in·gem·i·nate

/inˈjeməˌnāt/

verb

verb: ingeminate; 3rd person present: ingeminates; past tense: ingeminated; past participle: ingeminated; gerund or present participle: ingeminating

    repeat or reiterate (a word or statement), typically for emphasis.

He felt like the time has stopped right then.

No.

Kyungsoo tried to take as many air as he could just to keep his lungs work. Body trembling in nausea, he took a step forward.

No, please, no.

He gulped back when he realized that it’s happening again – no, it happened again.

Taciturnly, he spun around, dragging his stiffen limbs, and started to run.

Run.

But from what?

__________________________________________

It was his second time of cheating, or in a smoother way of saying, experimenting on fate.

Kyungsoo woke up to the scent of wet soil and spring rain. The sky was a shade of pearl white and dust gray. It was all the same, the way he woke up, the way he felt the stinging pain on his face and arms, the way he stood up and walk away only to stop in front of the apartment building, the way he met Jongdae on the sidewalk. Only that time, he remembered it all.

He remembered it all like rewinding back a movie; how his ear bled occasionally, how he joined the EXO garage, how he first met Kai that night at Incheon track, how he met Kai a lot after that, how they talked about car crashing and time traveling, how Kai ed him – indeed he remember that in details –, even how they created a silly talk about alternate universes. Familiar yet unfamiliar memories were mixed into his head.

"So what happened that day you got thrown back in time that made you go into an eight-month loop? Did you crash the Ferrari in this picture?" he remembered Kai staring at the Polaroid of them, thumb brushing against the sleek surface.

"Yeah, we did."

"We?" 

"We did it together. You and me." 

"In the same car?" 

"You said you wanted to try it. Sharing the experience, or something. Me into the past and you into the future at the same moment in time." But it didn’t work. 

Kai’s eyes were curious and child-like. "Maybe it's because we did it together that you got thrown back so far. Joined time-traveling forces or some . Maybe I got thrown forward that far, too." 

No. "Yeah. When my point of origin comes again, you wouldn't be there. You'd be, I don't know, eight months into the future or something." No. You were there, dead. 

"You sound like you'd miss me." he remembered Kai smiled, leaning over, cupping his cheek with his hand. "But yeah, that does sound like something I'd want to try."

Kyungsoo had wished that there would be no mistake.

But when he opened his eyes in a morning, the nausea came way too immediately. He got out of his apartment forthwith and made his way to the place he’s supposed to be with Kai at that time. He prayed with all his might that this time will be different. Maybe he was thrown back hours earlier. Maybe Kai was thrown hours later. Maybe they succeed and he only needs to wait for Kai to show up the day after. Maybe no one will be found in that wreckage of charred red metal down the side of the mountain.

But the people in the crowd he found when he got there were starting to gasp and whispered in a fuss as the officers around the wrecked Ferrari pulled out a barely recognized body carefully and immediately covered it with white plastic. He once again saw the dark hair matted with blood.

He threw up on the side of the road on the way back to his apartment. All felt too familiar for him. The pain. The loss. The hot and cold sensation simultaneously tingling inside his veins and nerves. Too familiar.

Kai died for the third time because of him.

Was it really because of him? Even when he was in his apartment again, when Jongdae came to offer his car key, he asked the same question over and over again. Was it because of him that Kai died? Was it really his presence in the current loop that influenced the crash? Was car crashing never meant for two bodies in the same occasion? Was it never meant for two bodies to jump out of the time at the very same moment?

“You’re a time traveler.” Jongdae stated at him. “Or well, car crasher.”

“Yes.” Kyungsoo was solemn and lost and trembling. “You knew it by the bleeding… and the writing on my palm.” When Jongdae raised an eyebrow, he shook his head. “You said that to me last time.”

Jongdae gave him a confused look. “Last time? What do you meant last –“ then he gasped, eyes flashed the horror he felt, “you, don’t tell me you’ve done this more than once already?”

The silence had taken the liberty to answer.

“You’re ing crazy! You can’t keep doing this – listen to me, stop right now! Stop whatever you’re doing and just forget whatever you’re planning to do. You can’t endanger yourself, Kyungsoo, it takes a lot for our bodies –“

“To jostle out of the time stream.” Kyungsoo finished it for him. “I know. You told me that too.”

Jongdae stared at him in disbelief. “Then why are you doing it again?”

“I’m… I’m trying to find the answer.”

“To what, Kyungsoo? To ing what?!”

‘Why him? Why him and not me? Why not both of us?’

Kyungsoo looked down on his feet. “To why Kai is the only one who died and not me, why not both of us.”

“We don't know how these things work, Kyungsoo.” Jongdae was trying to make him see. “Things just happen to us. Accidents, one after another. Maybe you were never meant to crash at the same time. Maybe one path was blocked by the other. Maybe he simply ran out of time.”

Maybe there's a limit to everything even when you learn to cheat time, Jongdae seemed to say. 

“Or maybe,” Kyungsoo stared up at him, a new light shining from his eyes – one that Jongdae feared of, “maybe if I had planned it well enough, I could find the answer, the reason, anything. Maybe if I had it planned, I could find the way to save him, to not have him dead.” To make Kai stay to be my future.

"There is no guarantee where the next crash will send you, Kyungsoo. Maybe a few months, maybe a few weeks, maybe even less. You might have to make several jumps backwards, or wait for a really long time. But you have to remember - our bodies are not –“

‘– meant to be jostled out of time continuously like this. The bleeding, the memory loss. We can't even write or draw a straight line anymore. What if you can't change this one accident because it's been set into motion by a chain of previous events? Even when you get back –‘

“– to the very beginning, what if you forget what you're there for? Rewriting a whole life path is not so simple, Kyungsoo.” Jongdae seems to never run out of words, but he’s completely loss at words after that.

“You’re wrong.” Kyungsoo’s eyes shone brighter, and Jongdae was truly scared of it. “I could rewrite it again. I will try to rewrite it again. Not like this time. I will make it different.”

He swore to make it different. Maybe if he does it in different way, Kai won’t have to die. Maybe he shouldn’t buy the Ferrari next time. He shouldn’t agree to any crazy plan Kai had persuaded him to. They shouldn’t go to the mountain side.

"Good luck," he heard Jongdae told him as he climbed into the driver's seat of the blue Hyundai.

Kyungsoo drove all the way up to the Bukak Mountain Skyway. The winter winds were harsh and biting. The view of Seoul was beautiful from all the way up there. The crash to the ground down below was rather shorter than he remembered.

---

It was his third time of experiment.

He wrote the best plan he had so far. Don’t buy the Ferrari. Don’t go to the mountain side. Don’t agree to anything Kai will suggest him to do. It sounds lame, but it should do. Anything.

"Hey, get a Ferrari."

But of course, Kyungsoo is a lost blank page of a paper when it comes to Kai.

"What?"

"C'mon, you've got the money, right?" Kai’s bright eyes were too familiar for him. "All that money in your bank account, for what? You could always make more, buy the right lottery ticket, bet on the right horse, something. Go all out. Forget boring little black BMWs, show off your money's worth. Get a Ferrari. Get the 458 Italia. It's stunning. It has a history of road accidents and bursting into flame."

“You said it yourself; it has a history of road accidents and bursting into flame. Why are you suggesting me to buy it anyway?” Why are you planning on your own death?

"Oh, come on, Kyungsoo, don’t be so boring!” it’s weird how it hurts for him whenever Kai grins at him as if he’s the best man in the world – because I am not. “Get a black one, so shiny we could see the sunset off it, or see ourselves in the reflection when we on top of it. Or maybe a classic red, that's really hot, too. I don't mind ing on top of a red Ferrari either."

He asked himself if jumping out of time too often could’ve made him stupid. He asked himself the same question as he showed up before Kai with the red Ferrari. But when he saw the raw excitement and awe in Kai’s eyes, all glittering and shining bright, he forgot what he was thinking about.

“.”

“Huh?”

“Keep driving.” Kai’s voice turned icy and alarmed. “Someone’s trailing behind us – .”

“What??” Kyungsoo stepped deeper on the accelerator, resulting the swoosh sound. “What?? Why??”

“One of those old men’s dogs. , they know I’m here.”

“But why would they –“

“They thought I stole their boss’ car and keep it instead of crashing it.” Kai huffs. “Keep driving. To Bukak.”

Kyungsoo slammed the steer, harshly making left turn. “Why would they think –“

“Because it’s the same as this car, ing Christ, just drive Kyungsoo!!” Kai shouted.

It was like a dramatic car chase until they arrived at the mountain side, and Kyungsoo starts to shiver. What now?

“Let’s crash this car instead. I’m sorry, it’s still new, I know, but I need to get away from them.” Kai grunts, looking back occasionally. He then turned to Kyungsoo and grinned. “You know what, it’s like we’re going to travel along the time at the same moment!”

No, please. “What are you talking about?!” You don’t know what happened when we did it.

They were nearing the edge of the cliff, and Kyungsoo was about to speak when he found Kai’s hand grabbing the steer without moving it. His lips met Kai’s when he glanced aside, and the kiss was wet and hot and rushed and too nostalgic.

When they pulled out, Kai flashed another grin. “See you some time in the future!”

Then Kai slammed the steer with his hand, resulting an abrupt swerve to the left, and the last thing he heard before they go down and crashed was Kai’s excited scream.

It was the spring rain again when he opened his eyes.

No numbers on his palm, but he oddly remember it.

---

It was the fourth time of his experiment when he tried something totally different.

He remembered vaguely that one time when Kai asked him about meeting his other version personally. He never really wanted to try it because he’s afraid of what will be happened once he does it. Will one of them disappear? Will there be a crack between the timeline? He was always too afraid to try, but he was willing. He had nothing to lose after all.

It was the rainy day when he went to grocery shopping, and the corner of his eyes caught the sight of Kai walking through the automatic glass door, soaked and tired. He surreptitiously scooted backward, disappearing between the aisles. He watched Kai grabbed a can of warm coffee and paid it, walked out of the minimarket afterwards. He sighed. Maybe if they didn’t meet too often, it will be different in the end.

He waited next to the black Genesis, waiting for his other version to show up. And when he finally spotted his other self, both of them stayed still, two meters away from each other.

“You…” his Double self speaks up, “what are you doing here? Is it alright to meet like this?”

“Well, one of us hasn’t disappeared yet, so I guess it’s fine.” Kyungsoo chuckled lowly, before he met the Double’s eyes. “Stop seeing Kai.”

“… what?”

“Stop meeting him. Put a distance. I don’t know. I ing don’t know. Just, don’t see him too often. Don’t spend too much time with him. Don’t him. I don’t care. Just don’t.”

The glints of confusion in Double’s eyes kind of relieved him. “I barely know him. I’m not planning to him or something like that.”

“You barely know him,” Kyungsoo huffs, “but I know him too much.”

“What? He broke your heart or something? I never know one of my selves will use time travel to mend a broken heart or warning my other self not to do some .”

“I killed him, okay?”

Double’s eyes went from annoyance to pure shock. “What?”

“I killed him. Not in the way you’re thinking about. The thing is, if only I didn’t involve myself with him, he wouldn’t have died.” If he didn’t involve himself with Kai since the very first place, they wouldn’t be there in the Ferrari; Kai wouldn’t suggest them to crash together. Kai would be alive.

“Wait, you’re the one who involved yourself with him,” Double eyed his other self, “but why are you warning me not to involve myself with him too?”

“Because he’ll be seeing both of us simultaneously without realizing it. He will think he’s seeing the same Kyungsoo, but no, he’s seeing both of us.” Kyungsoo’s voice blended into a plea. “Please, help me with this.”

Kyungsoo Double could only nod slowly. It’s his other self who’s pleading at him. He couldn’t say no. “Okay.”

However, before both of them went to their separate ways, there was Double’s last question.

“You, and I, we fell in love with Kai, didn’t we?” Double had asked.

Kyungsoo didn’t answer. His other self must’ve already known it either.

One morning, he went to the EXO garage just to make sure that his plan had succeeded. There was never a crash together. Kai had to be alive then. But all the hopes came to a crash when he found Luhan crouching down on the floor, sobbing as his arms draped on Sehun, who was sitting on the floor next to Luhan, eyes looking lifeless.

“What happened?” Kyungsoo was more than afraid to ask.

Kris came out first from the couch. “Kai was found dead yesterday at Bukak. He crashed a new red Ferrari.”

Kyungsoo could feel his limbs went stiff. “What?”

“Maybe he didn’t have the chance to get out of the car at the last moments.” Kris summarized. “That kid.”

He felt like the time has stopped right then.

No.

Kyungsoo tried to take as many air as he could just to keep his lungs work. Body trembling in nausea, he took a step forward. What now? His plan had failed miserably. Kai was still dead. Even without him, Kai drove and crashed on his own, and found dead.

Was Jongdae right all along? Maybe there is a limit. Maybe Kai ran out of time. Maybe it was his end when he crashed. Maybe he was meant to be dead at the moment. Like maybe if he didn’t die by a car crash, he would still die because of something else, like getting stabbed through the heart or fall from the top of some random building.

No, please, no.

He gulped back when he realized that it’s happening again – no, it happened again. It struck him harder than a lightning. Kai was really dead again.

Taciturnly, he spun around, dragging his stiffen limbs, and starts to run. He ignored Joonmyun’s screams of his name.

Run.

But from what? The destiny? His own failure? What?

And to where? To the past again? Back to eight months before again? For what?

Before he could find any proper answer to those questions, he found himself driving towards the mountain again.

---

It was a wave of wrenching nostalgia that brushed him awake when he opened his eyes.

It became a familiar sight when Kyungsoo wakes up to the scent of damp soil from the drizzles that greeted his nose in every breath he takes, for the fifth time already. It’s the spring rain again, where everything’s cold, and musty, and weary. He felt the familiar stinging pain on his face as he struggles to move his tired limbs against the cold, wet pavement. Everything inside him is aching, like they don’t want to work for him anymore, leaving him paralyzed and dumbfounded. It wasn’t like this before, he commented inside. The pain is more severe this time. Not that he really cares after all.

When he finally pushed his weight into a sitting position, he found the ground around him is stained with abstract dots of dark liquid that doesn’t really look like rain. Apparently the dark color matches with the raw scratches on his hands, the back of his arms, near his elbow, and maybe on his cheeks. He hisses when the pain on the raw wounds finally registered into his brain. He didn’t remember it to be so hurtful like this, but he doesn’t care.

The sound of his wildly beating heart echoes through his ears, blending along with the voice that came from his memory, the voice that sends tingles into his veins, wrenches his heart in a way he never thought it could. ‘Hey Kyungsoo, let's do it together, let's go out of control together!’

He shook his head. But the voice of laughter that came after only make him trembles more.

‘Just let go!’

He found himself stopping before the newspaper stand again, just like what he had done before and before of the before. He picks up one, gulping down another wave of memory as he reads the headlines. ‘Income Tax Rising by 2,4%’. He scoffs. ‘Mass Car Pile-up In Incheon's North Port’. He scoffs warily. Carefully he puts the newspaper back into its respective place. When he looks up afterwards, he found someone is staring at him from the lowered window of a blue Hyundai stopping at the side of the road, just before him.

"Hey." the driver smiles kindly at him, cheekbones rising along when he did so. "Want a ride? You look like you need one."

Kyungsoo sighs down, finding it funny without a reason. He looks up again and shook his head. “I’m fine.”

"You’re Kyungsoo, right? I've seen you around the race tracks. I’m Jongdae, by the way." the driver is still smiling, reaching out a hand through the car window to offer a handshake. For the sake of manners he stepped forward and grabbed the hand, pulling it away after a way too quickly. "And no, really, I insist. It's still raining, and you look like you've just gotten out the better side of a car crash." Jongdae’s eyes flickered towards his scraped arms. Kyungsoo pulls his hand back. "I'll take you back to your place. Seriously, no problem at all. Is it far from here?"

“I…” Kyungsoo fidgeted, shuffling his feet on the ground, “… it’s fine. My apartment is quite near from here, but I… I’m not in my way home.”

Jongdae raised an eyebrow. “Then you’re heading to hospital?”

“… no.”

Another protest was going to leave Jongdae’s lips, but the words are held when he watches Kyungsoo suddenly lurching forward, grabbing his abdomen, painful expression flashed on his face. “What’s wrong?” Jongdae immediately turned off the engine and stepped out of his car. “Are you okay?”

Kyungsoo crouches down and leaned forward, muscles stiffening, and seconds later he made this gesture of throwing up, and he’s really throwing up. Jongdae reaches to pat his back, only to have his eyes widen when he saw what came out from the latter’s mouth. The dark red liquid on the ground is surely not the digested food.

“That’s it. You’re coming with me. We’re going to the hospital.”

Minutes later he’s sitting lifelessly on the passenger seat of Jongdae’s Hyundai, head lulling aside to watch Jongdae glancing at him every ten seconds or so. “I’m fine… seriously.”

“You ear’s bleeding.” Jongdae commented.

He brought a hand to his ear, index finger tapping the earlobe. He pulled back his hand and stare at it. Right, his finger is smeared in the familiar red liquid once more. His ear is bleeding. That somehow reminded him of the latter’s words that’s supposed to be said to him eight months from now, which felt like it was told like eons ago.

“Are you going to tell me who I am now?” Kyungsoo speaks up tiredly.

“What?”

“You said you’ve known it the moment you saw my ears bleeding. And oh, the numbers on my palm,” he mumbled as he brought his hand near his face, staring at his palms. “You said you’ve known the moment you saw the numbers on my palm too.” he murmured.

But there’s no numbers scribbled on any of his palms.

“I said… what? Have we met before?” Jongdae’s tone is not really a surprised or confused one; it rather sounded like he’s assuring himself.

A wary chuckle left Kyungsoo’s plump yet dry lips. “You have no idea.”

A sickening silence heaved on both of them. “You’re a time traveler.” and there comes the statement.

“Or a crasher.” Kyungsoo muttered. “A car crasher.”

‘Do you think there are other people who can travel in time like us? What do we call them - Car Crashers?’

He chuckled, although it felt painful.

’Crashers has a nice ring to it. I don't know, I guess there must be. You're the first one I meet though. It must be fate.’

It’s fate, indeed.

“You,” Jongdae breathes out, “you must’ve done the same loop for too many times already.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes went to search for Jongdae. “How do you know?”

“You threw up blood.”

“So?”

“It means that your body can’t hold it anymore.” he stated. “You may never cared before, but it takes a lot –“

‘– for our bodies to jostle –‘

“– out of the time stream, Kyungsoo. Your body is supposed to grow along with the time that runs in a forward go. It’s not supposed to adapt with the change of time slopes. If you had severe symptoms like the one back there, it means that your body had too much.”

A dark laugh leaves Kyungsoo’s lips, slumping deeper into his spot, not caring about the blood stain on his arm staining the seat. “Even my body had enough of me.”

“What are you doing here? In this time, I mean.” Jongdae asks as he made a smooth left turn at the intersection. “Are you trying to fix something?”

Kyungsoo looks down on his lap. “I’m…” what? What is he doing here again? What is he trying to fix? Who is he trying to make a fool out of? “I’m… experimenting.”

“Experimenting?”

“Experimenting.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You’re not supposed to.”

Then he let everything to fall on its track like it was. He ignored Jongdae’s questioning stares all the way. He never interfered with Kyungsoo Double. He let both of his versions to meet Kai, fall in love, and fall in the abyss, repeat, repeat again. Because he had this feeling that he won’t have the chance to do it next time he does his experiment. He wants to feel the happiness, the rush adrenaline, all those excitement once more. He will think of another plan for his next attempt. For now, he’s letting himself to enjoy it; the warmth from Kai’s palms as he cupped his cheeks, the scorching heat and the tingling sensation as Kai slips into him and sends him to heaven, only to pull him back to a better place; with him.

But when the final point strikes again, he found himself asking to nothing in particular. Could he ever make it different? Can he try once again?

“Hey, you know what? Let’s do some experiment!” But I’m already doing one. “Let’s get in the crash, together!”

Kyungsoo stares and stares. “With this car?” Kai nodded like an excited puppy. “No, thank you. I'm not going to crash this brand new car just because you want to do a little experiment, Kai! I bought it, I didn't just pick it up by the side of the road!" 

"No, c'mon, why not! Us together in the last moments before the crash, you going to the past and me going to the future!” No, we never make it, you never went to the future, you were dead. “You can just come back to the past and convince yourself not to do it later, then crash another car together, so the end result remains the same, we would still travel out of time, and you'd still have the Ferrari! I've thought this out, okay?" No, you don’t understand, we never make it together.

"I don’t think it’s a good idea – what are you doing?!" Kyungsoo shouts as Kai suddenly grabs his hand and pulls a pen out of his pocket.

"Writing the date today. So you’d remember. It will be moments for me, but it could be a really long wait for you.” No, there were never any moments for you, I never wait for long. “What's the date today again?" 

"November 30^th. And I never said I would do it!" still, Kyungsoo doesn’t pull away as Kai scribbled the numbers illegibly. "Your handwriting is terrible."

"So are yours." Kai hums, finishing the last of the 0. He's smiling too widely, it sends hurtful nostalgic wave into Kyungsoo’s heart. "Hey Kyungsoo, let's do it together, let's go out of control together! Just let go!"

No, you don’t know. We never made it together.

“Kai, are you serious about –“ Kyungsoo’s words are stopped when he saw a black BMW pulls out just around fifteen meters behind them. “Who is that?”

Kai looks back too, wincing when the lights from the BMW slays the night air, then Kyungsoo felt Kai’s hand to stiffen in his hold. “.” he hissed. “That old Jung still doesn’t want to let go of me.”

“Who is – what is that person doing – hey what are you doing??” Kyungsoo shrieked when Kai opened the car door and steps out of it. He watched as Kai walks away and stops behind the car. The person only stays next to his BMW.

He froze as the person pulled out something from his pocket. He realized it too late. It’s a gun.

He didn’t even scream when a shot was made, the bullet strikes right through Kai’s heart. He wasn’t able to scream. All he could do is to get out of the car and rushed to Kai. The black BMW drives backwards before it made a turn and leave.

“God,” Kyungsoo’s body trembles as he took off his vest, using it to press down the small bleeding hole on Kai’s chest, “hang on, okay? Listen to me, hang on, I’ll call the ambulance.”

“This is… boring… right?” Kai chuckled softly as he watched Kyungsoo rushed his words over the phone, but the blood came afterwards from the corner of his lips. “What… a boring way… to die.”

Kyungsoo shoves the phone back into his pocket. “No, you’re not going to die.” but Kyungsoo knows better. It’s the fate. No matter how he tried to change the way, Kai will still end up dead. “Just hang on. ing hang on.”

“Hey,” Kai’s voice is raspy, but still clear enough, “can you… call me with… my real name?”

Kyungsoo stares right into Kai’s eyes, and he felt his own eyes are burning. “Jongin.”

Kai made a weak nod. “It felt… weird… to call me that, right? Kai… sounds cooler… you know.”

“Stop talking. You’re bleeding too much.”

“I’m wondering… what Jongin in the – , it hurts – Jongin in the other… alternate universe is doing.”

“Stop talking.” he muttered. Kai flashes a weak grin.

Minutes later when they’re inside the ambulance, they said it’s already too late.

When he snatched the car key to the blue Hyundai in the morning, Jongdae didn’t say anything. The look in Kyungsoo’s eyes made him hold his lips to speak. Kyungsoo is an empty body with no certain purpose of living. He had lost what he had become to cherish the most.

But at the afternoon, Jongdae found a reason to be really speechless.

“Isn’t that your Hyundai?” Sehun said to him. They had come straight from the funeral to the location of the car crash at Bukak Mountain Skyway. Jongdae insisted Sehun to tag along with him, and wordlessly the younger agreed, because if Jongdae seems panicked and uncomfortable, it means something is really wrong.

“Yep.” Jongdae could feel his hands trembling. “That’s mine. Was mine.”

“But who drove it? You lent it to someone?”

“… Kyungsoo.”

Sehun’s eyes widened before he glanced again at the wrecked mess of metal, watching them to pull out a body, charred and barely recognizable. Jongdae fell on his knees, followed suit by Sehun who crouched down and starts to bombard him with questions that he couldn’t answer.

Maybe there's a limit to everything even when you learn to cheat time.

---

“I had a weird dream.”

Sehun crinkles his nose. The annoying smell of hairsprays are getting into his nostrils and burns his already tired eyes. “What now, Jongin,” he sighs, “for the whole week you complained about how you couldn’t get some sleep, now that you’ve slept like a dead dog the whole yesterday, you complain that you had a weird dream?”

Frowning, Jongin snorts as he shoves his hands into the pocket of his jeans. “Gonna talk to someone else.”

“Good. Would’ve helped a lot if only you did it like two minutes ago, before you decided to waste my rare sleep time.”

“Already gone, jackass.” Jongin shouts before he stops in his track. “Oh.”

Kyungsoo is standing in front of him, all with styled hair and perfectly done light make-up. He’s already wearing their sponsored outfits for the photoshoot today. “Looking good finally. You slept well yesterday, huh.”

“Uh, yeah.”

“What’s with that awkward tone?”

Jongin scratches the back of his neck out of habit. “Uh,” he pauses for a while, “I kind of had a weird dream, and you were there almost all the time, and it kind of makes me can’t look at you the same anymore? I mean, maybe for a few days.”

“Well, I didn’t tell my subconscious self to visit your dream and make a movie with your subconscious self together.” Kyungsoo scoffs. “What was it about?”

“Something about cars, I guess? We kind of crash them in order to travel in time. I don’t know anymore. I never thought I have the head of a sci-fi er.”

Kyungsoo laughs crisply. “Wow,” he calms down after a while, “Baekhyun or Chanyeol would’ve gave all their fortunes combined to have such dreams. They crave sci-fi s.”

“Yeah.” Jongin laughs too. “Anyway, hyung, forget what I said. It’s just a dream, it won’t change how you look in my eyes.”

“Was that supposed to be something romantic or what?”

“Probably.” Jongin smiles as Kyungsoo walks passing him by. “And oh, hyung,”

“Hm?”

“Us, together, crashing cars and go into another time loop together,” Jongin grins, “sounds cool, huh?”

Kyungsoo smiles warmly.

“Psh. Kid.”

---

The first time he did an experiment, he didn’t remember anything clearly. He didn’t even realize that he has to remember anything.

Kyungsoo woke up to the rough scratch of asphalt concrete against his face and the damp earthy smell of drizzling rain assaulting his nose with every breath. It was the kind of rain that has been going on for days and weeks. Cold, musty, and weary. Spring rain. It hadn’t rained like that in Seoul for a long time. His face hurt when his skin dragged against the asphalt as he twitched and struggled to pull himself away from the ground. The pavement felt wet and cold under his fingertips. Rain drops sprinkled on the back of his head. His cheeks felt raw and tender. His bones ached. When he finally pulled himself up to a sitting position, the ground was mottled with dark spots and smears that didn't quite look like rain. They seemed to match the long bloody scratches on his hands. Kyungsoo hissed when rain drops hit the scraped open skin.

He could still hear the echo of his pounding heart, loud and insistent in the quiet air of the early morning. It was still early morning, he decides, looking at the pale grey colour of the sky. The streets were empty, doused with lingering sleep. It took a while for his limbs to work again, fingers still curling in the last dredges of adrenaline. He had to take a few deep breaths, trying to decide where he was. The streets looked familiar. A few blocks away from the garage. A few blocks away from his apartment. He kept stumbling on his feet, but the walk didn't feel all that long. The early joggers and salary workers barely glanced at him when they pass by. The drizzling rain wasn't enough to soak him through, but the cold dampness sent chills through his body, the weather seeped through the layers of his clothes.

The windows of the first room from the right on the second floor of his apartment building were open when he gets there. Kyungsoo stood at the feet of the building, looking up, staring at the open windows, feeling slightly bewildered and lost. There was a black Genesis Coupe parked just outside on the street. Kyungsoo walked over to the car, leaning against it, going over his options. His hand fumbled, taking out the wallet from his back pocket. Cash, cards, a Polaroid hastily shoved in, a stack of receipts. Kyungsoo peeled himself off the car, sparing one last glance at the open windows before turning and walking the other way.

He passed by a newspapers stand on his way. He picked up one, glancing over the headlines, and his grip faltered when he looks at the top right corner of the paper, just above ‘Income Tax Rising by 2.4%’ and ‘Mass Car Pile-up In Incheon's North Port’. He carefully put the newspapers back to its place. When he looked up, someone was staring at him from the lowered window of a blue Hyundai stopping at the side of the road.

"Hey." The driver smiled at him, "Want a ride? You look like you need one."

Kyungsoo shuffled on his feet. It's still raining. "I'm fine."

"Kyungsoo, right? I've seen you around the tracks. My name's Jongdae." The driver was still smiling, reaching out a hand through the car window in an offer of a handshake. Ingrained manners had him step forward and take it. "No, really, I insist. It's raining, and you look like you've just gotten out the better side of a car crash." Eyes flickered towards his scraped arms. Kyungsoo pulled his hand back. "I'll take you back to your place. No problem at all. Is it far from here?"

Kyungsoo bate down on his bottom lip. "I. It's okay. I kind of don't have a place at the moment." Code for he didn't know where the hell he was going, really. Jongdae blinks at him, eyebrows raised.

"Oh."

Then somehow he ended up in the passenger seat of the Hyundai, sitting still with hands folded in his laps, careful not to smear blood on the car's interior as Jongdae periodically glanceed at him during the drive. Maybe he could help, Jongdae said. Kyungsoo considered his options. Weighing pros and cons and calculating in composite risk.

"People have been asking about you, did you know?"

Kyungsoo hummed, leaning against the window, staring at the cars and buildings flying past, Seoul painted in monochromatic shades.

"There's a garage a few blocks from here called EXO, have you heard of it? Friends of mine. They're looking for a new driver to join their crew for the upcoming Race War. You should check them out. They've seen you around the tracks." Jongdae made a sweeping movement over the steering wheel. He's one of those people who can't stop talking when there's another person in the same enclosed space. Compulsive conservation-maker. "They've been asking about you."

They were on the way to Jongdae's place, he said. There was a vacant flat next to his right now, maybe Kyungsoo could take a look. What a nice coincidence. As if life was made up of coincidences and good luck.

"You sure you're okay? Really not going to the hospital? Your ear's bleeding."

Kyungsoo raised a hand to his ear. His fingers come away smeared with blood.

"Wild night out?" Jongdae jerked his head towards him, eyes fixed on a certain spot on his body. "I hope you've copied that number down somewhere. Someone might be waiting for a phone call."

Kyungsoo glanced down, fingers automatically coming up to trace what Jongdae was looking at. There was black ink on the pale skin of his palm. Clumsy shaky , straight lines coming out as slanted wriggles as if written by a child, nearly illegible, smudged by rain and little bloody scratches. A string of digits, not nearly long enough to be anyone's phone number.

20211130.

"I hope you remember the lucky person's name."