"Why are you so awkward, Chorong?" Nana asked as she let out a snort.

"Everything you do is so awkward," Haeryung stated, not making the situation any better.

I smiled back at their pretty faces, acknowledging their comments but mentally I cursed at them.

Nana and Haeryung who labeled themselves as my best friends," were indeed my friends - but on a personal level, we weren't even close, meaning I wasn't comfortable to share everything that goes on in my life with them. Ironically, I never acknowledged that they were my "best" friends because the whole labeling someone-who-might-not-stay-in-my-life-forever seemed kinda pointless. As messed up as that sounds, it is the truth. Although I truly enjoyed their company because they seemed to understand me at times, sometimes I don't even understand them all, especially  their constant sarcastic remarks and their obsession with boys.

Now, you're probably wondering how did I meet them? Well, that's not really a complicated story. We were all transfer students in the same class during the same year in high school and somehow the three of us formed a trio. Now here we are, still together after we've graduated.

It was four in the afternoon and we were hanging out at a bubble tea shop. After being forced to order drinks for the two girls they commented on the way I was flirting with the cashier dude (in which I wasn't) - "awkward" is what they described it as. Not even putting in the effort to argue with them, I continued to sip on my matcha green tea bubble tea while staring out the window and onto the streets.

"Let's go out to a party tonight." Haeryung excitedly said as she looked to me then Nana.

"I'm down, always down if there are boys there." Nana let out a chuckle as she pulled a mirror out of her purse to look at herself.

After pretending to busy myself with my drink, I innocently looked up back at Haeryung. "You guys have fun."

"Don't be a loser."

"What loss do I have of not going to a party?" I asked a matter-of-factly.

Meeting people, meeting booooys."

"Yeah, I'll skip that." I sipped on the last of my drink and set the plastic cup back on the table.

"You're going," Haeryung playfully said while she pretended to give me a threatening look.

"No, don’t force me," I pretended to sound annoyed, hoping that they would just give up and let me be.

"It's a Friday, what are you going to be doing at home? Watching dramas then going into hibernation?" Nana looked at me unamused, knowing that that was part truth.

"Yeah, pretty much." I didn't even feel like defending myself.

"Lame." Nana laughed obnoxiously while Haeryung nodded in agreement. "We're on summer break and we haven't done anything fun in a while, so let's go."

"No."

"Hmm, yes! If you don't like it then we'll go home right away. Promise."

Knowing Nana who was not a person that great at keeping promises, I wanted to laugh out loud but still putting on my annoyed disguise, I crossed my arm and shook my head.

"We. Are. Going." Haeryung and Nana said in unison while looking at me with forceful stares.

- - -

Somehow things didn't go as I planned. In the next moment, I found myself plopped on Haeryung's bed while she dug through her closet.

She threw me a black haltered cropped top and a pair of denim blue shorts. "You wear this."

I picked up the two items and looked at it. Although they were cute, I couldn't imagine myself wearing it because first of all it wasn't really my style and secondly I prefer to wear something more conservative.

"No you wear it." I threw the items back at her.

"What are you going to wear? That?" She pointed her finger to what I currently wore, a plain white v-neck shirt tucked into a pair of destroyed light blue skinny jeans.

"It's not like we're going to anything risque, right? So what’s wrong with my outfit?"

"Chorong, it's a p-a-r-t-y. Wearing something so casual won't match with that atmosphere. Plus, I heard some people from high school and cute boys are going to be there." She emphasized on the word boys so I could get her point.

"So you're telling me to dress to impress?"

"Yeah, basically. Who knows who you might meet?" She continued to dig in her closet to find an outfit for herself. She pulled out a lined sequinned grey halter top with cutouts on the sides and a pair of high-waisted black shorts and began to strip out of the clothes she was wearing.

"Yahh what are you doing!" I closed my eyes, feeling embarrassed.

"Seriously?" Haeryung tossed her head back and laughed.

"I just feel like I'm invading privacy." I rolled my eyes and turned to a different direction.

Haeryung was an open minded and confident person; she didn't really care about others have to say about her, but I was the opposite of that, thus I didn't like to show off my body to others. Maybe it was just my insecurity.

"How are you ever going to be in front of the man you love?" Haeryung slipped into her shorts and looked at Chorong with curious eyes.

"Can we not talk about this?"

"I'm just curious. What would happened during your first time?" Haeryung suggestively raised her brows up and down, trying to dig deeper in my future (maybe) non-existent life. The topic of was easy for Haeryung to talk about; it was something she had experience in as she had lost her ity to her ex-boyfriend.

"Yah it won't happen anytime so do not worry."

"Kay, go change." She handed me the clothes and gestured me to the bathroom.

- - -

It was now a quarter until seven and we were on our way to the party hosted by a guy of the name Chanyeol. Nana who wasn't with us, had told us to meet at the party. This was my first time going to a party and so I felt nervous during the car ride and to make matters worse, all Haeryung could talk about during the ride was boys. Boys. Boys. Boys. Yep, it definitely didn't feel like a good start to this night.

When we arrived at the place, there was a group of people standing outside drinking and talking, and Nana was one of them. As she spotted us, she waved us over and began to introduce us to the guy named Chanyeol. He towered over us even though we were wearing heels. He greeted us with a bright smile, flashing all his teeth as if it was his last.

Haeryung who seemed to be struck by cupid's bow, had her eyes glued to Chanyeol as he escorted us into his mansion-like house.

"Wow." I glanced at the brightly litted hall as he guided us to a dimmed room where about twenty or so people were dancing to the blasting music.

Haeryung who was quick on her wits and moves, immediately linked arms with Chanyeol and dragged him to the dance floor.

Dang that girl sure moves fast.

Nana noticed too and signaled us to go somewhere else. As she gestured me to sit on a stool, she went to grabbed us drinks.  I sat alone in the corner feeling self-conscious as the crowd got bigger and the room got more heated. I looked around the room, hoping Nana would return quick but knowing the slacker she was, I knew not to expect so much. As my gaze fell on a group of unfamiliar looking guys, one directed his gaze in my direction, smiled and turned back to his conversation with his friends.

Weird? Creepy? But maybe that's how party works. People make eye contact, approach one another, become acquainted with each other, and who knows what happens after? But in my case, that was just not going to happen. Although, I have no experience in guys, I was most definitely not seeking for love in this kind of place - and most definitely not a one night stand.

 I scratched my head, getting irritated because of my top that kept riding up with every slight movement I made and for slacker Nana for doing a great job at taking forever. About what seemed like a lifetime later, Nana returned, apologized and handed me a cold drink.

"What is this?" I eyed the lemon-colored drink closely.

"Try it, it's not nasty, it’s fruity."

I took a sip of the drink, expecting myself to gag, but instead it had a delightfully refreshing, sweet, sour, and slightly bitter taste to it.

"Hmm, not bad." I took another sip, savoring the taste that lingered on my tongue.

"Yeah, I know you're not much a drinker so I got something light for you."

Thanks." I lifted up the cup and she did the same.

"Cheers- for you going out tonight." She clanked her cup against mine, chuckling as she did so.

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "Definitely."

"By the way, I just met some guys at the drink area that's why I took forever. They told me to come join them."

"Oh.." I looked down, disappointed that she was about to leave me.

"Oh no, you too. They told me to bring you too."

- - -

When we got to the other side of the room, where two parallel-aligned maroon sofas were, five guys around our age were already sitting there, talking and laughing.

When they noticed Nana and me walking towards them, one lifted his hands gesturing Nana to come over.

"Hey," he said as he told us to sit down beside him. "I'm Sungjae and I just met your weird- friend, Nana, a while earlier."

He had a cheeky grin on his face as Nana nudged him hard.

"I'm Chorong," I tried to muster the enthusiasm to introduce myself but it came out rather dull and dead.

The other three guys began to introduce themselves but one of them who sat on the opposite side of us, had his eyes glued to his cellphone.

"Yah, Suho. Gonna introduce yourself or no?"

The guy looked up from his cellphone and looked at me directly in the eye.  I was a bit taken back so I looked over to Nana who looked at Suho, waiting for him to say something.

When I looked back in his direction, he gave a small smile to me and Nana and nodded to acknowledge our presence but didn't say a word.

As Nana, Sungjae, and the other boys were engaged in a deep conversation, I found myself sitting there feeling like a complete loser, not really knowing what to say or do. No one seemed interested in talking to me because they were too into whatever they were doing. I was pretty much done with this whole party, it  honestly was not my thing. I missed my bed.

After what seemed like decades, Haeryung and Chanyeol came to join us with more drinks.

 Although Haeryung had left me and Nana for pretty much the whole party, I couldn't blame her, maybe she found someone who will treat her right this time- but I couldn't judge that too quickly because they had just met.

Later everyone in the group was playing cards besides me and the cellphone-obsessed guy named Suho. I wasn't interested and I was already tired even though it wasn't even midnight yet. I slouched and leaned my head against the sofa, feeling like all the energy in my body was slowly draining away.

Moments later, I felt a plop in the left seat  beside me that was empty earlier. I turned to see the cellphone-obsessed guy, sitting there without saying a word. In a place that was booming with music and laughter, all I could feel was the awkward silence between us.

"Sungjae made me sit here." The Suho guy offered an explanation as if he was implying I-don't-like-you-but-someone-forced-me-to-sit-here-so-don't-think-anything-of-it.

I turned to look in his direction but he was back to busying himself in his cellphone, playing games. He had spoke for the first time.

"Ahh," I said as if I understood. He gave the impression of not wanting to be talked to, thus I didn't say another word.

"Don't be a loser, Chorong. Play with us." Nana who didn't appear sober anymore, looked at me with her smeared mascara, laughing like a maniac.

"I-it's okay." The awkward tension was still in the air and this place was getting more unfamiliar by the minute.

I could feel Suho looking at Nana and me in the corner of his eye, probably wondering why I'm at the party if I was here to do nothing - but hey he was doing the same thing.

This party . I felt lonely although there was plenty of people around me and my friends couldn't even save me from this misery. To add on to this misery were these uncomfortable clothes and caked on makeup. I wanted to go home but I didn't want to ruin the mood, so I stood up and looked down at Nana, "Hey, I'm going to grab some fresh air outside okay? I'll be back."

Nana shooed me away, too drunk to even notice my absence.

As I went outside, it was empty except for a couple sitting on a bench and a few people smoking.

I let out a sigh and inhaled the air, only to find the myself in the mixture of smoke and the chilly air.

Should I go home? Or should I stay? They don't even notice I'm there but I should look after them right?

As I placed my hands into the pocket of my shorts, I looked up at the starry sky, feeling hopelessly lonely.

What did I get myself into tonight? Maybe I'm just not fun that’s why tonight is not fun.

I took my last inhale of the air outside and turned around to walk back inside.

"Hey."

 I looked up to see a dark figure stand in front of me. As my vision adjusted to the dark, I saw a pair of innocent doe-eyes looking straight at me.

"W-who are you?" I stuttered, afraid that I was about to get attacked.

"Just someone who's interested in talking to you."

I looked around to see the couple and smokers still occupied in what they were doing - cuddling and smoking. Uncertain of how to respond, I backed up a bit and took a closer look at the guy who had a slight smirk curled at the corner of his mouth.

"Did I come off too straightforward? Sorry about that. My name's Luhan." He extended out arm, waiting for me to shake his hand.

Immediately I came to recognize who he was. He was the guy that I made eye contact earlier when I was waiting for Nana.

I didn't move. I didn't respond to his gesture. I was done with tonight. I wasn't looking for a hookup or whatever he was looking for. So without a word, I pushed passed him and stepped back into the house.

- - - - - 

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