I’ve worked in my uncle’s vinyl records shop for as long as I can remember. Every morning I’d wake up at 6 AM and open up the dusty shop to dust off the dust, but the records stubbornly remain dusty. Despite all the dust on the records, people would still buy them and I would always wonder, why?

Having lived practically all my life at the records shop, I realized that I’ve also become dusty. Like the records that I sell, I have become dusty over time. But unlike the records I sell, no one ever bothers to pick me up and bring me home.

Until she came along.

I remember that day clearly. Someone opened the door, the bell clanged loudly and I said my standard line of “good morning” without looking up from my iPod. The customer greeted back, her voice sounding like angels singing if ever I could hear an angel sing.

Surprised that someone had actually greeted back, I looked up and saw that she had already walked away and was already browsing the shelves.

I stood up to take a better look at my angel-voiced customer, and finally I got a good glimpse of her face.

Amidst the dusty piles of records, the smell of tobacco and the rickety stands, I saw a goddess. A goddess walking among my abhorrent wares, a goddess who was not fit to be in that dusty, unholy place.

I approached her, feeling myself drawn to such a beautiful being. I didn’t even realize that I was already in front of her, basking in her glory, until she looked at me and smiled.

“Hi,” she said with a smile. “I’m SeoHyun.”

* * *

As the days went by you continued to come back to my unholy place. You talked to me about random things: your puppy, that house on the hill you said was “perfect”, your love for all kinds of music, as long as they were pleasing to the ears. You listened to my frustrations, to my hopes, to everything I said—which no one has ever done before.

You made friends with me.

For the first time in my life, someone had picked up dusty Im Yoona from the dusty shelf that she has been hiding in for so long.

Someone actually cared for me.

* * *

It was, to put it simply, love at first sight.

So I was naturally nervous when I asked you out on a date the first time. I mean, I didn’t know how you thought of me, what with my ripped jeans and battered sneakers and all that. I actually stuttered when I asked you, but you just laughed out loud, looked at me happily, and nodded.

We went to the movies, to the park, to all sorts of places. We even went to that house on the hill that was on sale, just to look at the sunset.

The next few weeks went by in a blur. They say that’s how it is when you love what you are doing: time just flies so fast. We went to lots and lots of places, ate lots of food, saw lots of scenery.

One day, on our usual trek up to your favorite hill, we first held hands. When we arrived at the top of the hill and sat on the cool grass, you looked at me intensely and asked,

Have you ever kissed someone?

And I said, No, not yet. Why?

You grinned at me and said, Do you want that ‘yet’ to happen now? And you leaned in and kissed me.

We went down the hill, holding hands and our lips tingling with the sweet sensation of our first kiss.

* * *

One rainy day you came to the store, drenched from head to toe. It didn’t hide the fact that you were crying, for your eyes were puffy and you were breathing hard.

SeoHyun! Wha—are you okay? What happened?

I removed my jacket and wrapped it around you before ushering you in to the store, your footsteps spattering the floor with mud.

I can’t hide this anymore, you said.

Hide what?

You looked into my eyes and at that moment I wanted to stop you from saying it, because your eyes told me that you were afraid to tell me.

I—I have cancer.

* * *

As I toweled your hair and gave you clothes to change in, you told me the entire story.

A few months ago the doctors told you that you had bone marrow cancer. You mentioned other things, such as your other symptoms, but nothing else made sense to me.

Except for the last thing you told me: you only had six months left to live.

That night, as the thunder rumbled outside our window and the rain poured mercilessly, I held you in your sleep.

* * *

Over the next few days you began to grow weaker. Waking up every morning turned out to be a burden for you. One morning you refused to wake up despite my endless coaxings, and I panicked so much and I started shouting at you and shaking you vigorously. Slowly you opened your eyes and I hugged you so tight, tears streaming down my eyes.

I thought you already left me!!!!! I half-sobbed, half-shouted at you.

You raised a weak hand and slowly ran your fingers through my hair.

I’m not leaving you, Yoona. Not yet.

* * *

I worked hard.

I worked day and night at the records shop, and I took a part-time job too at the nearby fastfood. I took out loans, asked from friends, raised funds.

As I wiped the tables and counted the money I already had only one thing was on my mind: that house on the hill that you called “perfect”, that house that you so badly wanted.

* * *

One day I took you out on your wheelchair, for you were too weak to walk. When we reached the foot of the hill I lifted you and carried you up the hill, trying hard not to notice how thin and how fragile you were in my arms.

As I set you down on the grass, I took out two things from my pocket.

Seo Ju Hyun, I said, as I sat in front of you and looked at your eyes, whose brightness was not yet robbed by your disease. I have two things for you.

You looked at me expectantly, and out of my right hand I produced a key.

This, I said, placing the key in your palm, is the key to your perfect house.

You smiled at me, and in that moment you looked exactly liked your old self: happy and bright and worry-free. I missed that smile so so so much, I wanted to cry out of happiness.

I knew you’d buy it for me, you said to me jokingly. I knew you could never resist me.

I laughed, but I still had another present.

I kneeled in front of you and produced a ring from my left hand.

I know these are not gold rings, unlike in your dreams, I said. Actually I just bought this at the shop down the street, for a quarter a piece.

You laughed, and I thought you were going to make fun of me, but your eyes were twinkling with anticipation so I continued.

I’m just me: dusty, forgotten, with tattered jeans and no education. But you came into my life and made me realize the beauty of the world, the beauty of loving someone. You made me realize that I could be something. You made me feel endless, because you loved me.

I’m not perfect, but I swear I’m perfect for you, Seo Ju Hyun.  I’m no angel, but I will love you endlessly.

Will you marry me?

At that moment your tears started to flow freely, and I kissed away your tears and you kissed me, again and again on the lips and cheeks, repeatedly whispering the words that I’ve always loved hearing from you.

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.

* * *

One day we were sitting on the grass outside our perfect house on the hill, watching the sunset. I looked at you, your head resting on my shoulder, and I asked you,

What else do you want to do?

You remained silent, and I continued,

You mentioned you wanted to go see the world, see it in all its beauty. You said you wanted to have wings.

I smiled, remembering that conversation so long ago when you said you wanted to be a bird.

You looked at me, with those eyes that spoke so much without words, and in that moment I realized you were imploring me to etch that moment in my memory forever.

Wings aren’t what I need, you said.

All I need is you. For in you, I saw all the beauty the world can offer.

I smiled at you and tried my best to hide my tears, and I when I saw your smile I knew that you were doing the same.

I hugged you tight and I felt your weak arms embrace me, and then you whispered:

I am happy. Aren’t you going to ask why?

I didn’t want to, but I knew you wanted me to hear your answer. Why?

Because your embrace is the last sensation I will feel and bring with me.

* * *

The next morning SeoHyun never woke up from her sleep.

* * *

* * *

* * *

When Yoona finished her speech, everyone was already crying. No one expected her to say a eulogy for SeoHyun because for the past few days, she refused to speak or eat. Yuri and the others thought that she might not be in a fit condition to speak in front of a crowd, but during the funeral rites she just stood up and started speaking.

When SeoHyun’s coffin was finally lowered onto the ground and people started leaving, Yuri put a hand on her friend’s shoulder.

“Im Yoona.”

Yoona looked at her with lifeless eyes, caressing the tarnished ring on her finger. “Hm?”

“Do you want to… stay at my house for a bit? Mom’s cooking, and you need to eat.”

She nodded, and followed Yuri to her car parked across the road.

As Yuri crossed the road, she heard a scream and she turned.

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH--! 

As I crossed the road I saw SeoHyun, waving at me. I smiled, and waved back at her.

You’re here, she said, running to me and hugging me tightly.

I hug her back, feeling that she was not fragile like in her last days, but strong and warm and stunningly beautiful.

I can’t be without you, SeoHyun. I can’t be endless without you.

She looked at me, with her twinkling eyes and said,

Then let’s be endless together, Yoona.