http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufAGsb0Fa0Q&feature=related

Leave Alone by Dia

------------------------------------------------------

“I'm really sorry it's me not you. I really don't have time for a relationship right now.”

How many times have I heard this excuse before? How many times will I fall hard then have my heart broken?

I looked up at Sungyeol and smiled bitterly before I looked away. Where do I go wrong in relationships?

“I hope we can stay friends?” he asked.

Tears brimmed my eyes as I looked back at him. “Do you really think that's possible?”

He put his hands in his pockets and shrugged.

I scoffed and turned my back facing him. “Arasso if this is what you want...fine.” Not hearing anything from him I walked away. It felt like I was walking in a numb trance with no where to go. A tear fell down from my cheek and my hand unknowingly wiped the trail away. I stopped in my tracks and looked to my left. I was at the river it was night time so it was brightly lit with lights.

The holiday season is coming up aren't you supposed to spend them with the one you love? I turned my head forward and walked the rest of the way back home. I unlocked the door to an empty motionless house. Brings me to another topic my parents who sent me to this godforsaken place of heart break and left me. It's been about 2 years since I last heard from them.

Tiredly I shuffled my way to my room and locked the door behind me. I changed into night clothes then laid into my bed. I examined my panda bear Sungyeol had given me for a birthday present. I smiled sadly at it as fresh tears fell from my eyes.

“Pabo oppa.” I muttered as I punched the bear. “Wae did you leave me? You promised you would be by my side for forever.” I added as I punched him again. I brought the bear to my chest and squeezed it. “Mianhae.” I whispered.

I've never felt this much heartache before. Maybe it was actual love with him? Maybe I'm too far beneath and it's too late to resurface. I squeezed my eyes shut as I fell asleep crying.