One day walk turned into two and three and so on. The two unexpectedly became too close. Knowing things about eachother. How Jay lives his life, what he’s going to major in University and so for Jay to get to know Jessica more.

As they walked, Jay asked her about her life. Jessica is Two years older than him, She lived alone after transferring from Us and came to Korea to follow her dream in becoming a singer. It was her passion to sing and perform and so she asked her parents if she could go back to Korea and they supported her.

Jessica loved to sing and that’s why she pulled Jay with her to go to karaoke few nights a week until Jay asked to just visit his house because he already have a karaoke machine he doesn’t usually use unless if friends came over to hang out.

Days went by and the more the two got closer. It’s like they almost spent the whole day together unless when Jessica had some things to do and if they went to sleep.

Jay couldn’t wait for mornings to come so fast. He even spent sleepless night in excitements when he got plans in the morning with Jessica. His friend Mei told him, he’s being obsessed and maybe in love with Jessica but he refuses to listen to her, ignoring her teasing and as what he called ‘bulls’.

But when one day Jessica didn’t contact him and wasn’t home for the whole day, Jay’s heart started thumping in his chest. He was worried about her and more, he missed her so badly.

It was only a day away from her and his heart clinched and ached so bad. He didn’t want to imagine his life without Jessica. He couldn’t sleep the night without knowing anything about his friend.

That day was the day when it’s started. Jessica started disappearing frequently. She explained that she was busy with something and she’d explain later but Jay wasn’t feeling good about this.

He hated waiting most of the day to hear from her. after being to o close to someone and suddenly they are not there, it feels strange or hurt…

Jay spent his time thinking about Jessica.. why?

He couldn’t stop thinking about her and worries. He was worrying even though the girl asked him not too but he just couldn’t ignore the fact that she’s gone for most of the day and his heart keep clinching on him every minute of the day.

One night he decided to wait her at her house front door. She didn’t come until past midnight which shocked him. He stood up as soon as she reached her front door and saw him sitting there with sleepy worried eyes..

“What are you doing here? It’s late?” She started as she walked closer and stood next to him. She gave him a concerned look but nothing more.

“I was worried about you… I missed you..” Jay confessed. It was his first time to say he missed someone ever or it was his first time to be attached to someone like this.

“I told you not to worry and I missed you too” Jessica said and sent a smile toward Jay. She took his hand in hers “come inside.., it’s cold out here…”.

Jay followed after Jessica quietly as she led him to the living room and both sat on the sofa. Jessica let go of his hand which he didn’t want her to do. The touch made him feel warm and calm and he didn’t want her to let go.

“I’m busy with work..” Jessica said as soon as she fixed her sitting style to confront Jay “the last days, no.. the last weeks since I transferred here was a blessing. It was my happiest time spending it with you”…

 Jay fisted his hands, why did this seem like a break up? He looked at Jessica with wondering looks. What was she trying to say and why?

“Listen Jay… I think you think of us as more than friends…I’m not sure” She hesitated to say and avoided Jay’s eyes. He wanted to shake his head but he was frozen “I didn’t promise you anything… and I told you about my dreams, that I want to be a singer. That’s why I can’t be involved with anyone..” she continued talking things that he think isn’t logical.

“What are you saying..” Finally Jay cut in. Jessica stopped talking to look at his confused face “did I ask for more than friendship? Doesn’t friends care too? And what’s more than friends. I don’t get you and what are you hinting to say?” Jay shook his face. He can feel his heart pounding in his chest. His face getting red with anger that he isn’t sure what’s the reason for it “I really don’t get you..”.

“uhh… yeah, you’re too innocent to know that. You dunno friendship from love... This…” she pointed at him “This.. what you’re doing isn’t just friendship..” She said and Jay frowned… “I don’t want to deal with this.. I didn’t ask you to love me…”.

“I don’t … why you think I Love you” Now his heart was crazily beating that he almost can’t hear his own voice..”I don’t … “..

Jay hesitated with saying it..’ he doesn’t love her’ Why did it feel like a lie? But he was sure, he’s not in love.. what is love anyway? Huh?

“Jay…” Jessica stepped closer to Jay and took his right hand in hers. She gently caressed his hand that sent him shivers to his body. Jay waited for what to come, what would she say? ..”I’m not saying this because I hate you, I don’t…” Jessica started, her eyes fixed in his “I really like you too, and if it was in another situation, I’d gladly fall for you…” Jessica continued with sweet voice “Jay… I’m just securing my future and for this, I need to end our friendship…” She simply ended the talk with an understanding nod, hoping that Jay would understand what she’s saying “I’m sorry…”.

“I… I.. really… uhh” Jay mumbled. He didn’t know what to say. He was froze in shock after what Jessica said. She just simply ended their friendship like it was nothing important. Like she doesn’t care at all…. Why he feels like … he feel so stupid at the moment but his heart keep crashing and aching so badly….

After leaving Jessica’s house, Jay stood at the door way in shock. The feeling of being kicked out of someone’s life had a big impact at him. His heart was aching and beating like crazy. He got no idea why did it feel this bad. Maybe it’s because he really loved being Jessica’s friend.. yeah maybe…

The days that came after was harder. The realization that he wouldn’t be able to see Jessica and sit with her, to walk with her and talk with her. he wouldn’t be able to hear her sweet voice. Jay was feeling depressed…

He locked himself home and that all what he did. Stay home, hardly eating and hardly talking to anyone and even ditching school.

Bunny:

Yes you are.. you just have to admit it and get over it..

Jay:

No I’m not .. stay saying bulls..

Bunny:

I’m not… you just dunno it yet… look at you, you’re depressed, you miss her … you’re in love with her.. stop denying it.

Jay:

I’m not and even if I accepted it, wouldn’t it be worst.. like I’m in love and lost her..?

Bunny:

Well…..

It will, but at least you can get over it then..

Jay:

See… it won’t make me feel hurt less…. And I really miss her..

I thought I finally had a good friend but …

Bunny:

Not a friend.. you love her but she doesn’t deserve it..

Jay:

Stop saying that >.<

Bunny:

I’m saying the truth… she doesn’t deserve your love… look what she did…

Just forget about her…

Jay:

I’m going…. Busy…

Bunny:

Liar.. are you going back to sleep until night…

Stop mourning and get over it … go out and meet other people..

Disconnected

Once his parents are back from their international business trip, Jay thought maybe he would finally have a distraction and could finally get over thinking of a specific person, but he was wrong when again, his parents had another business plans and going to fly in two days which made him in his depressed world all over again.

He was used of being lonely, it was how he lived most of his life so, what was different in now. Only that his heart truly aches and he doesn’t know how to heal it. Jay finally decided that he need to get out of this lonely circle.

Maybe it was time he would go out, hang around and get closer to his class friends. And that what happened…

After months of doing well, what happened in the past was a hurtful memory but he won’t let it affect him. Finally Jay was strong enough to move on and do something to his lonely life.

He had more friends and relations out of his home where he always used to stayed. His parents were the same but he didn’t care anymore. He was doing good and happy for what he has..

One day he was home alone, watching a horror movie. He was enjoying the movie which was his favorite genre but the knock on his door startled him making him flinch when a scary scene played and the knock was strong…

He paused the movie and stood up heading to the door. he had so many thoughts that maybe the one on the door might be a serial killer or something ‘ effected by the movie”  which made him laugh at himself but he opened the door anyway…

For him, meeting a serial killer was better than meeting the source of his pain… Jay’s heart started racing and all those emotions he hid all this time are back again when he saw Jessica standing at his door steps… 

************************************

wahh.. finally i updated 

It's like forever hehehee

Hope jay would like this update

He said, firt chapter is too flufy for him 

so, how about this??