Jiyong loved the way Seunghyun's eyes crinkled up in delight, whenever he heard a funny story or managed to make them all laugh, himself. Seunghyun reveled in these kinds of situations, always begging for his friend’s attention, in a shy, introverted way, like a little boy would, tugging at his mothers skirt.

He loved that side of Seunghyun, loved how he was too shy to ask for attention and just awkwardly tried to make them pay attention. To make Jiyong pay attention.

Jiyong liked girls doing that, too.

Looking into his Hyung’s eyes, always made the Leader feel fuzzy. He could lose himself into those deep, dark orbs, begging him with his own, to never let him go. He was sure his Hyung wouldn’t do that. He knew he wouldn’t feel fuzzy, like the younger did. Jiyong didn’t want that either. He didn’t feel fuzzy, did he? It might only be food poisoning, after all...

Still… Seunghyun had beautiful eyes.

A lot of girls had beautiful eyes, too.

His lips were thin, but kissable and the fierce leader did often find himself staring them, frequently missing out on what the older had to tell him. Jiyong regretted, not listening, not wanting to miss out on a single part of what Seunghyun had to offer him. He was determined to listen the next time around.

He’d find himself distracted by those inviting lips, only seconds later, tho.

Sometimes, whenever a women’s mouth reminded him on his Hyung’s, he’d find himself distracted by hers, too.

Willingly taking what she had to offer, what he knew, he’d never get from Seunghyun.

They had known each other for so long, that lots of things had gotten natural between them and the younger often twirled his Hung’s silken, raven strands between his fingers, marveling at their softeness and tucking them away, whenever they got in the way of his friends eyesight.

Never did he feel comfortable enough, to do that for one of his girlfriends.

It just didn’t feel natural.

The older rapper had a bad habit of furrowing his eyebrows, whenever he thought hard about something.

Which was always.

Jiyong yearned to make them disappear, to cease them, he longed to trace those high cheekbones with soft, wandering fingers, cupping his cheeks and covering that strong, chiseled jaw with butterfly kisses.

The women, he used to be with, didn’t ever think about the things, Seunghyun brooded over.

The women, he used to be with, didn’t ever see the world, the way Seunghyun saw it.

The women, he used to be with, were afraid of getting wrinkles.

Seunghyun was afraid of other things.

He was tall. Handsome. Had a long, slender neck. It looked inviting towards Jiyong. Tempting. It never failed to be distractive, seeing tiny droplets of sweat, running down that gracious neck of his. Sometimes he’d catch himself, staring, only pulled out of his trance when the maknae begged for his favorite Hyung’s attention.

Almost all the girls had long, slender necks, too.

Jiyong couldn't care less.

Muscular arms were embracing him, pressing him into a strong chest. He felt secure, at home, engulfed and guarded by muscled arms and a toned body.

How could he not feel safe?

He felt always safe, with Seunghyun by his side.

He did guess, that girls felt safe with him, too.

Jiyong tended to be nervous, right before variety shows begun. He was never nervous on stage. He felt at home on stage.

But variety shows…

Seungri was good at variety, Daesung was good, Youngbae managed and Seunghyun, Seunghyun had them all wrapped around his fingers within seconds, his good looks and boyish charms, pulling anyone in, who came across him.

Jiyong was nervous and restless, sleepless nights leading up to all their variety appearances, leaving the group’s leader in a jumbled mess.

The hands and the fingers which had them all wrapped around, were giving him sanctuary in those moments

Thin, elegant digits, wrapping around his own, shaking ones, giving him something to hold onto. Giving him the strength to do it. To keep going.

Holding hands with Seunghyun, seemed right.

It never felt right, with anyone else.

Seunghyun had a charming smile. The most charming one, one might say. He was an actor after all. He had that kind of boyish charm, that kind of alluring smile, that kind of melodious, enchanting laugh that just pulled you in. The younger felt funny, whenever that beautiful, beautiful smile, was directed towards him.

And Jiyong was left breathless.

Many girls had beautiful smiles, cute laughs.

Many of them were charming, too.

But neither of them managed to leave him breathless.

They used to lie awake, next to eachother, all night long. It was dark. Always dark. Jiyong hated the dark, when he was alone. He feared it. Seunghyun was, is, the only person, he ever told, he ever confided in. The older boy couldn’t sleep, with the lights on. He couldn’t even sleep with the door ajar.

Seunghyun didn’t leave the lights on, for Jiyong. He’d pull him in, against his chest and start telling him stories about his childhood, while, simultaneously, rubbing soothing circles over the younger boys shoulder blades.

 He told him about fights with his sister, about getting into trouble for smoking or underage drinking, about pet peeves and his own fears.

Hearing that his Hyung, role model, did fear some things himself, always made Jiyong feel better. The older never made fun of Jiyong’s fears and Jiyong never made fun of the olders.

He liked Seunghyuns stories better, than any fairytale.

He wasn’t sure if it was the other boy’s voice or the stories, which soothed him and he never thought about it, for too long. It didn’t matter why it helped, as long as it did, didn’t it?

He’d continue talking to Jiyong, until he fell asleep, a smile plastered on his face.

Dreams, Day Dreams, Wet Dreams and Reality alike, made him shiver with anticipation whenever Seunghyun would talk, the deep, soothing, warm voice, sending shivers down his spine.

His girlfriend’s voice never chased the nightmares away, never made the voices stop. Never made them shut up.

She thought of them, of him, as embarrassing.

Seunghyun never did that.

She did.

And her voice didn’t, ever, excite him.

Not even once.

It didn’t fill him with anticipation, for what she had to say and it never made his skin tingle with excitement.

He didn’t know, if it was her voice or her stories which bored, annoyed, him.

Probably both.

Jiyong felt threatened by T.O.P’s way of dancing. People always tended to throw a laughing fit, whenever ChoomTop appeared. Jiyong used to laugh along, as well. He’d laugh and then he’d catch all the tiny details, went unnoticed by all the others. Tabi's childlike excitement. Happiness radiating of him. The underlying insecurity. The shy glances towards his Leaders direction, asking for his support, his approval.

And the laugh gets stuck in his throat, just like that. The world halts for a moment.

Seunghyun can’t dance.

He is happy.

The majority of girls can dance.

But it never makes him happy.

Dimples. The leader’s eyes were always transfixed onto those cute dimples, never managing to pull his sight off of them. They just added up to Big Seunghyuns overall appearance, making him seem childlike. Heavenly.

Pure.

It was a bad, bad world.

And not many people out there, were pure.

The older Rapper looked good, classy dressed, smart in appearance, but occasionally he’d try to match some clothing by himself, always ending up looking rather absurd, but smiling proudly at his fashionista leader, nonetheless, waiting for a pat on the back.

Something Jiyong was always more than ready to give.

Somehow, he managed to look good, either way.

He had short, straight hair, his eyes piercing holes right through your skull, making you feel as if he was able to read your thoughts. That booming, deep voice could be pretty scary too and Jiyong was glad to never have gotten on the receiving end of his bad side. He was glad his Hyung mainly reserved that deep soothing voice for either, acts of kindness or random voice imitations, he always rehearsed in the shower, his loud yelling and singing of random lines, booming off the walls.

His lips were thin, pressed into a fine line, quivering with anger, whenever he was displeased or upset by something or someone, his eyebrows, more than often, twitching with discomfort too.

He moved like a dork tho and Jiyong couldn’t wallow in neither, sadness or self-pity, whenever choom top made an appearance. Having him as a friend was enough of a blessing, Jiyong decided. He should be thankful.

The Leader laughed along, sadness showing in his eyes.

He had a strong chest, his friend, Jiyong had seen it once, that glorious six-pack of his. He never understood why he was so insecure over his appearance. He looked like a Greek god, chiseled by Michelangelo himself.

Seunghyun was never insecure around him, though.

They’d often quarrel, the two of them. Rapper Line on Rough Housing Tours, as the others would call it. Seunghyun liked to get on his nerves and making him pissy, a lot. Jiyong knew that. Sometimes the eldest of the group would ignore his leaders order, out of spite, even though he knew that his Leader was right.

He’d never apologize, afterwards and the Leader never asked him to.

Seunghyun wasn’t perfect by any means.

He didn’t have full lips. His sense of fashion was…, unsteady…, for a lack of better words. He didn’t wear cute dresses, or had curly, long hair. His voice wasn’t thin or chirpy sounding and his eyes were never lined with eyeliner or eye shadow, ever. His lips weren’t full and painted red and he didn’t wear heels to make his long, smooth legs stand out better. His dancing wasn’t y. He didn’t move like the personified wet dream, like Jiyong’s girls, usually, moved like. There were no D or C cups either and his stubborn Hyung didn’t give into him easily like all of the girls did.

Hungry for fame, hungry for money.

They made him feel dirty and used.

Seunghyun was hungry for intimacy, hungry for love.

He made him feel as if he was pure and cherished.

Explaining Seunghyun was hard. He had a weird sense of humor and was awkward in all aspects of the word. Seunghyun was ridiculous most of the times and like a demanding toddler, craving affection and love and absorbing anything he'd get, like a black hole. His tauntrums caused him many headaches, as a leader and a friend alike. His stubborness was hard to deal with and his aegyo painful to look at. Seunghyun was messy too. Jiyong hated mess.

But he was Seunghyun and he made him happy.

None of the girls did ever make him happy.