The Sea

The Sea
Looking up from underneath
Fractured moonlight on the sea
Reflections still look the same to me
As before I went under
And it's peaceful in the deep
Cathedral where you cannot breathe
No need to pray, no need to speak
Now I am under all
Oh, and it's breaking over me
A thousand miles out to the sea bed
Found the place to rest my head

 

It’s the same dream every night; the sun drops behind the sea and in the dark, Jaebum’s lungs fill with icy water and he’s struggling for air when he opens his eyes, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. It began a month ago when Jaebum took a trip to the beach with his friends. He'd found a shell that he thought was singing. Even after throwing it out, he could still hear the soft voice when he closed his eyes.
He notices him for the first time in November. He’s soaking wet and smells like the sea. Jaebum tries to ignore him as his friends easily do. They continue with their stroll down the pier, their conversations not wavering in the slightest. Jaebum watches him, his dark hair  wet and stuck to his face, his teeth chattering from the cold, his shoes squelching as he walks by. Jaebum quickly realizes that this person hangs out on the pier all the time, he’s just never seen him before. It seems now that he’s seen him once, he can’t stop seeing him.  He sees him every day he comes here (and he’s been coming a few times a week since the first time). Sometimes he’s wet, other times he’s not. A month goes by before the curiosity breaks Jaebum out of his comfort zone.  
“What’s your name?”
He doesn’t answer right away. His legs are dangling over the wooden banister and his eyes are fixed on the rolling sea ahead.
“Jinyoung.” He looks at Jaebum and he swears he can see the sea crashing in his eyes. He doesn't have the dream again for another month.

Jaebum gets teased by his friends for talking to him. He hadn’t noticed before but Jinyoung is a student at his school. He looks different in uniform. His hair is combed back and his eyes don’t look like swirling pools of black water. At lunch, Jinyoung eats alone on the baseball field.
“You’re not supposed to eat out here, you know.” Jaebum says, joining him on the ground. Jinyoung closes his lunchbox.
“What do you want?” Jaebum’s a little put off by the question. He doesn’t really want anything. He doesn’t know why this odd kid has this pulling effect on him. In all honesty, he just wants to talk to him, to be his friend. He’s not entirely sure why. He thinks it has something to do with all the peaceful night’s he’s been having since they met. That weird singing he's been hearing.
“Nothing.”
“Then why are you here? Why do you keep following me?”
“I haven’t been-”
“You have. I’ve seen you at the pier. You never take your eyes off me.” Jaebum doesn’t know what to say. He just sits there, blushing.Jinyoung laughs lightly to himself. “I guess it’s just weird for me. No one really even knows I exist so when someone does, I notice.”
“I’m sorry.” Jaebum says, absently. He’s watching Jinyoung’s lunch box jump and jerk in his hands.
“I…meet me at the pier later, okay?” Jinyoung stands up and grabs his stuff. “I gotta go.” Jaebum notices a few brilliant white pearls and tiny pink and white sea shells scattered around the grass where he’d been sitting.  

Jaebum gets to the pier later than he wanted. After studying and falling asleep on the bus and missing his stop, it’s almost dark when he finds Jinyoung. He’s wet again and holding his sleeve to his mouth.
“What happened?” Jaebum asks, gesturing to the obvious wound. There’s a line of blood from his lip to his chin and his white shirt is soaking in the color.
“You just missed your friends.” Jinyoung says, keeping his eyes low.
“I’m sorry. I’ll talk to them.” Jaebum tries to grab Jinyoung’s wrist but he pulls away. Jaebum shoves his hands into his pockets, feeling embarrassed.  “It’s cold.”
Jiyoung wiggles his sore jaw around with the palm of his hand.
“You wanna go inside?”
“Sure.” Jaebum assumes he means inside one of the many restaurants that line the pier but he soon realizes that’s not what Jinyoung meant at all. It’s a cold, damp evening with wind that nips at your nose and finger tips and Jaebum feels uncomfortable trudging through wet sand and rocks. He follows Jiyoung though because he’s curious and he doesn’t want his dream to come back. Behind the big, shiny, black rocks that all the couples make out on in the summer is another giant rock further down the shore. It’s there that a huge hole has been carved out and Jinyoung leads him into it. It’s slightly warmer inside the cave but it’s dark and eerie.
“I would’ve started the fire earlier but I thought you weren’t coming.” Jinyoung says. Jaebum watches him move around pieces of wood in a hole in the sand. A flame grows in his hand and he puts it onto the wood, the flames quickly engulfing it.
“You...you don’t live here, right?” Jaebum asks. Jinyoung smiles shyly.
“Of course not.”
“What is this place then?”
“I just like to hang out here.” The two boys sit around the fire in silence for a few moments. Jaebum notices quite a few large conch shells like the singing one he found, dead jellyfish and huge heaps of seaweed and kelp scattered around the cave.
“How…how’d you find this place?” Jaebum asks, feeling a chill run down his spine. Jinyoung shrugs.
“I was looking for a place to hide one day.” They exchange glances and Jaebum can see the dark water swirling in his eyes again.
“Do you have to hide a lot?”
“A few times a week, I guess.”
“And you brought all this stuff in here?” Jinyoung nods.
“Why?”
“It makes me feel at home.”

Jaebum quickly finds out just how much time Jinyoung actually spends at the beach. He checks the cave a few times a week. Sometimes he’s there, sometimes he isn’t. Jaebum likes it there. It's calm and quiet. The feeling of constantly being pulled towards it eases up once he’s actually there.  Any time he asks if anyone has seen him, he’s told to check the pier. He goes every single day after school. Sometimes just to observe the currents, other times to collect shells and seaweed that’s been washed up on the shore. And other times he swims out. The first time Jaebum sees him paddling out, he’s worried. Jinyoung swims way out past the buoys. So far that Jaebum loses sight of him and instinctively races to the shore. Knee deep and freezing in the icy water, he waits. Jinyoung returns after about 10 minutes with purple lips and fierce storm grey eyes.
“What are you doing?” Jinyoung asks, pulling off his soaking wet uniform jacket.  
“What are you doing?” Jaebum returns the question with more bite than he intended. Jinyoung stops walking and looks at him for a while.
“Were you…were you waiting for me?” Jaebum shoves his cold hands into his pockets.
“I didn’t know what you were doing. I didn’t know how well you could swim…” Jinyoung blushes and bites his lower lip.
“Look, I can swim fine, okay? And I don’t like you being at the cave without me. That’s…that’s mine, okay?”  
"Alright. I'm sorry."
"And this whole thing," he shivers against the chilly, evening breeze. "You coming here and watching me...I don't know if I like it."
"You don't like me coming here or you don't like anyone? Because I'm the only one who's ever bothered to talk to you."
"Your right. But I didn't ask you to talk to me. I didn't ask for you to keep showing up."
"You asked me to come to the cave that night." Jinyoung lets out a long sigh.
"I did and I'm sorry but I don't think we can be friends."
"Why not?"
"You’ll end up getting hurt."

That night Jaebum has the dream again. The sun drips down behind the horizon and black overtakes the ocean. It's cold and the air smells like salt and the swaying water is up to his waist. Someone is standing there in front of him but he can't see who it is. It's too dark. There's a rumbling under the water, as if the sea floor is cracking and Jaebum's lips go numb. The drowning begins as he's standing there, his head still above water. He wakes up in cold sweat, his heart pounding, gasping for air.
Jinyoung isn't at school the next day so Jaebum waits for him to show up at the pier. It's almost 8 pm before he does and he pretends he doesn't see Jaebum standing by the entrance of the cave.
"Jinyoung," Jaebum's voice echoes in the silence. "I just needed to see you really quick. I keep having this dream and it's really...it's terrible and if we're not talking I'm gonna keep having it." Jinyoung finally looks at him.
"Come in."


In the morning, Jaebum wakes up to what sounds like someone trying to break plastic with a rock. The cave is facing the sun rise and for once, everything inside is illuminated. The piles of shells and seaweed have grown considerably and Jaebum notices the many empty bottles of sparkling water in a pile on the caves left wall. As he gets up, he sees a trail of teal and purple slime leading to the outside of the cave. It's also covering his shoes and pant legs. It gets on his hands as he tries to wipe it off. It's warm and smells like fish. The specks of gold and silver intermixed with it glisten in the morning light and makes it nearly impossible to look at it for long. There are also about one hundred or so shiny, white pearls scattered around where Jinyoung had been sleeping. Outside there's a lobster that's been torn apart and a fish head. Jinyoung is nowhere in sight. Not wanting to be in anymore trouble with his parents, Jaebum leaves without waiting for him to come back.

It's Saturday so Jaebum goes to the mall with his friends. After buying some new shoes (the glittery goo wouldn't come off of his old ones) he heads across the street to the shopping center where a small aquarium has just opened up. 
"Can I help you?" The sales person asks with a smile. Jaebum feels silly but he shows them his old shoe.
"Do you know what kind of fish leaves this....this slime?" They take his shoe and examine it for a moment. 
"I'm not sure. Do you have a fish at home?"
"No. I was at the beach...there's this cave and it was in there." 
"Well, I'm not sure this came from any fish. I could just be residue that's in the cave. I can ask my aunt though. She's not here right now but she knows a lot about marine life. She used to teach oceanography at the university."
"Okay, thanks. I'll come back next weekend." 

Jinyoung's wet again and sitting on the wooden banister above the beach. Jaebum leans his upper body over the edge and hands him a bottle of sparkling water. Jinyoung smiles and takes it.
"You left early." He says, unscrewing the cap. 
"I didn't want my parents to freak out." 
"Are you in trouble?"
"No. They didn't even realize I didn't come home." Jinyoung finishes his drink in a few long gulps and sticks the empty bottle into his jacket pocket. "I'll take that." Jaebum offers. Jinyoung hands the bottle to him and Jaebum notices a slight webbing between his fingers, the skin there an almost translucent, pearly white. 
"What about your parents? Don't they get upset that you swim in your clothes every day?" Jinyoung laughs.
"My parents," he says, shaking his head. "They don't even know where I am." 
"What do you mean?"
"I mean...I mean I don't live with them. I live alone." 
"Why?"
"We couldn't come to an agreement." 
"So they kicked you out? That's a little harsh."
"I left."
"So, you're a runaway?"
"I guess. It's just...now I can't ever go back."
"Not even if you just agree to what they want?" Jinyoung is quiet for a moment. Jaebum watches him watch the sea. It looks choppy and unsteady today. The few fishing boats that are out are being tossed around. They look like toy boats about to be smashed into pieces by the merciless waves.
"There's one thing I could do but I don't think I can do it." 
"What is it?"
"I can prove to them how sorry I am for leaving and ask them to take me back as their son." 
"Just do it. I mean, if you really want to go back."
"To do that, I'd need to take them the heart of a human." Jinyoung lets his words hang in the open, enjoying the look of pure fear spreading across Jaebum's face. "I'm just kidding." 
"Are you?" Jaebum says, forcing a laugh. 
"Of course." 

Jinyoung is MIA for a few days and it effects Jaebum's sleep so much, he decides it would be better to wait for him at the cave than to keep trying to sleep in his own bed. When he does sleep, the dream only intensifies and he wakes up feeling weightless, as if he's floating on the ocean's surface. Jinyoung finally returns again late Thursday night, soaking wet and covered in blueish green scales. When Jaebum wakes up in the morning, doesn’t remember if he had been dreaming but there's more glittery slime everywhere, even on the cave walls and there are fish carcasses everywhere. 
"What...is all this?' Jaebum asks, trying not to step in the slime again. Jinyoung is shirtless and sitting on the rocks just outside the cave. 
"I...I think I'm dying." He doesn't take his eyes off the ocean.
"What are you talking about?" 
"You know how I told you before that I didn't want you coming around anymore?" Jaebum nods. "But...but you said seeing me made your bad dream stop."
"Yeah."
"I think...I think us being like this is really bad." Jaebum doesn't understand. Jinyoung stands up so Jaebum can see the slime covering his waist and hips, the scales on his shoulders and forearms looking even more brilliant in the sunlight. 
"W-what's happening to you?" Jaebum asks, reaching out to touch Jinyoung's arm. He feels cold and stiff. Jinyoung runs his fingers through his hair. 
"I have to go back." He whispers.
"Back where?" 
"Home." 
"Where is that?" Jinyoung looks at Jaebum for a while, his eyes rolling like the sea again. 
"You don't know, do you? Damnit...you don’t have the shell anyomore, do you?"
"Jiyoung, what are you talking about. What don't I know?"
"If you don't know, I can't tell you. Just....look at me." Jaebum looks at him for a long time. He thinks they look similar. Young, thin, average height, dark hair, pale skin. Jinyoung is more handsome though, he thinks. He looks delicate but his eyes are strong. Jaebum notices they're a dark, smokey grey color now. Jaebum notices a lot of things but he can't understand what Jinyoung is trying to tell him. It's as if a wall has blocked off a portion of his brain. The scales, the slime, the cave, the seaweed and shells are all clues but he can't form an answer. Jinyoung sighs and grabs his shirt from the back of the cave. 
"I'm gonna be gone for a while again." He says.
"How long?" Jaebum asks, following him down to the shore. 
"Until Monday, probably. I can't miss anymore school." 
"Where are you going?" Jinyoung answers Jaebum with a quick kiss on his lips.
"That should keep the dreams away for a little while." 

When Jaebum dreams the dream that night, it's calm and peaceful. He welcomes the water into his lungs and it drowns him sweetly. When he wakes up, his fingers are coated with the sparkly slime. 

On Saturday Jaebum goes back to the aquarium where he's met with an older, heavy set woman who tells him she has been studying his shoe. 
"Oh...so do you know what this stuff is?" Jaebum asks. She hands him the shoe and a map of the shoreline. 
"It's not easy to explain. Could you mark on the map where you got this on you?" 
"Sure..." Jaebum thinks it's not a good idea to give away Jinyoung's special place so he marks some place a few miles down from where the cave actually is. 
"Was there anything else there in that cave?" She inquires somewhat impatiently.
"Like what?"
"Anything. Anything interesting or....strange?"
"Uh...lots of seaweed and shells..." He leaves out the pearls because he doesn't know how Jinyoung got them. She nods and rubs her chin with her chubby hand.
"If you see anything...or anyone interesting there, please let me know, alright?" She gives Jaebum a huge, forced smile. 
"Okay." He leaves feeling more confused than before. 

Back at school, Jaebum breaks away from his friends at lunch and finds Jinyoung looking rather upset sitting by himself beside the water fountain. 
"You okay?" He asks, throwing his arm around his shoulder. Jinyoung quickly wipes his tears and scoots away from Jaebum. 
"I'm....fine."
"You're lying."
"I will be fine."
"Are you going to the pier today?"
"Yeah." Jaebum looks up at the sky where Jinyoung is also looking. Looming above are huge, dark grey storm clouds. They mirror Jinyoung's eyes and it makes Jaebum feel uneasy. 
"It's probably gonna rain."
"It's okay."
"Are you gonna hang out at the cave?"
"I don't know what I'm gonna do." Jinyoung snaps. He runs his fingers through his hair and kicks the side of the water fountain. "I don't know anything. Just...leave me alone now, okay?"
"Why?" 
"Because." Jinyoung grabs his bag. "This isn't good for me. I was supposed to have done this by now but I just can't get myself to do it and I really, really like you. I do and I don't want to hurt you. So please, don't come back to the cave, okay? I don’t know how much longer I can do this."
"But I don't underst-" Jaebum's words are cut off by Jinyoung's warm mouth pressed against his. 
"You're dream will stop now, okay? And I'm sorry I called you. I didn't know what I was doing." Jinyoung leaves and Jaebum keeps the pearls that were left there. Jaebum thought he’d have the chance to give them back to him but Jinyoung doesn’t come back. Jaebum digs through his trash and finds the shell he’d found on the beach that day. It’s no longer singing.
Jaebum’s surprised with how quickly his life returns to normal. He doesn’t even think about Jinyoung anymore. There aren’t any more dreams of the ocean and he doesn’t feel an aching in his bones every time the goes to the beach. He’s only been once and he couldn’t remember where the cave was.


It was a snowy evening in January when Jaebum was cleaning his room and found a handful of Jinyoung’s pearls. He decides to go down to the beach to see if maybe he’s still hanging around there. He thinks it was a horrible idea. It’s freezing and dark and ugly out. Still, he feels like he should give the pearls back so he trudges through snow and then sand to see if he can find the cave. To his surprise, he finds it quite quickly but it’s been blocked off with yellow tape. There seems to be some kind of scientific set up inside. There are tables with lab equipment and microscopes and cameras everywhere. Tacked up on the cave wall are the words MERMAID SIGHTING.
Down on the beach, Jaebum buries the pearls in the sand and waits. He thinks about the slime and the scales and the seaweed and the shells. He thinks about the words in the cave. Way out in the waves he thinks he can see someone swimming. Of course, it couldn’t actually a person. The water was too cold to swim in this time of year. He watches them swim, slowly making their way closer to shore. Jaebum can’t believe it but, as the person gets closer, he sees that it’s Jinyoung. He smiles to himself, thinking how crazy this is, how completely crazy these past few months have been. Jinyoung motions for Jaebum to come in and Jaebum obeys. The water isn’t as cold as he thought it would be. He’s waist deep and Jinyoung swims up to him, his blue and gold tail sparkling underneath the black water.
“Are you going to explain?” Jaebum asks, with a smile.
“You still don’t know?”
“Not enough.” Jinyoung puts his arms on Jaebum’s shoulders and he watches his tail morph into legs right before his eyes.
“I got into some trouble back home…big trouble. So I had to leave. I was supposed to stay here forever…alone. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t deal with the kids at school or the weather or life up here. So I asked if there was a way I could redeem myself. My father said there was one way: I had to bring him a human heart. I wanted it to be one of those boys who were mean but it couldn’t be them. It had to be someone I cared about. Someone I liked. So I left the shell there for you to find. I knew you’d come to me then. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do that to you.” Jaebum lets all that register in his mind before he speaks.
“So what are you doing now? Have you…have you given your parents someone else’s heart?”
“No. I can’t do it. I can’t hurt anyone.” It starts to snow again but Jaebum feels fine, as if the water isn’t below freezing at all. Everything feels comfortable.
“So you’ll just live here?” Jinyoung nods, tears forming in his eyes.
“I have to. There’s nowhere else to go. I….I don’t think I’ll be around much longer though. I feel really weak and it’s hard to keep my tail. It comes and goes, I have no control over it.” Jinyoung’s crying is a high pitched scream that makes the water tremble. He has a desperate look in his eyes. He looks afraid.
“It’s okay. I’ll stay here with you. We can kick them out of the cave and I’ll help you…I’ll help you find another way back.” The sun drops behind the horizon and the last bit of light is out of the sky. The ocean is black and Jinyoung’s eyes are a brilliant electric blue.
“There is no other way.” Jinyoung’s mouth latches onto his and his kiss is Jaebum’s lungs filling with icy water. He struggles to catch his breath. There’s a loud rumbling, as if the ocean floor is cracking. He looks into Jinyoung’s eyes, his tears turning into pearls as they fall. This death seems all too familiar. Like a dream he’s had before.

 

 

a/n: i think the idea/plot for this story is beyond my writing abilities but I really wanted to write this. And for those of you who might be confused, JB does die ;^; jr has to get back home, right? 

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red_kpop97
#1
Chapter 1: Wow, merman au!

So Jinyoung called Jaebum with the shell with intention to kill him?
What about the nightmare? Some kind of warning or side effects from the 'spell' Jinyoung do?
I have so much questions but ugh, the ending shocked me so much I forgot the questions.

I wonder what would happened if Jaebum didn't tell the aquarium owner about the slime. Would that change a thing?
Jaebum is so dense for not knowing even though there's pearls everywhere.
I'm glad it's not usual mermaid thing that the mermaid turn into foam or anything, but I'm sad Jaebum had to die (T_T)

Could I cry, because why the hell JJ couple is so angsty everywhere?
It's really beautiful and touching, all the emotions get relayed so well.
I hope you would write another beautiful fics like this again in the near future. Until then~ (^w^)/
tootoothree #2
Chapter 1: This. is. so. BEE-YOO-TI-FUL!!! ;A; The melancholic tone, mermaid tears, the ending, everything! Its sad but I can only imagine that Jinyoung would be unhappy either way? Imo this was really well written. I enjoyed it, heartbreaking though it was. ^^
psycho_d
#3
Chapter 1: I cried ! Damnnn idk why but i ing cry TT____TT
OMG, they still cant be together at last :'(
poor my precious OTP :'(
This story is beautiful although its heartbreaking... i love it ♡
keep writinv more story about them.. i swear i gonna read it...
HinanDyan #4
Chapter 1: How beautiful... How could you write such a story like this? The way you tell us is so pretty~ like it!!!^^
Btw, i'm a bit confused in the end, is jinyoung make it both of them dead in the end or jinyoung is the one that turn into something? But overall i really love your idea for jjp like this :)