesdropping their conversations from the very beginning. Tiffany cued them to enter the room. They all gathered in Yoona’s room. Jessica went to join the hug. Yoona was surprised. Then, Sunny followed after, then Sooyoung, then Hyoyeon and finally all of them join in the group hug. Yuri’s prankster instinct suddenly kicks in and she started to tickle Yoona.

 

“Ahh, ahh, stop it! Unnieeee! It’s tickling!”

 

Yoona was laughing hard. They were laughing together. They broke off the hug when suddenly Jessica
flicked Yoona’s forehead.

“Oww! What was that for??”

“You pabo. Why don’t you tell us?”

Yoona just pouted and rubbed her forehead. Jessica hugged her.

“Yoona, we’re all here for you. Don’t be sad okay?” Jessica muttered

“Tell me if you have problem, I’m your roomate!” Yuri said

“I will tell my mom to cook your favorites!” Sooyoung added

All of them were laughing at Sooyoung’s remarks. Yoona was touched, and finally smiled. She was thankful to all eight awesome people by her side right now. She realized, everyone in this world has different fate. She learned, even she doesn’t have a mother beside her, she has 8 other sisters who were always by her side. She thought, she could be luckier than any other people at the other side of the world. She is very thankful for what she has now. And she wanted to be more expressive towards her loved ones.

“Thank you unnies, and maknae. Thank you. I love you all.”

“We love you too.”

Yoona initiated a hug and all of them joined. Suddenly, Taeyeon thought of something. She rarely used her authority as a leader, so she decided to use it now.

 “All 9 will sleep here tonight.”

“What??”