Note: Make sure your playlist playing HSJ's Hajimari no Melody >_<

The swaying white clouds from the sky in a pool of water

The wind blows all of a sudden, making your hair come apart

“Hey, what’s up?” I plopped down beside you who were sitting while hugging your knees to your chest at your favorite spot in the rooftop of the three storey building where your family’s flat and mine were exist.

You lifted your head, and when you turned to me, your face was all smile. I knew you were sad about something. Just, I didn’t know what it was, and I didn’t want to force it out from you.

“Nothing,” you said maintaining your cheerful tone. “Ah, how was your exam?”

“Just the same,” I answered you with lazy tone. “I don’t think I’ll pass this one.”

You shoved my shoulder weakly, laughing, “Have a confidence on yourself even just a little, will you?”

If you tried to force a laugh, it’d be too rough on you wouldn’t it
Until your heart feels lighter, I will be by your side

Your laughter ceased.

I put my arm around your back, and made your head rested on my shoulder. I did not say a word. You did not either. You put your hand over mine, intertwining our fingers. Silent breeze passed, and I pretended not seeing when your tears dropped onto my skin.

I wanted to ask you what was wrong, but I knew you did not want to share your sadness because you once told me that the one deserved to be shared was only happiness. So, I gulped my words down, squeezing your hand weakly.

“You look like you need some sleep,” I chose to pat your arm gently.

“Ryosuke?” you hesitantly spoke.

“Hm?”

You took a second to answer me with, “Nothing.”

You would tell if you wanted to share, but for now you didn’t, so I replied, “Okay.”

We let silence engulfed us.

The words I want to convey the most, the words I want to hear the most

Because we understand they’re the same thing, we’ve never said a thing

They called us best friends. I used to consider you as one myself. I didn’t know, or perhaps I was just too dense to realize, that slowly I saw you as someone else. In my eyes now, you’re no longer my little friend. You are the girl that I’ve fallen for then, am in love with now, and will love till the time I couldn’t tell— I wanted to say forever, but I didn’t even know if that word was applicable.

I love you

“Mirai,” there were times when I called out your name with the sole intention of telling you.

“What is it?”

And when you replied with that question, I found myself cowered.

Just like the flowers that disperse about when spring ends

Just like the birds that leave when summer ends

Just like the dried up leaves that flutter away when fall ends

Just like our wishes for the spring to come when winter ends

“Forget it,” I would always say.

“You’re weird, you know,” then you would reply with the same teasing.

“Just go back to sleep,” I finalized, and you didn’t resist.

You closed your eyes, but I knew you didn’t sleep because I recognized the rythm of your breathing. I didn’t even believe it myself that I knew you so well until such small details of your gestures.

Whenever one thing ends, another begins

Everything surely has a meaning

I want to protect all of you

I’ll hold on to your hand tightly so I don’t stray

“Say, how do you picture your future, Ryosuke?” Sometimes you would bring a weird topic in our conversation all of a sudden, but this time was perhaps the weirdest.

“How about you?” I didn’t know what kind of answer you wanted to hear from me, so I chose the safest way by asking you back.

You didn’t answer me for a while that I thought you would never give me an answer.

“Probably the same with yours,” you said eventually.

“How would you know?”

You shrugged your shoulder, “Tell me yours then.”

“Nope. That’s gonna be a secret,” I jokingly answered, and you heaved a sigh.

“Just tell me one thing,” you said. “Will I be there? In your future?”

I didn’t delay any second to answer, “Of course.”

“Yokatta,” you muttered at the same time you pulled away, letting go of our entwined hands.

You turned to me with the same smile I saw you a moment ago, telling me, “I’ll see you tomorrow. Now, I’ve to go back. I still haven’t finished my assignment.”

You didn’t wait for my reply, but you usually did. You walked away, and I felt something was not right as I saw your back. So, I did what came first to my mind. I ran after you and grabbed your hand to stop you.

When I reeled in and gathered the red thread on your pinky  

You shyly turned away, time stopped at that moment

We didn’t meet just for the pure sake of uniting

I want to knit new days together with you

You turned to face me, tilting your head slightly, “What is it?”

I was regaining my senses as you kept that questioning stare on me.

“Ryosuke?” You waved your free hand before my face, and you didn’t pull the other one I was holding.

My heart thumped loudly that I feared you might hear it, so I spoke with louder voice, “Don’t leave me alone, baka.”

A chuckle emitted from you, and this time I could feel the sincerity, so I responded by pretending to be annoyed. I pouted, pursing my lips, since you’ve ever told me that look of me was cute.

“You should also graduate from your acrophobia or else you won’t be able to fly to United State,” you said.

I let go of your hand after remembering that soon I would not be able to hold your hand like that. I had been taking several scholarship examinations for graduate degree. I would probably leave even before I could attend your graduation ceremony in your college.

“Nah,” I eventually, for the nth time, chose to pretend; pretend that it would not affect me. “I’ll be just fine when the time comes.”

You smiled, “Yes. You’ll be just fine.”

We came down to our floor together since your flat was just right beside mine.

The feelings I really want to convey, the feelings I truly want to know

Because we both understand the same things, we avoid using words for it

Just as we turned to our corridor though, suddenly you stopped walking.

“You go first, Ryosuke,” you told me, and I arched a brow at t