Chapter 6 – The Truth

            The maknae stared up at the white ceiling, listening to the clock tick as each second passed.  However, he was in no way any closer to getting any sleep.  To add to the list of things he would never admit to, he was currently suffering from insomnia.  Ever since he left for the states, he could never properly go to sleep and would stay up for days on end without a single wink.  It wasn’t healthy and he had tried everything possible, but he couldn’t bear to sleep.  He was too afraid to.  He didn’t want the nightmares.  He didn’t want the panic.  He didn’t want the pain.  But most especially, he didn’t want the dreams of when he and Sungmin were still together.  No.  Not ever.  Those were the dreams that made him lose touch with reality and he never wanted that to happen.  He never wanted to have hope.  Never again.

            However, there was a grim bright side to this.  Because he could never sleep, his focus went to writing new music.  He quickly got tired of playing his old childish games and happily tried to write one night.  As it turned out, turning your heartbreak into songs actually worked.  He happily managed to put out many of his songs, as he has mentioned earlier.  He smiled to himself and then turned to his side, face to face with his wall.

            Grief seemed to strike him, causing him to tighten his grip around his sheets.  He remembered again.  The words that had come out of Sungmin’s mouth.  He shut his eyes and put his hands against his ears in an attempt to forget it.  “He’s lying,” he chanted, his voice barely above a whisper.  “He left you.”

            And he lay there for the night, never ceasing his endless chant.

            “Good morning everybody,” a man greeted, his sunshine personality blinding everyone that walked into the kitchen.

            “I still don’t understand how you could be this happy Ryeowook,” a man muttered, hiding behind said man’s boyfriend.

            “Leave him be Eunhyuk,” Yesung said lazily, his eyes never leaving the man who pranced around the kitchen with an apron on. 

            “Lovebirds,” Eunhyuk muttered, walking towards his roommate.  Donghae pinched his cheeks and led him to the table.

            Ryeowook set down the bowls and gladly took a seat beside his boyfriend.  Everyone else followed suit.  All except for three.  “Do you think it’s a good idea to drag them out at the same time,” Yesung asked, looking around for suggestions.

            Before anyone could respond, a tired Kyuhyun walked into the room dressed in pajama pants.  He scratched his hair as he took his usual seat, which was still left empty even after two years.  “Morning,” he said with a yawn.  He looked at the bowl and started to dig in.

            The rest of the members looked at each other nervously before digging into their own bowls.  They dreaded the time when—

            “Morning,” a high pitched voice greeted as a little girl came running into the dining hall.

            Everyone except for the maknae stiffened at the sound and slowly turned to face the energetic little girl.  After, they quickly looked back at the man who continued to eat as if nothing was happening.  “Sa-Hyun,” Leeteuk greeted, breaking the silence first.  “Where’s your daddy?”

            At the sound of feet thudding down the hallway, the maknae finally froze, remembering what had happened last night.  “Sa-Hyun,” Sungmin scolded, scooping her up into his arms.  “What did I tell you about not running off?”

            “But…our house,” she whispered, wondering why she was being yelled at.  She always ran out for breakfast.  It hadn’t been a problem before.

            Sungmin sighed, knowing that explaining the whole situation would be too complicated for his daughter.  “Just don’t run off next time, okay sweetie,” he said, tapping her nose.

            She wiggled her nose before nodding in agreement.  Sungmin then set her down and she waddled her way towards Donghae, who gladly scooped her up to sit beside him.  She giggled at the contact and Donghae proceeded to help her out with breakfast, as he usually did.  However, that left Sungmin with only one chair and one chair only.  The chair that he’s had for years on end.  The one beside Kyuhyun.  Sighing, and hoping not to get punched, he took a seat beside the maknae, who had continued to eat his breakfast.

            Everyone held their breath, wondering why no one had decided to switch seats.  They looked around.  Sungmin, being a brave soul, then decided to speak.  “Good morning Mr. Cho,” he greeted, grabbing his chopsticks.

            With that, Kyuhyun set his bowl down and stood up from his chair.  “That was delicious as always Ryewook,” he said, giving the table a bow.  “I shall see you all later.  I’ll prepare for my schedule first.”  He scooted his chair in before turning to Sungmin and giving him a bow.  “Good morning to you too Mr. Lee.”  Kyuhyun then walked away, taking a deep breath as he walked to the showers.

            There was a moment of silence before the rest of the members released the breath they had all been hoping.  “At least that’s improvement,” Heechul suggested, trying to lighten the mood.  The rest of the members agreed.

            Sungmin, on the other hand, thought that it was a setback.  He would rather the maknae scream and be angry at him rather than treat him like any other person.  At least then he would know that he was still fighting for him.

            A knock came upon Yesung’s door, causing him to look up from his work.  “Come in,” he said, setting his book down.

            As the door creaked open, a shy Sungmin slowly walked into the room, shocking the elder.  The man never had the guts to properly face and talk to him.  Sungmin knew that the other was the one that was angered the most with what he had done.  Yesung had refused to talk to Sungmin except for when it was necessary; meaning public occasions.  He had slowly warmed up to him as the months progressed, but it wasn’t to say that he still didn’t hold a grudge.  Sadly, to this day, Sungmin had never dared to tell anybody the truth.

            “What are you doing here,” Yesung asked, confused, but not angry.  Ever since he started dating Ryeowook, his whole self had started to warm up.

            Sungmin quietly closed the door behind him and put his hands together.  “I just wanted to say that I was sorry,” he whispered, not daring to look up.

            Yesung noticed the tense atmosphere and slowly made his way towards the younger.  Sungmin flinched ever so slightly at the sound of every step.  Thinking that the older was planning on punching him, he held his spot.  After all, he deserved it.  Didn’t he?  So it was shocking when arms gently wrapped around him and pulled him into a hug.  Sungmin didn’t react for a moment and it wasn’t until Yesung’s shoulders were moist that he noticed that he was crying.  Sungmin held on tightly and let his tears continue.

            All the tears that he had been holding in were finally flowing and he didn’t know how to stop it.  He felt horrible.  He knew he was still in love with Kyuhyun.  Heck, he never stopped loving the man.  But he had ruined any of their chances of ever being together.  Kyuhyun refuses to talk to him or even look at him.  He treats him as his elder and refuses to acknowledge his existence unless necessary.  But, the worst part is that it might already be too late to do anything about it. 

            “I’m not Kyuhyun,” Yesung whispered as he slowly pulled away from him.  He gently wiped the tears away from his cheeks. 

            “I-I know,” Sungmin choked out, trying to control his breathing.  “But I can’t tell him.”

            “You can’t tell him what,” he asked, leading him to sit on his bed.  The two settled and Yesung patiently waited for the younger’s response.

            “That the marriage was a hoax,” he whispered, clutching his face.  He felt as if the stones on his shoulders lessened.  He hadn’t dared to tell anyone the truth, but he couldn’t hold it in any longer.

            Yesung’s eye widened at the sudden confession.  What?  “Wait, you mean, it was all a lie,” he asked, trying to wrap his mind around it.  “Then you have to tell Kyuhyun!  He’ll understand!”

            Sungmin wiped his tears away before smiling and looking up at the older.  “I would if I knew that he would take me back.  I would do anything,” he whispered.  “The thing is, as much as I would like to, I know I’m not right for him anymore.  I’m a widowed man with a kid.  What kind of sane person would go back to someone like that?  Especially after I lied and broke his heart?”

            Yesung stayed quiet for a second, knowing that he had a point.  “But Sungmin, you’ll end up regretting this,” he said, trying to convince the other.  “You just need to tell him the truth.”

            The younger started to play with his fingers, as if he was a lost child.  “I don’t think I should honestly.  I’m ‘tainted’ and he’s too young and innocent to be stuck with someone like me,” he whispered.  The words coming out of his mouth were not for Yesung’s convenience but for his own.  He needed to accept this.  He needed to accept the fact that he will never hold Kyuhyun in his arms ever again.  He needed to accept that Kyuhyun will only look at him as another person.  But most of all, he needed to accept that he will have to live with a broken heart.  “Plus, I couldn’t bare my daughter thinking that she was just the result of a forced marriage.”

            Sungmin stood up and walked towards the door, the older watching him intently.  “Tell me something Sungmin,” Yesung suddenly interrupted. 

            He stopped, his hands on the door knob, but didn’t dare to turn back.  “Yes hyung,” he whispered.

            “If you didn’t plan to tell him, why did you tell me?”

            “Because I needed to convince myself that I could live without him.”

            “And how did that turn out?”

            Sungmin turned around with a tear stained smile before nodding and walking out of Yesung’s room without another word.  Yesung sighed and ruffled his hair.  What was he supposed to do with this information?

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A/N:  Hello!  Thanks for sticking with me!  I’m sorry this took a while, but Senior year is way more busier than I expected it to be…

I hope you liked it!