it’s been them for a long time, ever since they were kids, ever since dongwoo first learnt to take his first footsteps. their mothers brought them together, pretty much raised them together. it was like that, living as neighbours. 

they made up their own language, gibberish really, dongwoo still remembers some parts of it. he isn’t sure if sunggyu does. 

sunggyu catches him staring and dongwoo smiles. sunggyu doesn’t necessarily smile back, but dongwoo knows he’s not upset with him, annoyed with him. 

they’re eighteen, sitting on the bleachers one late evening. school has ended, it’s summer, they graduated but they’re still coming back to the school, it’s not far away from their street. 

sunggyu tells him about his decision for university (again), that he plans to major in music theory, composition. they’ve gone over it so many times before, dongwoo knows what sunggyu wants to do in the future like the back of his hand. it upsets him (hurts him?) every time they talk about it. they’re going to split roads. they are both going to separate cities and dongwoo thinks he could ditch his scholarship and go with sunggyu, but he doesn’t let sunggyu know that. 

he bites his tongue hearing sunggyu say he’ll miss him. he figures that it would take a lot for sunggyu to say that, he’s rarely heard it coming from sunggyu, he knows that he himself, he throws around the phrase a lot.  

his crush, his feelings for sunggyu, they came late. the realisation that he has romantic feelings for him first came when he saw sunggyu happy with someone else. it came when he had little words to comfort sunggyu with after a break-up. 

dongwoo sets down his can of beer, words getting stuck in his throat as he meets sunggyu’s eyes. he’s asked what’s the matter and dongwoo wants to tell him, before they split off, before it will take weeks before he gets to see sunggyu again. 

he tells sunggyu he’ll miss him, his voice trembling with insecurity and sunggyu furrows his brows in confusion. dongwoo rubs his hands over his thighs nervously, avoiding the gaze from sunggyu. 

saying the words i’ve had a crush on you for two years, s-still do? wasn’t easy, he forces them out in whispers, his voice much lower than he expected them to be. he lowers his head, his face is hot with embarrassment, fingers twitching because he’s met with silence. sunggyu can be silent sometimes, but the silence between them now, the tension, dongwoo wants to run away. 

instead, he begins to ramble, talking way too fast, slipping over his words about how he came to the conclusion that he liked him, why he says it now, why he can’t bring himself to keep it to himself. he tells sunggyu he can’t imagine himself without him by his side. it’s always been you and me, sunggyu. i can’t see myself with anyone else. 

the silence from sunggyu’s side is piercing, it brings him to tears but he only does his best to blink them away, to not let them fall. 

i’ve been waiting for you to say something. dongwoo’s eyes widen hearing the words and he wants to tell him that it’s not the right moment to joke around, but instead sunggyu tells him to come closer. he can’t bring himself to, so sunggyu does instead. their knees touch and dongwoo can’t take his eyes off him. he wonders if it’s real, if he’s going to wake up and hear nothing about this. if reality is going to slap him in the face and he’ll never, never ever confess to sunggyu.  

but he doesn’t wake up, it’s not a dream, because sunggyu grabs him by the neck and pulls him in for a chaste kiss. it’s as real as it can bet. sunggyu’s lips are soft against his and dongwoo feels the biggest relief wash over him. 

the kiss only lasts that long, for sunggyu to let it linger before dongwoo starts shedding tears. desperately wiping them away because if now sunggyu was going to accept his feelings, he didn’t want his crying to ruin the moment. sunggyu laughs, his soft laugh that rumbles in his chest and has dongwoo’s cheeks flush. 

of course you’re going to cry. 

dongwoo hits his shoulder in return.