Clouds, fluffy white puffs floating against the light blue sky. There was no canopy of tree branches blocking his sight, no sea breeze brushing against his skin. There were only white clouds in ambiguous shapes. It was the first thing that Namu saw.

He quickly propped himself onto his hands, palms scraping against the rough stone underneath him. Where was he? He twisted his head around, searching for the answer. And that’s when he noticed, his shadow, his closest friend and most loyal follower. Namu raised his hand to wave at it. And it immediately waved back. Namu sighed as the shadow began mimicking his every move perfectly, even when he hit himself in the head or blew a raspberry. His shadow was only a shadow cast against the cement foundation for a statue. Namu sighed and drew his gaze upwards.

He stood up, and circled the statue to study at it more carefully. His mouth fell open, dumbfounded. It was a small bronze statue of a slender boy dressed in leaves, playing a pan-pipe, with his sharp nose pointing up to the sky. It was him. He just knew it. He didn’t know what he was already doing here in this strange place, where he had never been, seen, smelled, tasted, breathed. It was utterly unfamiliar, except for this. There was this pulling feeling in his gut, drawing him towards the bronzed child. Something had brought him here and brought him here to see this purposefully. Whatever omnipotent or omnipresent power that was out there, controlling things, constructing destiny together from random pieces of fate to make one coherent and beautiful…statue of a little boy. Namu reached up and touched the small feet carefully with glancing fingertips, as if he was afraid of getting burned. But it was cool to the touch. Cold, distant. Namu didn’t look like that boy anymore. Nor was he in Neverland anymore. This was a reminder of that. But where was he now?

“Hook!”

Namu swung his head around, searching for his companion. But for all his eyes could see, there were only bricks and flowers. There was no pirate, laying amoung the lush flowerbeds, or at least Namu thought not. He could not see the plume of the captain’s hat nor the tips of his pointed boots peaking about the petals.

Namu’s throat tightened as his heart began racing. His eyes scanned his surroundings desperately. He didn’t come alone, but why was he alone now? Did the pirate’s hand slip from his grip as they flew over? No, Namu remembered gripping the hand tightly as if his life depended on it. He remembered squeezing it as he saw the glowing face of the clock tower, chiming in their arrival.

That’s when he got hit.

A goose had flown right into his chest, crushing the wind out of his lungs and knocking all of Namu’s happy thoughts out of his head. And so Namu tumbled to the ground, trying to grab at whatever he flew past, trying to think of hope and happiness. But he was weighed by his doubt, pulling him closer and closer to the Earth’s surface until he crashed against the flowerbeds. Namu turned his head to see the bent and broken stems of the flowers he’d murdered the night before. “Sorry,” he muttered under his breath as he touched a tortured daisy near him. He tried to straighten the poor flower back up, but the daisy just drooped its heavy head again. Namu could practically hear its sigh of defeat. He sighed along with it.

He had lost. He had lost the person that he had sworn to save. And right now, he was at a loss as to what to do. His body was as stiff and solid at the bronze statue, his spirit as broken as the daisy. Coming to grips with Reality was supposed to solve all of his problems, but now he was facing dilemmas greater than he could handle.

“Are you sure that you saw something fall down here?”

That sudden voice dragged Namu out of his whirlwind of self-doubt and summoned his instincts. He crawled on all fours to crouch behind the base of the statue. His hand flew to the dagger, still slung low around his waist.  He stayed on the ball of his feet, ready to spring like a cobra against whatever pirate comes his way.

“Yes, M’am. I saw it with my own two eyes last night. A large bird fell from the sky. Just this way! C’mon!”

“I hope it’s alright.”

Clink. The dagger slipped out of Namu’s now slackened grip, hitting the brick underneath him. That wasn’t a pirate. That was a woman, an older women. By the sound of her voice, the timbre and the understanding, she was even older than the oldest person he knew. Namu lowered himself away from his ready position to sink listlessly on the ground. It was Reality. There was only one pirate, if he was still alive.

Once the clicking of the woman’s heels against the brick sounded closer, Namu spun around, back to the base, eyes shut tight, panting heavily. With every breath he exhaled, he wished that she would just disappear, that he would too, that he had never left Neverland.

“It’s you.”

Namu slowly opened his eyes and gazed up at the kind, moon-like face shining down on him brightly with a gentle smile. Her greying hair glinted in the sunlight like a shimmering Milky Way on earth. Her eyes became glimmering crescents as a smile grew wider on her face. With a soft voice she whispered in disbelief, “You don’t remember me, do you? How could you? It’s been years and…I…I thought you were just a dream.” The woman knelt down next to him and with tentative fingers, touched his cheeks. She acted as if she were touching a ghost, as if she had expected her fingers to pass through the specter and he’d dissipate into the air. But he didn’t. She could feel the warm skin under her cold fingertips. The woman gasped.

Namu leaned away and leaned against the statue’s base for support. His cheek dug into the abrasive concrete. It was uncomfortable, but so was the fact that his heart was hammering away in his chest and that there was no enough air in the world for him to breath in. His hand searched the ground behind him for his fallen dagger.

However, but something clasped around his hand, holding it tight. The woman’s face was only inches from his own. She squeezed his hand in her own. “Namu, it’s me,” she spoke softly to him. “Kei.”

“K-kei?” Namu repeated. His eyes searched her aged face, and in his mind’s eye, he smoothed out her wrinkles, painted color back in her hair, and gave her back her youth. Kei smiled and nodded with a weak laugh. Namu’s eyes widened. “Kei?!” he raised his voice. He couldn’t believe it. She hadn’t left the island for that long. She was younger than him, by several years, but now…but now. Tears were streaming down Namu’s face. Everything he had been feeling, had been holding back since he’d waken up came pouring out in droves. He lunged forward and wrapped his arms around her neck, burying his face in her shawl, using it to mop up his tears.

“Kei…”

Kei took Namu into her home, which was not inside a tree, but it was taller and made of brick. It was strange. Namu didn’t care for it much. The walls were coated in floral wallpaper, and there were frills everywhere, including things Kei called doylies. And there was a lot of things it didn’t have: fresh air wafting through, the comforting rustle of leaves, and no toys. But it was his home now. And with the new home came a new name, a new family, a new life. But each came to him one by one.

Kei was the first to start a new life. After she had left Neverland, her parents had arranged for her to marry a son of a wealthy business owner. The man had invested in some strange invention called ‘automobiles,’ which, against Namu’s instincts, did not run on pixie dust but something slick and poisonous, gasoline. This was a realm of science not magic. That was a fact that he’d constantly had to remind himself of, especially when he was faced with something as perplexing as ‘the toilet’ (where did it all go?).

After a few years of ordained ‘courting,’ Kei married. A few after that, she gave birth to a son, and then a daughter who was around Woohyun’s age now (whom Kei assumed to be 26). The daughter was now married and had a home of her own. Her son moved to a faraway land with a long name and with more automobiles and strange language comprised of harsh sounds, unnatural to Namu’s tongue. And sadly, her beloved husband passed away the year before from a black spot in his lung. Namu had never heard of a spot killing anyone before, but there were several weird and wondrous things in Reality that he’d never heard of before. It wasn’t the strangest either. Namu still didn’t know the purpose of a doyly, and it unnerved him to no end.

Another oddity of Reality was the fact that a person had three syllables to their name. Namu only had two, and so Kei gave him a third. “My children and my husband’s surname is ‘Nam,’ isn’t that funny?” she announced with a giggle, but Woohyun failed to see the joke. He laughed nevertheless, never wanting to be the fool. “And so I thought you could be ‘Nam Woohyun.’” The laughter stuck in his throat. His third syllable: hyun. He repeated it over and over again under his breath. Hyun, Hyun, Nam Woohyun. He liked it. Saying it was as easy as exhaling. Kei noticed the shy smile forming on his face and grinned herself. “It’s only fitting that I give you a name in this world because you gave me one in Neverland,” she spoke.

“Ms. Kei,” he had added that syllable to her name after she insisted that it was ‘polite.’ “What’s a surname?”

“It’s the first part of a name,” she answered as she poured now Woohyun another cup of tea. “It shows that one belongs to the same family.” Family, Woohyun was familiar with that concept. It was the band that people formed, lived with, fought with, loved. And he supposed that his own band had a surname as well: Lost. ‘Nam” didn’t quite have the same flair, but he supposed it suited Kei…and the new him.

Woohyun sat there, staring at the tea swirling in its cup. He pondered the implications of his new name. Did it mean that he now had a new band? He glanced up at the older woman across from him. She had a daughter his own age. But even when she was young, when she was in Neverland with him, he had used her as a…

“Ms. Kei?” Woohyun scrunched his face, his eyes fixed on the tea still. He couldn’t risk looking at that moon as he asked, “Will you be my mother?”

“Kay,” she answered quickly and happily as she always had.

Woohyun tried his best to fight back the smile forming on his face, but he embraced the warmness spreading across his limbs, enveloping him whole.

“Kay.”

Although Ms. Kei was his mother, there were long stretches during the day when she disappeared from the home and from his side. She claimed it was for her ‘job.’ Woohyun recalled that ‘jobs’ were something adults had, and so he was instinctually revolted by it. ‘Jobs’ were those evil things that tore parents from homes and forced children to stop playing and become adults. But Woohyun supposed that he was already an adult. Did the mean that he now needed one of those dreaded things?

When he asked Ms. Kei if she did, she suggested that Woohyun follow her for the day. “I have a feeling that you’d like it,” she said with a coy smile. The woman said nothing more and only lead him to her work, and Woohyun followed her like a silent shadow, step for step.

“This is it,” she announced when she was at the door of a large building. It was even larger than his own home, but it didn’t look as inviting. And when he stepped inside, he felt cold. He looked about the entrance. There was not even a single spark of happiness in this place. Indeed a job was a horrid thing.

“Follow me,” Ms. Kei commanded as she brushed past him. The clicking of her heels filled the empty hall. It was soon accompanied by Woohyun’s shuffling and dragging feet. He wasn’t going willing, but as her shadow, he had to follow. “Woohyun-ah,” the woman called to him. Woohyun snapped his head up to see Ms. Kei beckoning at him with her finger. As he approached, she opened a door to room. “Look.” Woohyun shot her a skeptical look before he carefully peered into the room. Then he pulled his head right back out, staring at the woman in disbelief. She smiled. “They’re Lost Boys.” Woohyun’s head whipped around to look inside the room again. There were around 15 boys, running about the room, creating all sorts of havoc and noise, spreading all sorts of joy in their wake. A half-smile crept onto Woohyun’s face. “I come to play with them three times a week,” Ms. Kei continued. “They need a mother, but more than that, they need a leader.”

The smile fully formed on his face. “They need me.”

“Eung, they need Namu.”

And that’s how he found his Lost Boys again, and at the same time, he also got a job, but that wasn’t as important. He played around with the boys and disciplined them too. Before he disciplined his band to fight against pirates, but now he was raising them to be men and not fighters. It was strange, but everything in Reality was new and strange. It was just the way the world was.

Also in this world, he was the one who told stories. Once a day, the boys would gather around him in a circle like him and his former boy used to around Wendy, and he told them of his adventures in Neverland, of the old Lost Boys, of Wendy, and of the nefarious Captain Hook. It was of the few times of the day when the boys would be completely silent and attentive. It as if Woohyun’s words were enchanting them and robbing the voices from their mouths and pulling in their attention. He was a siren.

Even Ms. Kei noticed the magical power Woohyun had recently developed. “You should write them down,” she urged him one night. “The boys really seem to enjoy them, and I’m sure all children would.” And then she sat him down at her desk with this noisy machine called a typewriter (it terrified Woohyun slightly whenever it dinged). “Write.”

“How?” he called out to her as the woman left the room.

“With your hands,” she retorted and retreated into her own bedroom.

Woohyun closed his eyes, threw back his head, and groaned. He yearned for the days when he used to ‘suggest’ things to Ms. Kei just as forcefully. He was grateful to have her as a mother, but perhaps he didn’t know exactly what a mother was. Against his expectations, she never tucked him into the bed at night (but she would occasionally sneak in to kiss his cheek whenever he was about to drift off into Dreamland). But he never expected a mother to be so gently demanding. And Woohyun thought that he’d never feel obligated to follow her. But here he was, hands already placed on the keys and ready to write his story.

“But how?” Woohyun muttered. He scoffed and looked at his fingers on the keys. With my hands. And then those hands suddenly flew into action, pecking at the typewriter and the words splattered onto the page. And one page turned into several pages. The sun set and the stars rose into the sky. The pages piled up into heaps on the desk. Crumpled papers littered around his feet on the floor. The sounds from the typewriter formed a dissonant sonata for the night. And Woohyun was creating his masterpiece.

All children, except for one, grow up. They soon know that they will grow up, and the way Wendy knew was this. One day when she was two years old, she was playing in a garden, and she plucked another flower and ran with it to her mother. I suppose she must have looked rather delightful, for Mrs. Darling put her hand to her heart and cried, “Oh, why can’t you remain like this forever!” This was all the passed between them on the subject, but henceforth Wendy knew that she must grow up. You always know after you are two. Two is the beginning of the end.

Ms. Kei was easily able to get the book published through her late husband’s connections. One of his friends was a publisher who was just in want of a children’s book, which Ms. Kei was more than happy to provide. Once in print, the book was a rousing success, and Woohyun was whisked away from his own Lost Boys to read his novel to entire swarms of children. And they, like his boys, were hanging onto his every word. He especially got a rousing response for his mimicry skills. Even after the story was over, they’d ask for Smee to come out to play or Wendy, or if they were more daring, they’d ask to duel to the death against Hook. Woohyun would pretend to be those characters from his story and play along with the children until it was his time to leave.

However, when he’d return home after a reading, a heavy sigh would escape his lips, and he’d fall listlessly onto his bed. He was losing a part of himself everyday. With every reading, his life as Namu seemed to be nothing more than fantastical fiction. Was it all a figment of Woohyun’s imagination? Was it all just pretend and child’s play? Was there ever a Neverland?

Woohyun flipped over onto his side and gazed at the copy of his book laying next to him. With a quick flick of his wrist, he opened the book, and it flew open to the exact page he had wanted. It wasn’t out of luck. It had become a habit, for him and for the book. The binding was weakening at this spot. The pages were dog-eared and covered in smudges from the oil in Woohyun’s fingers. But the man couldn’t help but want to see the illustration one more time.

When it came to the illustrations in the book, Woohyun had been very specific. He wanted everything to be as real and as true as possible, even down to the chipped claws of the crocodile and the turkey feathers in Tigerlilly’s hair. But this particular illustration he had sent to get redone several times. Woohyun didn’t understand why it was so hard to create ‘a vicious, man-slaying pirate with an evil sneer on his lips but kindness in his heart.’ And it was the look in the eyes that he’d never liked in the previous renditions, but this one was perfect. It had looked just like him, his Captain Hook.

There was no Captain without Namu...but was there a Namu without the Captain. Were they the two sides of the same coin? And Fate just flipped that coin to see who’d come out on top at each turn? Was Neverland not just his island, but theirs?

No, because here Namu was without Hook, and he was faring just fine. And the island, Neverland, was dying and had died because of Namu, because he grew up and abandoned his boyhood fantasies.

But in place of those, he adopted new fantasies. Beautiful ones. The realest ones he’s ever conjured, deep and wide like the sea. He wanted to make children every happy and to believe in magic once again. It’s only for a short while that some people allow themselves to believe in frivolous things like that, but how fun frivolous things can be! Woohyun wanted to give them that opportunity again. He gave them a chance to believe in pixie dust, mermaids, fairies, and a land where you’d never grow up. He wanted to make magic, magical again.

And while living with Ms. Kei, he also fantasized about one day moving out and living in his own home, which would not be decorated with floral wallpaper and doylies, but with trophies from his latest hunts and pictures of his grand adventures (for he was not done having his adventures yet).

He also fantasized of finding a new band, creating his own family. He already had a mother in Ms. Kei, but he wanted to expand his band beyond her. Woohyun wanted to have a son and maybe even a daughter. He yearned to teach them all of the wonderful things about Reality that he had recently learned and watch their eyes grow and sparkle in astonishment. Woohyun, of course, would also tell them the glory of Neverland every night, but more and more he realized that his stories could be nothing more than fairy tales, or else their sanity, much like his know, would be tenuous. It was often hard for Woohyun to gather the loose strands of his mind to make a coherent, rational thought.

Then there were times when Woohyun thought that Neverland was just that, just a dream, or his childhood reimagined. Perhaps he assimilated to easily into this Reality because he had caught himself once or twice doubting the existence of mermaids and fairies. But then for the next five minutes he’d spend clapping and chanting, “I do believe in fairies. I do! I do!” But during those times of doubt, all he had to do was to look at Ms. Kei and her graying hair and aging face. He had known her in the blossom of her youth. She was the proof for him that Neverland did happen, just like he was the proof of it to her.

But…Woohyun’s fingers lingered on the illustration of Hook. He then rapped his fingers against the page. His patience was waning with each passing day. He needed one last proof to be certain. He needed to find the only thing that remained left of Neverland. He needed Hook.

Or Woohyun was afraid that what little left he was clinging onto of Namu would fly away like pixie dust in the wind.

One of his fantasies soon came to life when Woohyun was able to gather enough money to afford live on his own. Ms. Kei helped him to find a modest apartment, not too far from Home. She also helped him to furnish the place; this time, it was all to Woohyun’s simple tastes. He kept the wooden walls completely bare because it reminded him of his treehouse. But he insisted on bringing the large globe from Home with him. There were so many nooks and crannies of Reality that he wanted to explore, even if it just with his fingertips, tracing the raised ridges of the lands on the globes.

Also around this time, Woohyun had acquired an agent. The publishing house hired him one after his book was praised by critics. He was now in the process of writing a stageplay of the book. And his other dream of making magic real again was slowly coming to life, through the use of special effects and staging. Although it didn’t help with his crisis of figuring out what was ‘pretend’ or what was ‘real,’ when he was casting actors to ‘play’ the role of him and his childhood friends.

An ‘identity crisis,’ Woohyun had read that term in a book he’d taken from Ms. Kei’s library (it was called The Interpretation of Dreams; it was filled with strange concepts and terms that he did quite understand, but this he did). He finally found a name to attach to this tumult inside of him. It wasn’t quite a depression. He easily grew happy. His energy was high, as well as his self-esteem, which wasn’t hard to do when people all around him were praising him. But in the back of his mind, there was always this resounding question of ‘why?’ Why was he happy? Was it part of his general disposition or did everything please him? Why was he this way? Who was he? And these questions would rob the smile from his face.

And so Ms. Kei suggested that he should move out and ‘finish growing.’ That only further confused Woohyun. He was in his late twenties now. Wasn’t he already grown up? Wasn’t he already an adult?

Ms. Kei wasn’t the only one who thought this way. One day his agent called him and demanded that Woohyun set up something strange called a bank account “like a real grown up.” The agent insisted that the money would grow there and be safer, a lot safer than hiding in the box underneath Woohyun’s bed (Woohyun never told his agent that he hid his money there. He had no idea how the other could have known). Woohyun was all for the notion of accumulating more money, even if it was just a few cents every year, but he didn’t like the idea of entrusting his hard earned money to someone else. To him that didn’t sound safe. To him that sounded quite like something else entirely.

Yet he had no choice in the matter. His agent picked Woohyun up from his apartment and forced him into the bank for an appointment. Once Woohyun had stepped inside the bank, an eerie yet familiar feeling washed over him. Was it the dark wooden desks and walls? The sounds of coins jostled around in hands? Or was it the smell of greed that permeated from every corner of the building.

The feeling only grew once he was lead to a small, private room at the back of the bank and was seated inside. He felt as if he were locked in the brig after he heard the door lock shut behind him. He was locked in solitary confinement and was about to have all his gold taken away. Woohyun was going to fire his agent for this.

But that’s when he heard it.

The door clicked open again. The sharp sound of heels clashing against the tile filled the room. One step, two step, until Woohyun saw the man form in his periphery. First he saw the black, boxed toed shoes, shining so brightly that Woohyun could see his own reflection. Then his eyes lifted, following the creased pleat of his woolen pants. He could see the golden keys hanging from his belt loop and the brassy chain of his pocket watch, tucked into his grey vest pocket. A hand, paler than natural was hanging limply at his side, while the other clung tightly onto a file, which he was reading intently. The wire frames of his glasses was slipping down the straight bridge of his nose. His black hair was slicked back, revealing a wide smooth forehead that Woohyun rarely ever saw.

But this person, he was used to seeing and he wanted to see again. And so Woohyun silently watched the other, slowly soaking in his presence with a sly smile on his face. He hadn’t felt like this in awhile: his heart beating wildly in his chest, alertness rushing through his veins, all of his hair standing on its end, and all of the other symptoms of facing a life-long rival. But Woohyun just remained quite, relishing in this feeling. The other hadn’t noticed yet who exactly he was about to face. But he soon did, after he placed the file on the table and raised his gaze to meet Woohyun’s.

“Namu…” he muttered under his breath in disbelief.

Woohyun smirked and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “Lookie, lookie. I found Hookie,” he teasingly sang.

The former pirate scoffed and sat down in his seat. “All of these years, I’ve been trying to steal what’s yours and now you’re just handing it over to me? Where’s the fun in that?” he combated with a wide grin on his face.

“Don’t you know? Adults can’t have fun,” Woohyun quickly retorted. He then leaned over the table and raised his eyebrow as he proposed, “But we can fight for old time’s sake.”

“Aye, we can,” Hook responded with a short nod. His eyes then fell back to the file on the table, and he began to flip through and sort the papers.

Woohyun frowned as he watched his rival just let their ‘argument’ die down. Had the elder really let him win that easily? “Golly, Captain. Your banter has really gone bad,” Woohyun sneered. “What next? Are you going to compliment me? Ask me how my day was?”

“Sorry, it’s just…” Woohyun’s excitement dampened. An apology was even worse than letting Woohyun win. “I’m shocked. It’s been so long. I’ve gotten rusty. Forgive me. I am but an old man,” the Captain finished with a soft smile.

A lightening quick smile flashed across Woohyun’s face. “Indeed,” he grumbled.

“So how was your day?”

“You’re joking.”

“You’re right,” Hook took back his question and returned his attention to the papers in front of him. “Let’s get down to business.”

“Wah,” Woohyun exclaimed in disbelief, shaking his head. “Have things really changed that much?”

Slam! Woohyun popped up in is seat as Hook slammed his pen against the table. And while he was scared and startled, Woohyun was grateful to finally see a glimpse of the pirate that he once knew. “This isn’t Neverland,” the Captain growled. “This is Reality. I’m not sure how…” He broke out into an exasperated sigh, running his good hand through his hair, messing up the neat style. Strands of hair escaped and fell onto his forehead. Hook then took in an other deep breath and straightened himself up, also straightening the crooked badge attached to his vest. It finally caught Woohyun’s eye, seeing it glint. Kim Sunggyu, it read. And that was it. There was no title. There was no hook attached to his other arm, just a painted wooden hand. This wasn’t the person he knew. Woohyun met the other’s gaze and sighed as well. Sunggyu continued, “You’re my client now. I’m supposed to win you over and get you to join our bank. Do you even know how many banks I’m competing against? My career…”

“So you have to be nice to me?” Woohyun cut him off. He couldn’t fight back this anger growing inside of him. Moments ago, he thought that he’d finally found what he’d lost years ago, but it now seemed like that person was lost forever. “It’s all just lip service?”

Sunggyu leaned back in surprise, blinking as he slowly picked up his fallen thoughts. “Yes, but that’s not it…This isn’t Neverland. I’m not a pirate. Hell, you grew up!” he exclaimed and brandished his pen at Woohyun, pointing it in between his eyes. After he realized how threatening and improper he was being, Sunggyu lowered the pen and spoke in a gentle, dead voice, “You’re not Namu anymore, Nam Woohyun-ssi.”

“I am,” Woohyun insisted. He refused to let go of this part of him, with childish stubbornness. He was going to hold onto Namu, onto his roots, as tightly as he could and wouldn’t be shaken, no matter how strong the gales blew.

Sunggyu shook his head. “No, no you aren’t.” But a faint smile clung onto his lips and his eyes softened. “Now are you going to give me your gold or am I going to have to take it from you by force. I may have lost my hook, but I can still slice you with this,” Sunggyu playfully threatened, raised the pen again, limply now.

Woohyun looked from the pen up to the other and back down to the pen again. He was suddenly reminded of that night back in Neverland, when Hook had cast his sword aside because Namu hadn’t been in the mood to play. It was when Namu had no one else besides the pirate and his shadow, all before he grew up. But they were both adults now, doing grown up things like setting up a bank account. Woohyun felt the corners of his mouth droop low on his face. Even the feeling in the air was similar to that night. Woohyun reached for the pen. “No, you’re right. Where do I have to sign, you filthy pirate?”

Woohyun signed where he was told and barely listened to Sunggyu ramble on about savings, checkings, and interest, which in spite of the name, Woohyun wasn’t even interested in. In his mind, he was balancing conflicting feelings, between running away from this situation and not wanting to lose contact with the old man for a second time. And while the scales in his mind where wavering back and forth, Sunggyu gathered up the papers and told Woohyun that he’d see him outside.

The appointment was over. Panic suddenly spread through Woohyun, and one end of the scale crashed onto the floor. Before he knew it, they were at the bank’s doors, and Sunggyu offered out his hand. Woohyun knew what was coming. He loathed it. Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.

Woohyun clenched his fists, shoved deep in his pockets, “So…do we have to pretend that Neverland never happened? Are we strangers now?” he asked the other with wide, searching eyes.

Sunggyu dropped his hand and put it into his own pocket. “Things have changed,” he responded dryly.

“But, Cap–Sunggyu-ssi,” Woohyun was quick to correct himself. “You’re the only person that knows me. The real me.”

“What about Ms. Kei?” the other challenged (Woohyun had told him earlier, while filling out the paperwork, that Ms. Kei was his legal guardian).

Woohyun shook his head fervently. “She can only remember my face and some images, like a childhood dream. Fuzzy memories aren’t knowing,” he fought back. Ms. Kei’s memories were barely even recollections; several details were still scattered about, forgotten.

The permanent faint smile on the elder’s face grew into a true one. “Then, I’m the only one,” he spoke quietly, as if he didn’t want to admit it.

But Woohyun wasn’t afraid to admit anything. In fact he confessed in the other’s place, “Me too. Sunggyu-ssi, I’m the only one who knows you.”

“Right,” Sunggyu reluctantly agreed, his eyes on the floor as he nodded. He then scoffed and threw his head back, groaning, “Seems like I’ll never be able to get rid of this annoying little brat, pestering me to play every second of the day. God, what have I done to deserve this?”

Woohyun laughed at the other’s mock misery. He nudged the other on the shoulder. “Eh, you like it,” he spoke. And then he leaned in and spoke lowly, “After all, you’re my mortal enemy. I can’t let you go until you’re dead.”

Suggyu scoffed and pushed the other away, “Not unless I kill you first.”

“Ah, to die will be an awfully big adventure!” Woohyun exclaimed with a great grin on his face.

“Aish, acclaimed writer but you keep spitting out the same lines,” the other retorted and clicked his tongue in admonishment.

“Catchphrase! It’s a catchphrase. You’re supposed to repeat it,” Woohyun argued with a laugh. He then waved at the other and left him with this parting, “I’ll get you next time, Hook.”

“You know where to find me.”

Yes, Woohyun new exactly where to find him. He went the next day and discovered the man sitting at a desk, shocked at the younger’s sudden arrival.

“What are you doing?”

Woohyun sat on a free space on the desk and grabbed at a paper weight, mildly amused that it was in the shape of a skull (perhaps the other was still holding onto his roots too and his words were in misstep with his actions). He threw it up in the air and caught it in his palm, laughing at the gasp that escaped the other’s lips. “As it would turn out, people in Reality do lunch as well,” Woohyun stated as he placed the skull back down with a thud.

“Do you want me to eat with you?” Sunggyu asked with a raised brow. Woohyun nodded. The elder clicked his tongue and moved the paper weight away from the other’s reach. “Why didn’t you just ask like a normal person?”

“Then is that a yes?” Woohyun answered his question with one of his own. Sunggyu gave a short nod. The writer slyly looked at the other out of the corner of his narrowed eyes. “Why didn’t you just answer like a normal person?”

“I am normal,” Sunggyu immediately retorted.

“I am normal,” Woohyun mimicked him perfectly.

Sunggyu pulled back and stared at the man on his desk in disbelief. “Are you serious?”

“Are you serious?” Woohyun repeated with a mischievous grin tearing at his face.

“Aren’t you a little old…”

“Aren’t you a little old…”

Sunggyu paused for a second, composing an appropriate response and trying to make the best out of an annoying situation. “Captain Hook is the best and I admire him so much.”

“Captain Hook is the worst and I despise him so much,” Woohyun twisted the other’s words and smiled proudly as if he’d solved all the ills of the world (he might’ve provided a bandage for his world at the moment. His mood was improving).

And while Woohyun was beaming like the morning sun, Sunggyu stared at the other, tapping his pen impatiently on the desk. After a few seconds without a word passed between either, Sunggyu finally gave in, “Are you done now?”

“Yes,” Woohyun chirped as he slid off of the desk. “So…lunch?”

“Fine,” Sunggyu agreed, sitting up from his chair and reaching for his coat. He then grinned at the other. “As long as you buy it, Mr. Critically Acclaimed Author.”

Woohyun blankly nodded as he watched the elder slip on his coat and brush right past him. Once Sunggyu was out of earshot, Woohyun pouted and grumbled, “Filthy pirate.” Even in this world, Sunggyu was constantly taking his gold from him.

“Did you know that there’s a place that sells nothing but ice cream?” Woohyun asked as the two walked side-by-side down the street.

Sunggyu stopped in his steps, and Woohyun stopped a few steps ahead and turned around to see what was wrong. “Please don’t tell me we’re going to an ice cream parlor for lunch,” the elder begged.

“No…” Woohyun denied, avoiding the other’s gaze and tugging on his tight collar. “So where should we go instead?”

The banker smirked and began walking again. “I know just the place,” he announced as he walked by the younger and left him behind. Woohyun jogged to keep up and followed along in the other man’s shadow.

“Aah!” Woohyun let out as he leaned back in his chair, stretching and breathing in the fresh spring air. He felt refreshed and renewed in this environment, relaxed as well. Sunggyu had taken him to a restaurant with an outdoor patio surrounded by a lush garden that was far superior to the flowerbeds Ms. Kei kept. The plants were imported from the far reaches of the world. The flora was brighter, the fauna was bigger, and Woohyun hadn’t been this satisfied with his surroundings ever since he’d escaped the dreaded doylies. He had an urge to pluck one of the tall grasses from nearby and twiddle with it in between his teeth. He wanted to kick his feet onto the table, lean back on the back legs of the chair, and soak in the sun’s rays until he was as tan as once was. He felt that young again. “I keep telling Ms. Kei that food tastes better when eating outside.”

“It does,” Sunggyu agreed. “You look at home.”

Woohyun closed his eyes and breathed in deeply once again. He couldn’t get enough of it. “It feels like home. It even smells like it. Ah!” he sighed contentedly. Upon hearing the other chuckle, Woohyun peeled open one of his eyes and studied the man across from him. Sunggyu looked decidedly happier than he did, trapped in that dank bank. “Doesn’t it remind you of Neverland too?”

“Eung,” Sunggyu grunted, closing his eyes and soaking in the atmosphere as well.

“Don’t you miss it?”

“Hm?” the banker’s eyes snapped wide open. He then titled his head as he admitted. “Sometimes. It was nice playing all day, being a pirate. Exciting.” He paused to glare menacingly at the other. “But then I had to deal with you everyday.”

“You liked it. Like you said, with me it was exciting,” Woohyun reminded him as he leaned forward, resting his head in his hands.

“You tried to kill me,” Sunggyu argued. “You almost killed me. I almost died.” He placed a hand over his chest and grimaced as if he had been shot by a pistol.

Woohyun stared at that hand over the heart as he sat back up straight in his seat. “I didn’t know you were going to die,” he quietly revealed and glanced down at this tea.

“What?” the banker challenged with a mocking laugh. “What did you think would happen?”

“I don’t know. It’s hard to explain,” the writer grumbled, twirling the cup on the saucer. “I wanted to kill you, but I didn’t want you to die. I just...” He paused to groan. He was embarrassed, but back then, he was just a mere child who didn’t understand the consequences of his actions. “I didn’t know that it would mean that you’d be gone forever. I just wanted to win.”

“You…you missed me,” Sunggyu slowly concluded.

“No,” Woohyun denied and shook his head so quickly that hair fell out of its meticulous style (and he hoped that the idea would fall out of the banker’s head, but it didn’t).

“You missed your dear old Captain. Wah!” Sunggyu exclaimed, clapping his hands as if he just won a prize. “Did you cry? Did you cry after I died? I bet you did. When Namu cries does sap come out like a real tree?” he teased.

“I didn’t cry! And you didn’t die,” Woohyun combatted. All of his satisfaction and calm earlier melted into a hot puddle of embarrassment. His cheeks were growing hot, and his voice was growing louder. “You came back.”

“Aye, I did,” Sunggyu confirmed with a proud smile. He then took a long sip from his tea while still gloating at the other.

“Would you miss me?”

The elder choked on his drink. “Hm? Pardon?”

“Did you miss me?” Woohyun rephrased the question. He watched the other’s blank face carefully for any small traces of a reaction. “These past three years, did you miss me at all?”

The banker looked away and at the garden next to them. The writer followed his gaze as well, watching the leaves and petals dance in the light breeze. Woohyun almost half-expected to see the golden halo of a fairy emerge from behind the wide fern leaves. He did, until he remembered where he was. He was losing himself to his memories again.

“Yes.” Woohyun whipped his head back to see Sunggyu gazing straight at him. The elder continued, “…but like you said, after awhile, it all feels like a dream.”

“It wasn’t.”

“I know,” Sunggyu replied with a resigned sigh.

“You missed me,” Woohyun once again spoke the words the other had failed to.

“You missed me,” Sunggyu twisted it around.

Woohyun frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. “Aren’t you too old to be mimicking somebody?” he argued.

“I wasn’t,” the elder mumbled. He then quickly diverted the younger’s attention, tapping at the lemon slices for their tea, still laying on the dish untouched. “Hey, eat those. You don’t want scurvy.”

“Why are you so weird?” the writer asked with an embarrassed wince. But nevertheless, he still reached for a lemon slice and ate it. “Ah, sour!”

Woohyun hadn’t told anyone what was the source of his crisis. It wasn’t the play or the fact that he sold his life’s story as fiction. Those he could manage easily. He felt like it was the greatest prank that he pulled in Reality. A secret that few were privy to. But this, no one else knew. Almost every night, he dreamt of Neverland. It wasn’t quite a nightmare, but it also was almost like one. Everything was so vivid and real in his dreams, but when he’d startle awake in Reality, he struggled to sort out what belonged where, where he belonged versus where he was. And those dreams became a storm cloud, floating over his head for the rest of the day. A cloud that would rain down the cold, hard truth and strike him to the core with longing. He couldn’t shake off that feeling as much as he tried. There was no amount of sunshine and happiness those days that could chase the cloud away.

Until now.

If the former pirate was good for anything, he was good at stealing away Woohyun’s focus and diverting it elsewhere, whether it would be a biting word to lure him into playful banter or a simple touch that would ease the tension in Woohyun’s heart. As a result, Woohyun sought out the other more and more, especially after those dream-filled nights. And perhaps the writer was fulfilling the same needs for the banker, because Sunggyu came to him just as often. And when they were together, they joked, played, talked seriously or not at all. They lived, not in Reality but in their own little world that they were starting to form with each other.

Before, Woohyun was concerned with what Neverland was, who it truly belonged to: Namu or Captain Hook. But none of that mattered anymore. Now Kim Sunggyu was his Neverland.

“Have you fully grown up?” Sunggyu asked. They were finally at the ice cream parlor for lunch after Woohyun had suggested it relentlessly for the thousandth time. The elder had been having a particularly dreadful day, and the air was unbearably humid. So Woohyun finally got his wish granted and was immensely enjoying his sundae with the veracity of a five year-old, which was perhaps the reason why Sunggyu had asked the question (also the whipped cream clinging to the younger’s lips which Sunggyu had been fighting the overwhelming urge to dab away).

Woohyun put down his spoon and (thankfully) wiped his soiled mouth with his napkin. “I'm still working on it,” he confessed. He then listed, counting off his fingers, “I have a family and an old mother. I have a job and an agent. I have money. I live on my own. I even have a bank account.” He paused and with an embarrassed chuckle he put out another finger and added, “I've gotten a kiss. Two actually.” He put out another finger, one for each kiss.

“A kiss from a Wendy hardly counts,” Sunggyu immediately dismissed.

Woohyun pouted. “Why is that?”

“What did you need a Wendy for?” the elder challenged.

Woohyun closed his eyes and thought hard to recollect his thinking at the time. “To tell me stories and sing me lullabies. Tell me that everything will be alright,” he concluded.

“To be your mother?” Sunggyu reached his own conclusion. Woohyun turned his attention back to his sundae, avoiding answering that question. “That's not the type of kiss you need to grow up,” the banker continued.

“What is?” the writer asked with his mouth full.

“Love. First love,” the other answered with an embarrassed chuckle. It was so unlike a pirate to speak of something so gentle and tender (but then again he always harbored a soft heart). “And not one of those silly schoolboy crushes.”

“I don't think I've ever had one of those,” Woohyun muttered sadly. He felt like his life had taken a step back. All of this time, he thought that he was a full-fledged, but now he realized that he was missing a crucial step. He had been suspecting it, even before Sunggyu had brought it up. Love. From Ms. Kei, he’d learned about its power. She’d often fondly speak of her late husband as if he were still alive. It wasn’t long before Woohyun noticed that the husband was still alive in her heart. Love wasn’t something Woohyun fully understood yet, but he at least thought that he had more experience with it than he actually did.

“Hey,” Woohyun called Sunggyu’s attention away from his own ice cream. “Do you think that Tinkerbell crossed over? She could give me one. She liked me back in Neverland. And she was a y little minx.”

Sunggyu snorted before he fell into chuckling. “Yea, you haven't finished growing up yet.”

Woohyun may still have some growing up to do and some more things to get used to in Reality (Ms. Kei recently took up the hobby of pressing flowers and Woohyun couldn’t understand why someone would torture an innocent plant like that), but for Sunggyu, things were different. He was different in Reality. He was so mild mannered. He was honest as well. It was strange and it put Woohyun more on edge than when they were rivals. And when Woohyun confronted the former pirate about his current good streak, Sunggyu replied, “You were right. As an adult, I need to take responsibility for my actions. And if that’s the case, I want them to be good.”

Woohyun could respect that, especially since Sunggyu had ties to the church. Two fathers found Sunggyu after Woohyun had dropped him mid-flight. They took him into the rectory, thinking that he was a homeless drunk who wore a costume in lieu of real clothing. And Sunggyu played along, which wasn’t hard as he had developed a taste for rum after years of being a pirate. The fathers helped to put Sunggyu back onto his feet and got him a job at the bank. Now while Sunggyu didn’t live at the rectory anymore, he still went to church every Sunday and ate dinner with the priests.

However, even that couldn’t account for everything. Sunggyu had assimilated too easily into this world. Unlike Woohyun who was often conflicted between which world was real, when in fact both were real but one denied the existence of the other, all leaving him terribly confused. Sunggyu reacted to the entire situation like Ms. Kei did. To them, Neverland was a fond, dream-like memory, a treasure buried deep within their hearts.

They were at their favorite restaurant when Woohyun breached the subject, “I’ve always meant to ask you, how did you assimilate so easily into society?”

“‘Assimilate into society’?” the banker repeated in a shocked but teasing tone. “My, look at you using big, fancy words.”

Woohyun cocked his head as he narrowed his gaze on the other. “Captain,” was what he always called the other when he was being cross, about to spit our fighting words. “I fought against you long enough to know when you’re trying to distract me from my prize. Try to lure me in with biting words so we’d end up arguing and I’d forget my goal. I know you well enough.”

“If you know me, then you should already know the answer,” Sunggyu pointed out with a cheeky smile, but the look on Woohyun’s face didn’t change, nor did his determination. “Alright, I concede,” Sunggyu yielded, letting out a sigh along with his resolve. “Unlike you, I did not grow up in Neverland. I grew up here, in Reality.”

Woohyun scooted in closer and lowered his voice. “What happened?” he asked. “The Lost Boys had all fallen from their prams as babes and were whisked away. What did you fall from? A wheelchair?” he ended with a joke because the other began to look uneasy.

A smile cracked along Sunggyu’s face. “Funny, but no. I had fallen into a situation that I wanted to get out of,” he confessed. He glanced up at the other and then over to the garden, which became a habit whenever he was recollecting the past. “I was engaged.”

“What?” Woohyun could barely believe what he had heard. Although he was still unfamiliar with Love, he knew that engagements and marriage were tied in with it. Ms. Kei loved her husband, her daughter loved hers, and so on and so forth for generations before and after. Was someone in Love with Sunggyu? Did he Love her back?

Sunggyu chuckled as he turned to look at his friend again. His fingers were rapping nervously against the table, although his expression appeared to be calm and unnerved. “There are some things that you still don’t know about Reality, Namu. And about me. I really am a dirty scoundrel.”

It was an arranged marriage, like most were back then. Sunggyu wouldn’t say that she was a complete stranger, but a stranger nonetheless. They probably talked with each other for no more than fifteen minutes before their parents had decided it would be a fruitful match. Their fathers were business partners. Their mothers got along. She was pretty, and he was handsome enough. And there was nothing that was supposed to be disagreeable about it. But it disagreed with Sunggyu all the same. Just the thought of his upcoming betrothal made his stomach churn and a sense of dread wash over him. He had hoped that he’d become one of those respectable eternal bachelors and spend his life in peace and quiet, and alone. But now, he was forced to share his future with someone and his peace and quiet would be filled with a lifetime of small talk…and then eventually the screams of tiny children when the time came.

It wasn’t that Sunggyu was a misanthrope. In fact, it was quite the opposite. He enjoyed the company of men too much, beyond societal norms. However, he was also not naturally inclined to be the rebellious type, in spite of the decades that he had spent as a pirate. And so he would marry like his parents wanted him to do, like her parents wanted him to do, like he was supposed to do. He wasn’t going to be happy about it. And he doubted if he’d ever be truly happy ever again.

For Sunggyu, being adult and happiness did not go hand in hand. Being an adult meant responsibilities weighing him down like a leaden chain. He’d never have his happy heart fly amoung the clouds again, unlike when he was a youth.

In fact, he had been looking at the clouds that day at the park, wondering what it was like to be that high and free. His fiancée was sitting on the bench next to him. They were to get married the next week and were spending the rest of this one getting to know each other. It had been going well. She didn’t mind sitting with him in silence, but while his eyes were on the clouds, hers were on the children, playing and causing all sorts of commotion. She tapped Sunggyu on the shoulder, arresting his attention. “Look,” she whispered, gesturing to a young boy and his even younger sister. “I’d like to have two just like that: a boy and a girl. How about you?”

There it was again, the dread. All of the sudden the world seemed to crushing in on him. He didn’t want to have a boy. He wanted with all of his might to be a boy again. He wanted to be free of all of these new responsibilities, loading on top of the ones that he already had, crushing him until it was hard to breathe. And to Hell with those old responsibilities too! To Hell with his job! To Hell with filial piety! To Hell with society! He’d rather become a dog like Diogenes than be a gentleman.

But he couldn’t say that. Sunggyu just let out a strangled noise that his fiancée interpreted as assent, and she went on to discuss family names. While she was telling him the ‘outdated but beautiful’ name of her great-grandmother, some flash of light caught Sunggyu’s eye. It was too early in the day for fireflies, but there one was. And another! And was that another one over there? One of the fireflies was drawing nearer to Sunggyu, zig-zagging in the air. Sunggyu glanced over at his fiancée to see if she was witnessing this strange sight too, but she was frozen solid. Her lips were still in the midst of forming the name, and all of the children in front of them were frozen midplay. The whole world had stopped, except for Sunggyu and the firefly darting straight towards him, right in between his eyes.

Then it suddenly stopped, centimeters away from his face. And once Sunggyu had sorted out his crossed eyes, he realized that it wasn’t a firefly at all. Through the golden haze of the halo, he could see a little girl with translucent wings fluttering on her back.

“A fairy,” he muttered in disbelief. “But they don’t…”

The fairy held his lips shut tightly with her small hands, locking the deadly words in. She then put a finger to her own lips as she let go of his. Sunggyu nodded, promising to be silent. The fairy then giggled like tinkling bells and spun in the air. She was exclaiming something excitedly, but all that Sunggyu could register was a high-pitched buzzing in his ears. She then inspected every centimeter of him, even pulling back his lips to see his gums, glancing up at his nostril, and peeling open his eyelids. What she seen must have pleased her because she began circling about his head until she softly landed on his shoulders. Sunggyu had been still, voluntarily frozen, afraid to scare or anger the magical being. But when the fairy walked across his shoulder and whispered at a lower register into his ear, “Do you want to play?” Sunggyu finally moved: he nodded.

Suddenly he was surrounded by a swarm of twinkling lights. Hundreds of fairies flew about him like a whirlwind and carried him up into the air. Moments later, he found himself aboard a pirate ship with a sword being into his hand and a hat being placed on his head by his new fairy friends. That day, he became Captain Kim Sunggyu. And years later, when his hand was lopped off and fed to the crocodile, he became Captain Hook.

And the rest was now preserved in Woohyun’s book.

Sunggyu hadn’t told the writer his whole story, just the bit about his overwhelming sense of fear and the fairies freeing him. “You were right, or Ms. Kei was,” he admitted at the end of his story. “I was fleeing from responsibility for my whole life. But then…I ended up with a whole band of Lost Boys under my watch. I tried to flee responsibility, but it still found me.”

Woohyun frowned, stewing in his spot. Sunggyu was speaking in a joking voice, but the elder had just told him how much responsibilities had scared him. Then under the guise of play, Sunggyu was forced to take care of him. He was Sunggyu’s greatest fear. “I never asked you to take care of me. I did fine on my own,” Woohyun grumbled.

“Aye, you did,” the other readily agreed, probably to calm Woohyun’s brewing storm. The writer looked up at him curiously. “Taking care of you was always easy. I just had to make sure that you were fed and played with.”

Woohyun scoffed. “You make it sound like I’m some dog,” he growled.

“No, not a dog,” Sunggyu spoke teasingly. “You’re my Namu Neulbo.”

That nickname heralded forth a flood of memories, of young Namu in his precious tree filled with friends and of the pirate captain who’d circle below, waving his hook in the air. Woohyun shook his head. Sunggyu was trying to distract him again. The writer still had some answered questions. He focused on the pale wooden hand, resting on the table, and used it as his anchor to Reality. “Whatever happened to the woman?” he asked.

The other let out a slight groan, saddened that his ploy hadn’t worked. The banker yielded and answered, “She probably married someone else and had several children. My departure was better for the both of us. She probably lived a happier life.”

“What about you? Are you happier?” Woohyun asked, raising his gaze from the hand to the other’s eyes.

“Infinitely,” Sunggyu replied without missing a beat.

“Why?”

Sunggyu smiled faintly and shook his head. “You don’t want me to answer that.”

“Why not?”

“There are some things about this world and adulthood that you don’t understand yet,” and Sunggyu left it at that. He stood up from his seat and walked over to inspect the garden more closely, suddenly interested in the brightly colored pitcher plant. Woohyun watched the man carefully as he looked into the plant’s mouth and grimaced. The heart squeezed in the writer’s chest. But it wasn’t like a painful vice-grip. It was more like a warm handshake, a tight hug. The squeeze caused warmth the pour forth, filling his entire being.

“But I think I do,” Woohyun muttered his comeback to the other, to low for the elder to hear. “I think I understand completely.”

He had always known what the pirate wanted to confess.

The next time they met, it was at Sunggyu’s place for drinks, knocking one more item off of Woohyun’s ‘growing up’ list. Although the writer neglected to tell him that he’d already been to several events and receptions, all flowing with champagne and red wine. But he held his tongue because it was the first time that Woohyun had been invited over.

Once inside the banker’s modest apartment, Sunggyu confessed that he was embarrassed as the hyung to be making less money and be living more humbly. He also had to explain to Woohyun again that as a banker, he saved Woohyun’s money and could not spend it. However, that did not stop the elder from strong-arming the younger into paying for meals. As far as Woohyun was concerned, Sunggyu was still stealing his money…or maybe now Woohyun was giving it away willing.

In any case, Woohyun found nothing shameful about his friend’s apartment. It oddly looked very much like his captain’s quarters on the ship. The writer smirked. For all the talk, it seemed like Hook had a hard time letting go of Neverland as well.

Sunggyu led him to a leather couch and poured the two of them a great portion of rum in their tumblers. He hand the tumbler filled with rum and ice to Woohyun and then sat down next to him. The two drank in silence, or until Woohyun coughed a few seconds later from the unexpected burn. Sunggyu chuckled and urged the other to drink more slowly. And then afterwards the conversation flowed easily, discussing everything from their workweek to Ms. Kei’s most recent fascination with knitting.

It must have been something suddenly displeasing about the old woman to Sunggyu, for a deep frown was etched on his face. His brows bowed, creasing his formerly smooth forehead.

“What?” Woohyun suddenly asked after telling the other about the 6 foot-long scarf Ms. Kei knit for him.

Sunggyu tipped the glass in his hand, watching the ice clink against the surface. “Have you gotten your kiss yet?” he asked, eyes still on the glass.

“No,” Woohyun answered with a knowing grin on his lips. “I can't find a First Love as easily as I can find a Wendy. But...” he paused for a moment, biting on his lip in thought before continuing, “…I was wondering.”

“Yes.” Sunggyu’s gaze finally matched his.

“Would a kiss from a pirate count?”

“I think…it just might,” Sunggyu stumbled through an answer.

Excited by that answer, Woohyun might’ve moved too quick, suddenly leaning closer to the other until his breath fell upon the elder’s parted lips. Sunggyu recoiled a bit. He was nervous. Woohyun smirked. He must have grown up much to make the other nervous like this (now only a few years separated them). Sunggyu was now more shaken than when they were play fighting and Namu had held a knife to his throat. Back then, Hook had been more prepared to die at Namu’s hands than Kim Sunggyu was ready to kiss Nam Woohyun. But the banker’s cheeks weren’t the only ones painted heavily with blush. He wasn’t the only one with a heart hammering almost audibly in his chest. Woohyun was scared too. First Love must be scary. Rejection too. Even though both were pretty confident of the other’s feelings, there was still the smallest of chances of rejection. And that was enough to keep them stopped with their faces close, with lips nearly touching.

In the end, the pirate took the risk and closed the gap, giving Woohyun the kiss he needed.

And Sunggyu had been right: it wasn’t like kissing a Wendy at all. When he kissed them, just a brief peck would do. It would be enough to satisfy his appetite for affection. But now, even after their shaky and haphazard meeting of lips, more of a brushing then actual kiss, Woohyun wasn’t satiated. Was it the taste of the other’s rum-soaked mouth? Or just the wet, soft, slightly sticky feeling? There was a possibility that it was just because he was Sunggyu, a person that Woohyun wanted to become close to, and that he’d never be close enough to be fully satisfied. Whatever the reason, one kiss wasn’t enough, nor was two, nor was the hand gripping at the nape of Woohyun’s neck, dragging him in, nor was just the lips satisfactory. He had to taste the soft skin over the cheek, the tautness over the neck, the slick teeth and warm tongue. They both did. Sunggyu was just as hungry.

However, they had to part, still left wanting more, but the need for air was precedent. They weren’t going to regain it quickly, how they were still facing each other and breathing heavily, taking in the air that the other just exhaled, but neither wanted to move. Sunggyu’s fingers were still threading through the small hairs at the base of Woohyun’s neck. And Woohyun was still holding him by the fabric of his vest, his knuckles now white.

“I told you…there was a reason…I kept fighting you,” Woohyun spoke whenever he found air.

Sunggyu opened his eyes and searched the other’s. “What?”

“You were the last thing I needed…to grow up.”

Sunggyu chuckled and asked, “How does it feel now…to be an adult?”

Woohyun dove back in, kissing Sunggyu once again. His heart was racing. It was beating faster than when he raced against the Lost Boys home, faster than when he chased the fairies in the glen, faster than when he challenged the mermaids to holding their breaths under water. And the satisfaction, the happiness he gained from this simple action, outweighed all his childhood joys by much.

“Amazing,” Woohyun answered. First Love wasn’t scary at all. It was the best.

“Namu?” a voice sang out, filling Woohyun’s apartment, which was now cluttered with model ships and coins from around the world. The walls now were no longer bare. Pictures of Woohyun’s grand adventures hung from them, but he wasn’t alone in them. No, he hadn’t been alone in a very, very long time. And he loved it.

“Namu neulbo?” Sunggyu called out, finding the younger at the typewriter and staring blankly into space. He draped both of his arms on the other’s shoulders as he leaned in to inspect what the other had been writing. But the page rolled into the typewriter was blank. So Sunggyu shook the still thinking Woohyun gently and asked, “What are you thinking of?”

“A new story,” Woohyun mumbled through his hands resting in front of his lips. “I want to write a real novel. For adults,” he answered curtly as he was still in deep thought. But then he felt Sunggyu lean more on him, forcing Woohyun to physically feel the weight of his presence. The writer smirked. He might’ve been the child for longer, but Sunggyu goaded him to play and demanded more attention than Namu ever did. Woohyun lowered his hands and bent his head back to look at the other. He grinned. “You know, because I’m real grown up now.”

Sunggyu nodded and pulled himself off of the other, opting to lean against the desk so he could talk to Woohyun face to face. “Really?” he asked in mild surprise. “What is it going to be about?”

“First Love,” Woohyun responded quickly back.

Sunggyu snorted. “You’ve been in a relationship for awhile, and now you know everything about First Loves?”

It hadn’t been just a few months. Ever since he stepped foot into Reality, Woohyun had been learning about all forms of Love, not just of Firsts: A mother’s Love, filial Love, the greedy Love of material objects, etc. He learned of the divine yet mortal nature of Love. How it would blossom and flourish one day, but would often wither away and die, only to be born again in another form. It was an endless cycle of death and rebirth. However, for some lucky few, Love never died.

So Woohyun nodded, answering the banker’s question. “Yes, I’m an expert now on everything adult related, especially First Loves.”

“You know,” Sunggyu began, playing with the edge of Woohyun’s paper with his good hand. “First Loves typically don’t last,” he remarked, trying to play it off as an off-handed comment, but Woohyun knew better.

Woohyun grabbed that hand, intertwining it with his. He squeezed it, tightly. He wasn’t going to let go of it this time. “Then I’ll be the Man Who Never Gave Up On His First Love,” he declared.

“That’s quite a title,” Sunggyu retorted. “But it suits you,” he quickly added before Woohyun even thought of frowning.

The writer grinned and rose from his seat to kiss the other softly. “I know,” he responded after pulling away. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Even though he had finally grown up, Woohyun still retained his child-like, stubborn determination and his innocence, which has nothing to do with age or naiveté but everything to do with the purity of his heart and his integrity. And he purely loved Kim Sunggyu, forever his Captain, and forever his Neverland in his heart.